sm1106stoned-towelie-posters_545x743shkl

77 Ways You Should Know That You Are Way Too Stoned

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We’ve all been there. You smoke and you realize at some point that you got way higher than you thought you would or it creeps up on you and hits you all at once. Then you are past the point of no return. You instantly turn into a vegetable that will only move to get food or to make your way to your bed. I hope your medical marijuana is top quality like Royal Queen Seeds has.  You still feel lovely though.

It happens to the best of us.  Here are 77 ways that I (or my friends) have experienced that let us know that we may have had too much that evening.

You know you are way too stoned when….

  1. You can’t hit your bowl cause it’s clogged with resin
  2. You light your cigarette the wrong way
  3. When you realize that the song you thought you were listening to ended ten minutes ago
  4. When you decide to found your own religion entirely based on the eating of Doritos
  5. You are tired of talking midway through a sentence
  6. Your bags are empty and you don’t know why
  7. When you find yourself at McDonald’s with no money because you spent it on weed
  8. When you say a joke to someone who originally said that same joke to you
  9. When you talk to your cat and get angry because it’s not replying
  10. When you talk to your cat and it actually is replyingstoned_545x408shkl
  11. If you play through just one level of a video game, then look over and find the clock has somehow skipped five hours
  12. When you cough up a lugie and it tastes like bong water
  13. When you stare at a TV that’s not even turned on because you don’t feel like turning it on
  14. You put your lighter in your mouth and try to light it with your bowl. (true story)
  15. When you put sentences together like George Bush
  16. When your friend tells you to roll another blunt, and half an hour later you wonder why no one’s smoking
  17. When you go to Wendy’s and pass out with your face in your french fries
  18. When you decide its a good idea to moon a police officer
  19. When everything is just a little too funny
  20. When walking to your kitchen seems like an epic journey
  21. When you start to do one thing, get distracted by another and never even remember that you started the original thing
  22. When you wake up still high and rush to work only to realize that this is your day off
  23. When you fall asleep 5 minutes after starting a moviesleep_545x377shkl
  24. When you stop at a stop sign and wait for it to turn green
  25. When you load a bowl without dumping the ash out of the last one, you cant pull a hit, and fuck up a bowl of good weed having to dump out a half burning bowl and watch it crumble into black powder
  26. You spend 30 minutes searching for something and then realize that it was in your hand all along
  27. You pour anything but milk into your cereal
  28. Someone says hi to you and you reply 45 minutes later because you just realize what they said
  29. You drive 40mph on the highway
  30. You drive 10mph on the street
  31. When you get excited because you beat your dog in a staring contest
  32. When you call to order a pizza, wait 2 hours and realize that you never actually ordered it
  33. When it takes you 10 minutes to figure out how to operate a seat belt
  34. When you go grocery shopping and the only thing you buy is pop rocks, nerds, and every single wonka candy you findc_545x398shkl
  35. When you just can’t stop coughing
  36. When you forget to put water in the bong
  37. When your bong is taller than your dog
  38. It takes you 25 minutes to roll a joint
  39. When the Taco Bell employees know you by name
  40. You’re eating something on your way home thinking about what you’re gonna eat when you get home
  41. When you start stealing friends lighters
  42. when you try to leave the house but had to go back in 6 times to individually retrieve your wallet, cell phone, lighter, keys, drink, and hat that you remembered to bring, one at a time
  43. You call burger king and ask if they deliver
  44. When you try to figure out ways to smoke the roaches
  45. When you misplace a 3 foot bong, that you just used
  46. When you don’t have anything to drink so you drink the juice from a can of fruit
  47. When you think everyone thinks you’re really stoned
  48. When you look like this….hearts18stoned_545x727shkl
  49. When you “accidentally” kiss your girlfriends sister thinking it was her
  50. You are out of weed so you try chewing on sticks and seeds
  51. Spend an hour trying to find a specific DVD only to realize you left it in the DVD player
  52. When you enjoy not being able to move
  53. When you’ve lost your lighter, again
  54. When you start a sentence and then half way through you forget what you were going to say
  55. When you swear you see police cars behind you and you haven’t even started the car yet
  56. When you forget where you put the rest of the weed or the dutch
  57. When you read a blog post and can’t even make it to number 57 in it without getting distracted by the fridge
  58. When you get lost in your own house
  59. When you have a baggie but no papers so you roll a joint with a page from the phone book
  60. When almost any song sounds good to you
  61. When you’ll eat just about anything4-guinea-pig_545x409shkl
  62. When you change your order at a drive thru like three times and end up with everything you asked for
  63. When you can’t say “Say No To Drugs” without laughing hysterically
  64. When you spend 4 hours walking 3 big circles around town just to find a good place to smoke more
  65. When you forget what you were watching during the commercial break
  66. You are late and stoned to everywhere you go
  67. When you watch your favorite TV show on mute while you listen to your iPod
  68. When you and your friends keep playing a crappy video game because no one feels like switching it
  69. When you wake up at 6………………………….. PM
  70. When you roll up a blunt, forget about it, and then find it a few days later and wonder where it came from
  71. When you cook after getting the munchies and you forget about your find and don’t find it until tomorrow
  72. When you get a board game and you are too lazy to read the directions so you make up your own rules
  73. When You Wait For 4:20 to hit..And its 4:29 before you realized you were sopposed to smoke 9 minutes ago..
  74. You accidentally light your hair on fire instead of the blunthair-on-fire_545x409shkl
  75. When you are at Jack in the Box and you don’t even remember how you got there
  76. You have or know someone who has done more than 20 things on this list
  77. You browse Hail Mary Jane everyday, Subscribe to the feed, or follow me on twitter (shameless plug)

What did I miss? I want to hear some of your crazy “you know your too stoned” situations.

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  • http://savvyfatty.blogspot.com S A V V Y Fatty!

    LMMFAO @ "When walking to the kitchen seems like an epic journey"
    YES!
    I have a very small place and the kitchen ain't that far away, but I'll sit here in my chair and stare at the kitchen entrance waiting for it to get closer for HOURS.
    LOL! Oh, and can't NOBODY tell me Bushie wasn't BLOWN in the video above. Nobody's that idiotic without being under the influence of SOMETHING. (I'd think)

    • http://www.hailmaryjane.com/members/admin-2/ Lenny

      LMAO Sav's…. ur crazy as hell… Thanks for the comment!

