Before you start filling the comments and telling us that nothing sucks while being stoned just read this first. You just might catch yourself saying, “Yup, that would suck to do while stoned.” First off I want to thank Lenny for thinking of the title of this list while him and I were in a bodega in NY. He said, “I hate going to the grocery store while stoned because I buy so much extra food.” I would also like to thank the Greenies on facebook and twitter for giving in suggestions. Here we go…..
1. Grocery Shopping
Like Lenny said, going to the grocery store stoned sucks because you end up buying a ton of pointless and extra food. Like why did I buy 8 bags of plain potato chips. I don’t even like plain potato chips. I could have spent this money on more weed instead of wasting it on pointless food I will never eat.
2. Work Meetings
Being stoned at work is one thing. You’re doing your thing and no one is really bothering you in most cases. But when the boss calls for a meeting, that’s when things get tricky. You’re looking for that visine and smelling your shirt to make sure you’re not smelling like fine green herbs. Like most stoners feel, you think everyone is looking at you. Like they know you’re stoned or something. Luckily at HMJ, we prefer to be stoned at our meetings.
3. Driving With A Cop Behind You
I personally get parinoid when a cop is driving behind me and I’m not doing anything wrong. But, when I’m stoned I start freaking out inside. Thinking of stuff that makes no sense. Like, is one of my back light bulbs burnt out while the sun is out. Or is it obvious I’m driving stoned because I’m driving the speed limit.
It’s always a great idea to get stoned before doing homework. Then 2 hours later you’re looking at you paper with nothing written on it. Wondering where the time went and what the hell have I been doing? I suggest one hit every 20 minutes or more. Anymore than that and you might as well close the book.
5. Talking About The Illuminati
Believe in the Illuminati or not, it is still some scary stuff. Talking about it while stoned can get you into some sticky situations. Situations where you are freaked out. Wondering if someone is watching you. Whether it is real or not I suggest you do not watch the youtube series about them alone, stoned, and at night. It had me very scared.
6. Talking To Parents
Even if some parents know you smoke bud, it still isn’t always cool. If they know you smoke, most likely they will start messing with you. I don’t know how many times that has happened to me. But the worst is when they don’t know and you need to talk to them. I always think I’m going to get caught or asked if I’m high every time. I got pretty good at doing it with my parents but other parents still trip me out.
7. Conversing With Sober America
Holy crap, do I hate this. You get those idiots that are like “You high man?” Or they start trying to move all around and try to trip you out. They basically end up looking like the high ones usually.
8. Talking To The Cops
I don’t mind talking to cops, even if I’ve had a few beers. But talking to them while stoned is a complete no no on my list. I don’t want that question from them asking if I’ve smoked some weed today. Plus who likes talking to cops while stoned anyways. Their job is to find us, unfortunately.
9. Making A Presentation
This is like a work meeting except worse. Everyone in the room is looking at you. Usually a few of your friends know you’re stoned and that doesn’t help because you know they are laughing. Which will most likely make you laugh and that never works out good in class.
10. Making Important Phone Calls
I really hate talking on the phone period, but while stoned is worse. I get so distracted from anything else in my area. Seeing something on the TV, seeing a squirrel running around outside or someone else in the room. Only text me while I’m stoned please.
11. Going To The Bank
The worst part for me going to the bank is the part when I think I need to get more weed and take out more money for it. When really I have plenty of weed. I don’t know how many times that has happened to me. Plus, standing in that line is just horrible stoned or not.
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