Oh the weather outside is frightful…depending on where you live, that is. Not everyone is unlucky enough to experience annual snow, so I’ll sum it up for you warm winter folk: It’s freezing. It’s windy. It’s generally gross. But the climate doesn’t have to make you miserable – because there are plenty of ways to enjoy the fresh powder. Just light up, put a smile on, and let’s explore this winter wonderland!
THE SNOW BONG (DEFINITION 1: A BONG FILLED WITH SNOW)
Yes, there are two definitions, this being the more practical of the two. Aid your smoking activities with some nature: A majority of waterpipes have the ability to catch ice, meaning that there’s a layer of frosty coldness that the smoke has the pass through after making the great journey through the bubbling water at the bottom. Now – Ice is good and all, but snow is hardcore. The more frosty surface area, the colder the smoke, the smoother the hit. It’s stoner science. Unfortunately, the snow does melt fast and it does make regular maintenance of the water level a necessity, but such is the price to pay for a puff of heaven.
THE SNOW BONG (DEFINITION 2: A LARGE BONG MADE COMPLETELY OUT OF SNOW)
Here’s the second meaning of the snow bong. There’s no better way to show your stoner pride than to brave the cold weather and build a six-foot bong out of packed snow. Imagine the giant snowman who’s taking a hit out of this baby? Of course, the practicality stops there, because I haven’t seen one of these bad boys that is fully functional…at least, not yet. Maybe someone should get on that.
BUILD AN IGLOO
The most resourceful and determined of stoners will spend hours digging and piling and packing just for the chance to bake out an igloo. Sometimes these aren’t the prettiest man-made ice houses (like the stealth igloo above), but they get the job done for the 2-3 times you actually want to use them. Then you realize that you’d be better off just puffing in the warmth of your house. If you are a pothead with lots of motivation (that’s an oxymoron), then by all means go for it.
EXPLOIT SOMEONE ELSE FOR THEIR IGLOO
What’s more descriptive of a stoner than to let someone else do all the work and then reap all of the benefits? When I attended Binghamton University, that was the name of the game. The engineering students would build magnificent igloos in the woods – testaments to the glory of humankind. They would fit upwards of ten people sometimes, use downed trees as walls, and build thatched roofs out of dead branches. Cafeteria trays would be waiting there for use as seats. It was perfect, and no one I knew even had to lift a finger. In a college environment this is the best stoner move one can pull…aside from combining this with The Snow Bong (definition 1).
Yep, I whipped out that picture. Why? Because Michael Phelps is in the stoner’s favorite environment: The blinds are drawn shut, there’s a computer nearby, and he is currently ripping a fat bong. This is the reason why most potheads will not even notice a blizzard. The combination of those three things can keep them busy for days on end and completely oblivious to the weather conditions outside. They have no reason to go anywhere when they can order Domino’s online, smoke weed, and watch movies all day. It’s kind of like heaven.