10 Sponsors Who Will Be Contacting Michael Phelps Soon

After the news of Michael Phelps being a pothead came out over the weekend, it seems like that’s been all people can talk about lately. I don’t really know what the big deal is though. The dude is 23 years old. If you can show me one 23 year old who doesn’t smoke and I can show you 50 more that do.

Fortunately for Phelps, his sponsors are backing him up and not dropping him. They probably smoke too.

Not only is Michael Phelps not losing his current endorsements but here are some new sponsors that he should expect to hear from soon.

Visine

Phelps’ script: “Gets the red out no matter where the red came from. Pool water, lack of sleep, smoking. You name it.”

White Castle

Phelps’ script: “The spot to hit when you have the munchies. Better smoke some more afterwards as air freshener though because you will be fartin up a storm.”

Doritos

Phelps’ script: “Not quiet White Castle but it will do if your high ass doesn’t feel like driving.”

Axe

Phelps’ script: “You don’t want to look AND smell high do you?”

Altoids

Phelps’ script: “Curiously strong mints for people who smoke curiously strong substances”

Oakley

Phelps’ script: “If your gonna hide being high, might as well look cool doing it.”

Zig Zag

Phelps’ script: “For when you just can’t put you hands on that bong.”

Dutch Masters

Phelps’ script: “For when your smoking with your hood friends.”

Tempurpedic

Phelps’ script: “After you satisfy the munchies, this is your next stop”

Red Bull

Phelps’ script: “Most smokers other drug of choice. Best used the next day to avoid grogginess.”

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Author: Lenny

Women. Weed. Weather. @LennyGaiter @hail_mary_jane

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