  • vannie2

    How about when it takes 3 attempts to add this page to my favorites

    • pam`o`so hight

      just did it'

      • pam`o`so hight

        ^but it toke me 20 min and then gave-up just to renumber. how to it then again. xD

  • sirkeith

    When you are afraid of the Subway restaurant because you have to tell them so much to make your sandwich. After you make it through the sandwich process, you buy 6 cookies out of fear.

    • Jag

      i agree with u my firend

    • Sandwich Artist

      How about when you are afraid to go to work at Subway because you have to ask people so many questions and you know that you only were paying attention to half of what they said.

    • pam`o`so high

      oh i no

      • me,myselfe,i

        fuck up i put it n the wrong place:$

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  • Siii

    Enter text right here!ever wiped the bread on the butter because you can be bothered to fetch a knife?

    • Codamoda

      when your too Stoned to Erase the "Enter text right here!" when replying regarding a post about weed.

      • pam`o` so hight

        haaa good one !!!! :D

  • Steve

    You know you're too stoned when you stop being able to comprehend English, and are instead thinking in a made-up language that you think is the language of babies. Also you know you're too stoned when you're convinced that you are dead.

    • mike

      damn who do you buy your weed from? haha

    • Leslie

      We must be related!

    • steve is gay

      that doesn't happen

    • Bubbles

      This kind of shit happens to me all the time. lol Your post actually reminded me of the other day when I was at a friend's house totally going about my business, thinking I was dead, but then got distracted by the movie they put on (I still have no idea what it was) but there were a lot of screens with words and I knew in my mind it was written in English and my brain was interpreting it in English, but it LOOKED, to me, like it was written in Russian, or some other kind of weird letter-shape having language. And some of the words were popping out of the screen. And then I got distracted again because the cat was staring at me rather intently, or so I thought.

    • yos

      dude that happens to me all the time you must be raeding my mind… omg… stay out of my head

    • charly bit me

      that happened to me at my sisters house i also thought i went to hell

  • Melissa

    "When you have a baggie but no papers so you roll a joint with a page from the phone book"

    Try a hotel room, the pipe breaks, so we rolled one with a page from the standard bible in the nightstand drawer. We smoked the bible hahahaha.

    • Iain

      Holy smoke!!

    • bob

      ya i did that, used page 420 brah yeaaahhhh!

      • bob eats penis

        that has ink on it

    • carloss

      haha when i run out of papers i use one of the books of mormom i've gotten for free.

      • rafsd

        HAHAHAH! that's brilliant.

        • rob1150

          Yeah…you do know you are going to hell right?

          • BrownSloth

            Yeah shame it doesnt exist, you must of never seen zeitgeist, i strongly advise anyone to watch

          • rob is a fucktard

            Besides, God would understand. After all, he created weed for a reason!! XD

      • pam`o`so high

        ^_^

    • EMoney

      OMG i ripped out page 420 out the bible and threw the bible at a friend..we so high…BIBBLIN!

      ahh i miss Flordia.

    • StonerChick

      Why would you want to smoke a page from the phone book? :X

      And why would you want to smoke a page from the bible? :X Somethings in this world are just wrong to do…

      • pam`o`so high

        then you don't smoke much

    • Rowdy

      It's OK, it's only fiction anyway…

  • potzilla

    steve, what the hell are you smoking?

    • Leslie4

      Steve, we must be related!

    • in this style

      right

  • buggin

    when your friend actually looks at you somewhat frightened and asks "What are you doing?" and your only response is to continue packing the next bong hit and laugh almost hysterically. Then of course the guy on your left seems to have some sort of compulsive obsession because every time i pack one he feels the need to match it. And then you leave the rest of your half lying on OCD dude's couch. and you don't even realize it until hours later 100 miles away and you've already had to pull over twice in the beginning of your journey because moving was no longer an option. That's when you know you're too stoned. oh yeah… and when you realize what you've left behind… you don't even care anymore

    • rasta_daddy

      oh my god … yes … i watched the road in front of me and it just stretched way way way out … i parked … i walked … i drove some more on the ever longer road … it took me five hours to drive 10 miles … and that is the truth

  • dave

    when you forget how to breathe and panic because you can't stop holding your breath. then your friend starts laughing at you, and you start laughing too, and then you are endebted to your freind for saving your life.

    • davesuckscock

      Booooo

    • Katrina

      Happens to me ALL THE TIME!

    • allan

      hey i get that all the time how do you overcome this

  • Dub

    when you put fabric softener in a paper towel roll and blow smoke through it. Then you can smoke more with out getting caught.

    • Brittany

      haha im so gonna try that lmfao

    • deskreet

      the classic huff. make sure not to inhale after u exhale, u get fabric softener shit in ur lungs it doesnt feel good at all

      • pam`o`so high

        it fucking suck the ur eyes and the coughing make it even more notifiable :'(

      • [8.5] currently

        oH FUCK I DO THAt so much i'll be so stoned i'll suck in through the sploof and blow through my pipe O r when… i forgot what i was gointo say

    • Expeliarmus!

      Good Game!!!! Baby Powder works too, but not as cleanly as what you just said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • gone.

      sploof… works… lol.

  • Dub

    when you slide everything across the floor instead of tossing it to someone

  • Dub

    stare at the flame on your lighter and it gets so hot it melts the top and the spring flings the flint,wheel, and guard everywhere

    • StonerChick

      Wait…is that even possible?

      • pam`o`so high

        yes:x

  • http://www.hailmaryjane.com/members/admin-2/ Lenny

    Not sure what some of you are smoking but you might wanna calm down on some of that stuff… lol..

    • anonymous asshole

      HA SHUT UP.

  • Pot_Princess

    your too high when…….whats was i talkin about lol
    your too high when you start hearing death metal music while watching jamaican booty shakin videos (happened to me lol)

    • pot princess=gay

      nah that just means you're gay

  • el duderoo

    When you make a snack to eat while you make the main snack

    • tiffunny

      i can't tell you how many times i've done this!!

    • pam`o`so high

      every time i smoke

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  • usedtoandstilldo

    When your playing Madden and find yourself instant replaying a single play for an hour.

  • Levi

    When you you watch three movies and think that you only watched one

    • Toke-ahontas

      lol and the story lines kinda merge together.. try being blitzed outta your tree, watching Drag Me To Hell, then watching Aladdin cause one of your friends is a huge Disney fan… that is one crazy combination lol

  • James Earl Jones

    Que?

  • Jag

    buddy ur the best man, almost everythin u said ther was true, im glad im not the only big major stoner, i thought it was jus me n' ma buddies but i guess not!!

    • jageatspoop

      Jag? more like… fag….

  • JAG

    One time i had was i was ridin' my new harley down king george hwy, in Surrey. And i was so baked i zoned out, then 2 seconds befor i crashed i saw a car, the same car i hit. It was soooooooooo trippy, luckly i never got hurt too bad.

    • JAGisgay

      gay

    • hiiiiiii

      king george in Farnborough? i live near there

  • juan

    you know your too stoned when your friends dad is smoking with you. hahaha

    • John

      Not true, first time I smoked with my friend, his mom, and his stepdad.

    • Jessica

      Dude, I smoke with peoples parents all the time.

    • StonerChick

      :X my friends dad gave me a 'wake and bake' once! only me and him! it's was awesome :D I love Tank! :D

    • Dakoda

      I smoke with my dad on the daily =p

    • pam`o`so high

      yea i got caught.by my friends mom, i didn't even have time to put it out . i just froze an all i could think to say was (you wont to hit this) to my surprise she looked a rounded then took it out my hand. and wail she was hitting it she told me don't say a thing about her smoking to my friend………..now 5 years later i still go by and smoke with her oh an my friend still don't no her moms a pothead like me. haaaa

    • Ben

      or when your friends SON is smoking with you.

    • Lizard

      My dad walked in on my hitting the bubbler, and I thought I might be in trouble, then he’s like “let me have a hit”, and I lit it for him.

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  • cooljoes

    when you go swimming and when under water you forget which side is up

  • gemma

    my brother gets stoned and i get scared

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/heysayyes2drugz heysayyes2drugz

    1.you know your way too stoned when the the ugly guy or girl looks fukable. 2. you know you are way to stoned when you say fuk it and fuk it all!

    • josiah

      1. that's something that happens when you're drunk

  • chrisisfetch

    you know you're bombed when you went to the store, got food, sat in the parking lot, ate all the food, then bugged out on your friends accusing them of eating your shit. (true story) happens like 99& of the time now a days.

  • lamar Mahle

    you are too stoned when you think it is a good idea to call your mom, when you get creative while shaving, when you leave the house with a dollar and sixty cents on a "mission", when lil wayne actually makes sense.

    • guest

      im with you on leaving the house with not more than 3 bucks thinking youre bout to do somethin crazy with it

  • Stephanie

    All the screens are gone from every sink.

    • yes…

      Then you cut out a piece of screen from your window. Doesnt work. Dont try it. Its a waste of green.

      • wow..ha

        lmao to yes.. i actually did that…. haaa

  • darath

    When you lift your eyebrows for a minute and forget about it until you look in the mirror like 20 mins later wondering why you suddenly got wrinkles lol

  • mindfreak

    wake at 7am thinking its 7pm

  • john

    you know you are too stoned when your friend who speaks perfectly good english asks you or one of your buddies "will teach english" and then points to himself in a desperate attempt to make you understand

  • andy

    you know you are too baked when your buddies load another bowl and at your turn you freak out cause your thumbs won't move and you can't take you hit

  • KiKi

    You know you're wwaaaaayyyy too stoned when you think that your cat is your long lost love that somehow had a curse placed upon him/her that made him/her turn into a cat. Then you started bawling and kissing your cat and trying to tell him that everything will be alright and you'll help him find a way out and that you love him. That was the craziest thing i've ever hallucinated.
    You also know when your stoned when you cook soup, call up your friends, forget about the soup, and 3 hours later you remember and find that the soup is now mushy and smelly and sooo gross. Especially because the soup was clam chowder. (ew)

    • CommonF'inSense

      Weed doesn't make you hallucinate. Stop it.

  • jules

    When you look down all surprised cuz you forgot about the joint in your hand !

  • starr

    I used to be known for setting my hair/eyebrows/eyelashes/sleeves on fire when I was smoking… and I actually have rolled a J with a page from the phone book before!!

  • Maxzwell

    rofl at so many of these, including those in comments.
    …you’re too stoned when a cigarette you just lit has finished smoking itself without your help while you were trying to formulate a sentence, so you light another one and (seemingly)
    30sec later the same thing happens to that one, so you light a third one and this time keep checking the cig compulsively to make sure it’s burning at a normal rate and there isn’t some kind of trickery going on.

  • stonerdancer

    ways to tell when your too stoned…. when you sit there after smokin god knows how much bud and you feel like your watching tv except your really just chillin with your homies. lol.

  • deech

    hahaha i love this.
    you know your way to stoned when the bowl is passed to you halfway through a story. and you know if you take a hit someone else will start talking and you'll forget what you were sayin. so you hold the bowl and lighter in your hands for a few minutes and when your done talking, you look around to see who the hell is holding up the rotation.

    • dimius

      All the fucking time

  • Alex

    When you think think that the best way not to get busted is to throw all your weed AT a cop car (True story)

  • Alex

    When you think think that the best way not to get busted is to throw all your weed AT a cop car (True story)

  • j r

    when you complain to your friend for holding the bubbler to long and when he passes it to you, you hold it for 10 min before taking a hit.

  • Thomas

    31 for me

  • Thomas

    also, you know youre too stoned when youre smoking with your therapist

  • http://hailmaryjane.com/77-ways-you-should-know-that-you-are-way-too-stoned/ jop'a

    when everything looks like the old school mario game and you start jumping on crap hoping itll die

  • Doc Dre

    you know you're too stoned when you put food on the stove and go back to watch tv… and 20 minutes later the fire alarm is going off because you forgot about your food on the stove

    you know you're too stoned when you are at a diner and you and your friends cant even place an order to the waitress because you are all giggling like little school girls

  • Marc

    another way u know ur too stoned is if u think a hand going up down left and right while music is playing is really an ostrage.

  • Rob

    Isn’t this pretty much a list of cool things about being stoned? Lol come on, think about it, a world of high without what was named in this list, would be a sad, sad world.

  • Stoner Chick

    oh man. between my friends and i we have a good 90% of this list knocked out, and then plenty more! like deciding to watch a movie, then when the movie is half done turn to a friend and ask "hey, weren't we going to watch a movie or something?" and then we all pick out another movie, stop the one we'd been watching, and start a new one because nobody remembered putting in the first one.

  • Lindsay

    You know you’re way too stoned when you forget how to eat..and can’t tell if you’re awake or not.

  • stoneymiclongblunt

    when ur paying for something and u forget wat currency ur using…….yep my friend thought he was paying in yin or euros..thats how u kno ur stoned

  • bob

    you know youre too high when you take 3 huge bong hits out of a triple chamber, listen to wu tang first album and the speakers and room dimensions start distorting, then you literally turn green in the face and start trippin balls and getting naseous, then you go up to the university to play some raquetball, and throw up all over the place

  • thurrn

    when you spend 3 hours trying to find the bowl. and find it in the microwave 6days later.

  • nigga James

    When your so stoned u leave broken up bud on ur desk forget its there then find it skatterd all over ur keys/desk after playing WoW for 3 hours straight slowly spreading ur weed everywhere…. ugh happend too many times…. also (true story) trying to find ur lost pack of newps cuz you want to smoke horribly, not realizing u have a fresh new cig in ur mouth the whole time————– When u ninja around ur house trying to sneak some food while avoiding any confrentation with ur parents.

  • 4four2twenty0

    You know your too stoned when 10 min after taking a bong rip you burp out smoke…

  • kristen

    when your at a restraunt and you start freaking out cuz u think your in china cuz there’s so many Asians

  • barney

    when you try to hit a bowl the wrong way.

  • killz

    When you ash your cig but then put the burning end in your mouth

  • T.J.

    you know your to high when your in taco bell waiting for your friend to get back with the food when he gets back and you eat your food you start talking about what your going to eat when you get back to his house. Also when your having a staring competition with your friend then all of a sudden everything goes kinda fuzzy and then your on the floor while your friend is laughing hysterically at you…. then you start laughing to

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Dirtsquirrel Dirtsquirrel

    You know your too high when its only you and your friend smoking from a nice tall glass bong and your friend smashe's it on the concrete, and tells everyone it was your fault that you have some sort of curse. Then you go to smoke with that person again with another person and their bong breaks, and he yells at you. TRUE STORY!

  • lewis

    you know ur stoned if you just searched "how to know how stoned your are" on google and read this hole thread from start to finsih in 2 hours and 45min

  • deskreet

    ill drive by 5 subways to get to a wendys because i dont have to get out of the car

  • johny high

    3,11,13,19,20,21,23,26,52,54,57,58,61,65,69,76
    <<Yeap thats ME!!! hahaha thats funny as shit!!!

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  • Teh_Blair_Witch

    @ Melissa: Don't think I can top smoking the bible. Though we did smoke our public transportation tickets and afterwards we had to walk home. XD Which was still very funny, though.

    You know you're way too stoned, when everytime you close your eyes, you forget completely about where you are and who you are with (and occasionally who you ARE and if you exist or not:P). Every time you open your eyes you remember, but when you close them, you forget again. :P

    Also, you're way too stoned when you set the couch at a friends house on fire and all you do is laugh hysterically. The dude's parents were on vacation. We were there smoking and some ash fell on the couch and it started burning while we were in another room. When walking back to the living room my BF made a joke about the couch being on fire when we would get back, which was the case. The dude had to fix the couch and while he was doing that, the two of us just rofl'd and made sewing jokes.

  • piffman

    Ur to high when you lost where u left ur feet. True story lol

  • jordan

    well i had a good but i forgot what it was but i guess that is a good one haha

  • Beckie

    u always know ur super stoned when u put the blunt out in ur coke can instead of the ash tray and u forget its in there and u drink it and u only realize this when ur friends ask u what hapened to the rest of the blunt 5 minute later

  • SlickBob

    When you try to load a new bowl only to find you haven't even started the last one you loaded

  • http://www.myspace.com/kbhkaw Stoner from denmark

    hahah very nice..

    We all know some of theese situations for our selves..

    the worst happened for me was when i was so high i still pissed when i put my dick back in the pants..

    sorry for my bad english, I hope its understandable.

  • jackie

    when you go to an arcade and just stand there for three hours cause you cant focus enough to put the dollar bills in the coin machine

  • Mitch

    When you're so high that you cook something in the microwave, and when it goes off you yell "DING!!!!!!" (true story)

  • Sarah

    when you get lost in your fridge and think your on a journey in there looking for food.

  • Jack

    you know your too high when you forget what you were saying and say ummmmmmmmmmm for 10 minutes until you remember

  • Toke-ahontas

    haha you know ur too stoned when you bring a bag of chips to the store on your journey to get munchies
    @juan: lol yeah? i know im too stoned when MY dad is smoking with me lol

  • On Pluto

    When you start saying something and stop, then you start laughing, and your friend says “what are you laughing at?”, and you say “because i was saying something” and your friend says “when?” and you say “i dont know, but it seemed like a long time ago” and your friend says “you know what they used to do a long time ago? ride horses everywhere.” and you say “i bet it would take a long time to go to the store on a horse.” And then you both continue watching tv.

  • Dr.LivingStoned

    You're too stoned when you think it's a good idea to trip acid at your freinds house…. your freinds dad happens to be a preacher. (true story uber fun!)

  • weedman3000

    1)when you are talking to someone, fall asleep mid sentence then wake up 15 minutes later continuing what you were saying
    2)when you shit your pants cause you farted and don't even realize it

  • dave

    When you have a conversation on how Camel cigarettes and zebra cakes are equal

  • i <3 ganja

    when degrassi ( the older one that drake was on) becomes a part of your daily smoking routine lol…. watch degrassi and listen to kid cudi

  • flash

    when you spend half an hour playing shadow puppets and pretending to be monsters destroying a city

  • Bennett

    when you look at your friend who is sitting there calmly and tell him he needs to calm down.

  • Bennett

    when you only remember 1 or 2 parts of a movie you just watched.
    when you eat cereal from a cup while kneeling in the middle of your room.
    when you drop weed on the ground and you try to lick it up.
    when you think your going to fall out of the car.
    when anything on t.v is funny. ( watch divorce court and just listen to everybody arguing)
    when your friends tell you all this funny shit that you did and you don't remember it.
    and when you are spinning and looking up at the sky and yelling… THE SKY IS MOVING!
    also when you and your friend laugh for like 30 minutes thinking that your laughing at the same thing but finally when it's over you find out that you were both laughing at completely different things…… then laugh about that for another 30 min.

  • http://www.puppyjuice.com PuppyJuice

    I know I'm stoned when I lay something down and can't find it a few minutes, I'm famous for losing everything I touch as soon as I get high. By the way, that girl in the pic looks like she has a little more going on than just being stoned.

  • smokey

    You know you're too stoned when you think you are walking straight, but you are walking with a slant the whole time. (truestory) or you think that you're walking straight when you are sitting down. (true story) Heres another one you hit your bowl and you know in your head u should be stopping. (truestory

  • http://MisanthropyTonight.blog.com Misanthropist

    You know you are too stoned when
    A) your idiotic enough to carry in excess of ounces for personal use as a group
    B) when you run from an ambulance
    C) when you ran into a dead end so if it was the police you would have been screwed.
    D) watching childrens tv at 6am

  • John

    IMO, you are too high when you announce to everyone that they are flat and that they should explain themselves.

  • John

    Also when you keep asking the sleeping people why they aren't playing Nazi Zombies with you…

  • Brandon

    When you have to read the 52 like 14 times cause you don’t understand, and when you do, you just don’t get it…

  • ewoks

    you know your stoned when your rug wont stop tickling your feet. and at the same time your friend is asking what sound does the walobee's make. so your just walking in place with a big grin on your face going "he he he"

  • weednik

    you know your too stoned when you cant read the rest of this list because your about to piss your pants after reading #14.

  • weednik

    oh shit, made it to 46 then lost it again. full on fell-out-of-chair-face in carpet cough fest, laughing my ass off….with drool

  • gr3g

    you know you're stoned when you hold the phone like 10mins after the other person hung up. or you think you were just on hold the whole time.

  • Mandy

    When it takes you two hours to realize that the familiar looking guy you're smoking with is the guy that sold you your bowl at the local headshop.

    • Scottie

      Hah! I definitely had that happen at college in Indiana!

  • bob

    you know your too stoned when your pop tart bites you…( true story )

  • Mr. Green

    You know your to high when:
    you wear sunglasses at night
    see the sun at night
    think your ugly cousin is the hottest girl while your in a girls gone wild party
    talk to the dorrito god
    talk to the dorrito god….and it talks back
    and finally, when you wake up with a boner and you see your aunt cooking breakfast….with your jersey on

  • Richard

    when you are staring in-depth at the blue neon lights shining through the fan on your computer's case (which i am currently doing xD)

  • http://. Budboi

    Your to stoned when your having a sesh an have a cigge an a joint an you toke on the cigge thinking its the joint lol

  • http://. Bud boi

    Ur waay to stoned When you leave ur hole fitty bag in an alley , kant roll because ur hands magicaly move by themselves , lol kant think of much . There mostly already sed haha , stay HIGH

  • vikingstonerrobotthing?

    when you make a mock olympic game out of who can make it to the fridge in the least steps…

  • Shade

    You know you're too stoned when you spend half an hour waiting for the dude to show up with more weighing shit you found in your pockets with the scale. o.o

    You know youre too stoned when you spend over 10 minutes thinking philisophically about phrases such as "the shit end of the stick".

    Or…. When youre jamming out to a song you know you would hate with a burning passion… if you were sober.
    >.O Weird hippy sounding trippy shit… "Turn it off, dude, I cant handle the truth!"

  • http://hailmaryjane.com/77-ways-you-should-know-that-you-are-way-too-stoned/ bolt

    you know your way to stoned when your best friend thinks its time to turn himself into the police and on the way to the police station we bothe got distracted by a giant dancing pickle laugh for what seemed like hours ended up whoring your best friend out to a guy so know hes BI lol true story
    theres alot more but i wouldn want to over due it

  • Ed

    You know your too stoned when your friend thinks hes in a dream and thinks if he kills you he`ll wake up,
    not fucking fun lol,

    When you spend 10 mins happily callin your friend a dumbass for losing the lighter only to find you had it all along.

    When your trying to light a bowl and somehow drop the lighter into the bong lol true story.

  • nick

    u walk to the shop to buy food and everyone is looking at u cause u cant walk in a straight line and keep tripiing ova

  • nick

    u walk home after smoking at a mates and u forget where u are half way

  • nick

    u stand up and everything goes blury and u feel like ur gunna pass out on the floor

  • nick

    u walk 2 the kitchen for food and run into the wall cause u thort there was heaps more space

  • EZA

    @ #41

    Around 18-20 I had 2 shopping bags of lighters from smoking with friends and always taking lighters.

    Now I'm 29 and its hard to break the habit, I don't mean it but would at least get 3-4 lighters a week without realizing.

  • Lynne

    #54 && 56 on a regular basis lol
    When you put your pants in the dryer, then half an hour later relize your bag was in the pants… in the dryer!!! :O it was a horrifying moment lol.

  • Angus

    Bahaha! “When walking to the kitchen seems like an epic journey” Me and my friends actually realized how much this happened to us so we get a boombox and the lord of the rings sound track and set it up in the living room. Now whenever someone goes to the kitchen we play the theme =D
    DU DUNNN DU BUN UNUNUMMM DADADA DODO DA DADA DEEE

    Anyway, we have a few good ones to add =P

    1. When you can relate to every single thing in the song “High as fuck” by Jon Lajoie (youtube it)
    2. When you’re doing something and someone else turns on music somewhere in the house and you don’t realize someone’s playing music, instead you become convinced that your life now has a theme song
    3. When you decide to cook something, and when you’re reading the ingredients you pause and think to yourself “… this [insert food] would taste so much better with pot.” You then proceed to cook said food (in our case it was marinated chicken breasts) with three ounces of green thrown into in the dish.
    4. When you get a severe craving for breast milk, which you share with your friends, and instead of being horrified everyone in your group agrees that a nice big cup of breast milk would really hit the spot right about now.
    5. When one of your friends slumps into a hilarious looking weed-induced posture and you grab a camera to take a picture, only to blind yourself with the flash because you held the camera around the wrong way around. You then forget to delete the picture and your little sister finds a shot of a pair a wide ass, startled, blood-shot eyes on there the next day.
    6. When you wake ‘n’ bake, then head into the city and spend the day buying shit you don’t need with credit you don’t have. In my case it was 61 pairs of underwear, one of every board game in the store Mind Games, 12 rubik’s cubes (which I planed to solve before the end of the day), and a 96 pack of protein shakes.
    7. When you take a shower and end up choking on the water.
    8. When you order a whole bunch of hydroponics gear because you made a snap decision to grow your own ganja… while still living in your drug hating parents’ house.

  • momsastoner

    *you know your too stoned, when your son is bringing home the goodies for you :P

  • Collegeboy

    When you're smoking that indoor-indoor-paranoid-stuff and start freaking out the people in the apartments around you are going to smell it and call the cops, so you start lighting more incense, then zone out and come back to when you've lit all of your incense and the apartment is so full of smoke you have to open the glass door and stand on your tiny-ass back porch. That sucked. could've started a fire.

    • lol. the worst

      lmfaoo dude… wow. I def feel you though, ive lived in apartments so close together i would get so fuckin paranoid hah omg the worst

  • zoe

    when you have so many things to post here but you don't feel like thinking of them

  • i dont know

    you know your high when its like living on a laggy old computerscreen in the land of frame by frame with you gonig frame by frame and you can swear that you can feel the frames behind you dissapating and you have to take sandwitch breaks while typing something this long

  • stoner charlie

    you know your too high when your in your kitchen with your friend eating cereal straight out the box without milk and your friend falls and you think he is haveinga seizure and start thowing the cereal at him and hes rollin ound on the floor trying not to get hit by the cornflakes and your doing it untill you run out of cerealwhile laughing hysterically and so is your friend

    you know your too high when you ask your best friend how much 22 9 bars would cost and if we cood put it all in the bathroom n just set the whole thing on fire and stay there for days

    whwn thees 2 of you in the room one of you is passed out at you shout CIZZ skin up and hes asleep so you both start throwing 3 weeks of ciggarette and zoot nubs at his pace till he wakes up walks out the house and comes bk realising we were in his house :D

    LEGALIZE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

  • dustin

    pass out while playing a video game but still play the game ahaha

  • Thae

    When you are playing 4 way Mario cart and you think you are doing awesome only to realize you were watching your buddy’s screen the whole time and it was really he who is awesome. Meanwhile your cart has just been bumping a wall the last 5 minutes going nowhere.

  • Smurf

    You know your too stoned when you
    and your friends are all huddled together
    on the couch and gasping of fear…while watching the cartoon chowder.
    You know your to stoned when your smoking in your friends backyard and saying
    “how that bird on the telephone wire is waaaay to close”.

  • Joe

    You know you are to stoned when you turn off all your lights and keep peaking out your curtains for the cops.

  • sunirayze

    When you are reading something long (like an ingredients, etc.) and you subconciously start reading it in a rythm or a song.

    When your friend or even yourself sounds like you have a speech impediment. and you can't stop laughing over it.

    when you make something 15 times harder than reallistically it would be.

    when you get overly excited over something, mostly food haha.

    when you decide to eat something, put it somewhere, forget about it, go make some nachos, and feel like you want to eat the previous thing and forget that is what you were going to eat originally.

    all in which i have went through hahah.

  • C.R.E.A.M.

    You know you're too stoned when you just realized you just smoked in an old person's home

  • bahh

    1) when you make out with a basketball thinking its ur girlfriend
    2) when you can hear your hair growing :)
    3) when its 12 pm and you wonder how the sky got so dark and then you realise that your wearing 7 pairs of sunglasses

  • .:nikki:.

    number 74 has happened to me well my bangs caught on fire, my boyfriend brought it to my attention i was to stoned to even care xD

  • Susannah

    i’m such a head – i think i’ve done the majority of these things..

  • http://www.myspace.com/523870380 Haleigh

    *when your friend is texting, and the beeping you hear is convincing you that the ice cream truck is driving around at three a.m.
    *when you are sitting on the couch and ask "is this a rocking chair? because im rockin'!!"
    *when you stare at the wall for about thirty minutes, smiling to yourself because you know that you are so high that a wall can amuse you
    *when you think youve found the silhouette of dracula on your ceiling
    *when everytime you close your eyes, you see in kaleidescope colors
    *when you cant feel your tongue
    *when you think youve gone blind, then you realize you just had your eyes closed for a while

  • Haleigh

    *when you rub your stomache and insist that its the softest thing in the world
    *when you can actually tolerate shitty music
    *when you really dont want to do anything, not even talk
    *when you laugh so hard at the stupidest things youve ever heard
    *when you go on youtube and type in "trippy videos", by the end of the video you find that you had your mouth hanging open the entire time
    *when you hit your friend, and then it feels like ten minutes have passed, and she finally hits you back and you go " why the hell did it take you so long!" and she goes "you dumbass you hit me three seconds ago!"
    *when you see a yoohoo wrapper on your floor and mistake it for a muffin, then try to eat it
    *when you mkae air quotes and double over laughing because it looked like a crab
    *when you are watching adult swim and absolutely nothing makes ssense.
    *when your mom is talking to you and all you can focus on is how slowly the wall behind her is moving
    *when your dog looks disappointed in you
    *when you get a shitload of food on your plate, thinking you can eat it all, then fall asleep without touching it

  • http://www.myspace.com/523870380 Haleigh

    *when you think you lose your money and look EVERYWHERE, then find it in the usual place, your bra
    *when you are taking the mct's and you keep forgetting what you read, so you have to start over numeroous times, and then you get tired of all the reading and just play eeny meeny miny moe to answer the questions
    *when you arrive somewhere and are sure that everyone is staring down at you disapprovingly, knowing that you are high
    *when you go to church with your friend and make yourself beleive that everyone can smell it on you
    *when you look at the water, and say its digital
    *when suddenly everything looks greener
    *when you feel like your falling and can hardly comprehend what anyone is saying
    *when nothing you say comes out right
    *when you go around with a goofy smile on your face that you didnt know was there
    *when you think you can feel your legs curling into little balls
    (all very, very personal experiences)

  • Daffodil

    When you stare at the computer screen so long it goes to the screensaver (which you changed to "pipes" because it was "pretty good") then watched that for so long your computer went to hibernation.

  • trippy

    You're too high…
    …when you fall asleep with food in your mouth while eating
    …when you can't recall what you did yesterday, last week, last month, or even last year
    …when you're sitting in a hot bath tub staring at the wall for half an hour without even thinking about anything
    …when you move to another place at an outdoor party in middle on a joint, and halfway you lose the joint
    …when you believe you had a heart attack and lie on the floor shaking for an hour, realizing you're fine
    …when you start solving a rubik's cube and halfway you close your eyes and forget that you're solving a cube, and think that you're controlling a spaceship with the cube
    …when you find a dog on the street and you take it home into your room, showing him your dick, and you find yourself with some random dog licking your cock like crazy
    …when you're so paranoid that you're afraid of old grannies
    …when you're rolling a joint, and a bee flies on your nose, but you just continue to roll with the bee on your nose
    …when you spend hours trying to find your key

    (all true stories)

  • trippy

    You're too high when you forget your PIN number and enter wrong numbers, and the ATM takes your bank card.

  • boings

    How about when the only reason you know you’ve been to a drive-thru is through your friends. You’ve been there multiple times, apparently, but never remember it.

  • Rolling stoner 69

    how about when you look down at your arm and find a robot drilling into your arm so it can infiltrate your nervous system so it can take over your brain. and then you realize that there is no robot, youre just stoned right before you head home. then once you get home, you find yourself in a raining field completely naked, and see a light which begins to talk to you, telling you that they are a bunch of aliens and your creator and that you are the new jesus.

    yepp… i was wayyy too stoned that night… and i think that weed might have been laced iwth something, but that happens EVERY time i smoke weed after that one time i took x…. lol i should stop. hahahah

  • Jon

    When words are of paramount difficulty, and hand gestures are your only physically possible form of communication

  • micheal

    for me when i know i smoke so muck weed from around my area i dont get high no more but when i tried weed from another city or place it gets me high as fuck try it if you know what i mean if you dont then try it and you will and if you do then message my yahoo micheal45701@yahoo.com

  • Dan-0

    I have chilled for 20 min. Not knowing my song went off, that’s why I put my shit on repeat

  • jahsh

    after i smoked a few bowls, i got thirsty but all I had was warm bottled water. So i stuck ice cubes in the bottle but one didn't fit. I put it on the lip of the bottle and sat in the sun watching it melt until it fell in! hahaha good times xD

  • Puppet

    you know you're too stoned when you start hyperventilating and your friends try to tell you how to use a inhaler but you just get pissed at them and 20 min. later ask how you use the inhaler.

  • Brandon

    1. When you think your seatbelt is a dragon trying to squeeze you to death.
    2. When you realize the tram you've been riding on for 20 min. is actually your car and you're driving.
    3. When your shower feels like a rainbow of unmitigated energy.
    4. When you think you made up time to feel normal and fit in with everyone else.
    5. When you see wrappers from fast food restaurants scattered around your room that you don't remember going to.
    6. When you pet your cat for 30 minutes straight because it's the craziest thing you've ever felt.
    7. When you figure out how to time travel.
    8. When you can't remember where you've been and what you've done for the past 4 days.
    9. When you look out your window to see if it's night or day.
    10. When you think a cat drinking out of a cup is the funniest thing you've ever seen and laugh at it for 3 hours straight.

  • Brandon

    When think there's an earthquake and realize it's just you breathing.
    When you can't eat because you think there's an alien in your mouth and it turns out to be your tongue.

    • Brandon Dadio

      nope

  • Craig

    one time me and my friend were toking it up and he took his hit and passed it back to me then while i was taking the hit i watched the carb wondering why i wasnt getting a hit, then it hit me. i told my friend and he started cracking up and i was like "haha why is that so funny?" and he was like "dude, i did the exact same thing!"

  • ManWithOutHead

    went to the shop by car and return walking, reach home ” where is my car ?!!”

  • whynay emnay

    I set my hair on fire once. And my dad picked me up an hour later. had to cut all the burnt ends of my hair WHILE i was stoned.

  • savage

    being stoned is just like being a really old person

  • Diman

    ?? ??? ??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Diman

    ?????? ??????????!!!!

  • Diman

    ?? ?? ??? ,?? ? ???????? ??

  • xxxxx

    You know you’re stoned when you start repeating yourself over and over and over Until someone tells you to stop and you keep thinking everyone is talking shit about you so you walk away sad Until you get man thinking about it.

  • ThatBlackDutchKid

    When you pull out the plug of your tv to put your charger in, then sit down, try to turn on the tv, panice because it doesnt turn on, and call your mom to ask what's wrong with the TV

    When you got the munchies, put some fries in a frying pan, walk out, get some Mcdonalds, and stay there for 6 hours

    When you are asking somebody outside how to get to your house, while standing in front of it

  • ben

    holy SHIT dude i got to 57 and went OH FUCK 5 questions before i went and traded 2 scoops of ice cream for a box of cookies! fuck yea!

  • jeseeu

    When u think ur gonna die if u go to sleep…when u think a friend of yours is gona steal your soul and start running from them…and u do the same thing 20 times in a row… :))

  • Ganjalicious

    when youre wearing blue faded pants and the colors intensify and get bluer

  • alow

    your too stoned when you keep re-reading everything multiple times to finally comprehend it

    your too stoned when you wake up and spill all your weed because you didnt remember to put it away

  • Danielle

    You know you're too stoned when you and your friend are to lazy to get up and go to the kitchen so you decide to try to eat a tissue, and you REALLY know you're stoned when you like it and go back for seconds. :)
    Also one time me and my friend decided we'd create a church of the COLLOSSAL CRUNCH!
    "Praise Malt-O-Meal!"

  • kyleeee

    haha all of these are true:]
    when you close your eyes and suddenly the room is gone
    when you cant tell if your watching a horror movie or a comedy
    when the room wont stop changing sizes
    when you try to chase the moon
    when you keep making philosophies
    when you cant tell if you have a boner or not

  • alec

    i did 74 this morning but it was a bong..

  • Will

    when u sketch out at a knocking noise thats actually the song your listening to

  • JayCasson

    when you order 25 burritos for u and your friends then suddenly realize your the only one there.

  • sparky

    when you and your friends are standing in the middle of mcdonalds for and hour trying to decide who will go up and order because everyone is too terrified to order

  • Elena

    u know when ur high when youre munching on junk food and everything you burp you feel like smoke is coming out of your nose and ears
    and when it tallk you over 30 minutes to type this comment.

  • Emil

    when it's your turn to rip the bong and you forget

  • Fever Frenzy

    YEAH! WHEN WALKING TO YOUR KITCHEN SEEMS LIKE AN EPIC JOURNEY. SO FUCKING TRUE XD

  • aly

    when you forget where you live. happened to me twice :|
    or, when you walk down the street by yourself smiling like an idiot.
    and when you can't keep your eyes open.

  • Secret Sauce

    Lol I've actually lit my bangs on fire for a second xD Scared the shit out of me

  • Mitch Conrad

    You know you're too stoned when you can only do the EVEN numbers on your Algebra 2 homework, but can't for the life of you do the ODD numbers.
    xD

  • Mitch Conrad

    You know you're too stoned when your voice constantly changes from high to low and back.
    Or
    When it's pretty much silent wherever you are, but your head is playing a random selection of trippy music and sounds you've never heard before while you stare into no where.
    Ahaha.

  • steven

    When you are out of weed so you search the net to see if it is safe to smoke the black crap that has build up in your grinder over the past few months

  • StonerChick

    OMG! I died laughing when I read this, lucky for me my dog knows CPR! Kudos to you, man, for writing such an awesomely true blog! :D

    The craziest thing that I've ever done is… I was packing my pipe and didn't have a light anywhere near me, so my dumb ass set my pipe down on the end of my seat… well, as I was getting up, my pipe epically JUMPED off the edge of my chair and spilled all over the floor. Needless to say, the worst part about the whole thing is I wasn't even stoned yet! Oh, and to make this story even better… :X It was my last weed! -Tears-

  • soluminia

    when you walk out of your house with a bong in hand and you friends dad looks over and waves to you and you wave back forgetting your holding a bong in your hand

    • Ryke

      EPIC*

  • will

    ummm ya i had over 30 things happen plus more such as literally just fallin face 1st into the floor not being able to move and find out the song u were listenin to ended like 12 songs ago and wen u shake n wen u hear things n ya actually i even halusinated shittin my pants once and evil purple bunnys attacking me….sadly im not makein any of tht up

  • averx

    Or when you make new Firefox tabs for no reason

  • averx

    When you listen to a band’s old album without realizing it’s actually their new one

  • victoriah

    you know your to stoned when your sitting behind a church and you felt fine for like 8 min and then all of a sudden somehow you got on your bike and you think your dreaming and your trying to snap yourself out of it but you keep moving backwards on the bike . then you have to go accross 267 with your friend go home and look at your budd and say "OH MY GOD!! MY MOUTH IS GONE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT!! WHERE DID IT GO !!!" and you spend about 2 hours looking for it then realize your chewing gum . (true story)

  • Richard mc

    you know u are too high when you have no control over your body, u feel like a bobble head

  • eik

    you know you are too stoned when you fall asleep outside the local gas station 10 min from home, while waiting for your mum to pick you up.

  • Jboll

    When you slam doors as loudly as you can for the fun of it.

  • Felix

    When you call a pizza place and the first thing you ask is whether or not they sell pizza.

  • Jon

    You know you’re too stonned when your dad and his friends buy their weed from you.

  • aaaaronn

    when you put a song on and it goes by so fast that you though you just put it on 10 sec ago when its reallly been about 4 minutes and 20 seconds.

  • SPIKESTAR

    U KNO WEN UR TOO STONED WEN U WATCH ONE OF THE INTROS TO THE COSBY SHOW, WHILE LISTENIN’ TO “IT’S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME” AND U THINK “I DIDN’T KNO THIS SONG WAS OUT DURING TH 80′S” PLUS ITS FUNNY AS HELL TO SPEED IT UP…HAPPEND TO ME….4 TIMES

  • Jlee

    One time, me and some friends were smoking from a bong and then somebody dropped a piece of the ashcatcher and it still was smoke in the bong and dude put his mouth on the ashcatcher to get the smoke and tasted a gang of bong water

  • GeorgeoftheGrass

    Aw na, got plenty of stories man and dude does this list take me back to some good times. Probably 90% of that stuff has happened to me, not kidding.

    I’ve eaten an entire pantry

    Went all the way to the grocery store just for cupcakes

    Tried to feed the automatic register cash when I haven’t even pressed any buttons

    Had a really high person cut my hair and both of us gradually scream “oh no!” louder each time there was a mistake and I walk out looking like a five year old cut my hair (had to get it really short)

    Watching spanish drama channel or a children’s program while toking

    I cough and someone hands me a soda can with a cigarette butt in it.. I drink most of it without realizing the butt is in there

    Finding the smallest things amazing (lights, noise makers, toys, cheese sandwich)

    Everything is freaking wonderful

    Slipping on the slip-n-slide and landing hard on your back to the ground (dude that was awesome and funny, I ran for a cool foot surf but slipped right away= fail)

    Laughing at simple stuff like every time you see your friends cat peer into the room or walk around, even that baby talk stuff

    Played an xbox for the first time and without realizing it think I was the top screen player winning while my player is running into a wall and getting killed (somethings are too good to be true)

    Magic will blow your mind, sometimes scare you or confuse you (and clowns)

    You’d eat the melted chocolate bar in your pocket and offer some to your pals, they look at you like “wtf?!?”… man I was starving

    You’d find a skittle on the ground and eat it

    I was sent off to fetch water for a gravity bong, see a figure running towards you on the path, think it is a cop or something so you jump into the bushes

    You find unique ways to do things with comfort- use toes and feet to get things or have someone else do them

    All you listen to is happy tunes

    It takes you forever to order at a Dennys

    You get pissed that your ipod doesn’t work when it is off and it happens on more than a regular basis

    You think you have the super ability to run or swim fast when you’re barely even moving, you’ll be walking but it seems as though you’re traveling faster than cheetahs

    When you smoke a cigarette you’re sleeve starts to burn (or your hair)

    You spend all your money you earned at work on weed and wonder where that cheque went

    When you search though your clothes on the floor they all smell like weed because you’re too lazy to wash them so you set off to start the day smelling like a Grateful Dead concert and progress towards smelling like ten GD concerts

    You often think your reflection in the mirror is a person (Along with cardboard cutouts of people at malls)

    You don’t remember someone’s name right after they tell you it

    Some friends and I would sing songs like Bohemian Rhapsody and All Together Now at a really random time

    You talk loud even though it is quite and don’t realize it

    You mistake fake fruit for real fruit

    You pass the joint to the cat

    A dog licks your leg and you don’t realize it

    You run into trees, fire hydrants, everything

    You can button up a shirt inside out

    You forget you just cooked pizza rolls in a microwave three hours ago

    When doing homework I find the right answer but write down something completely different, my logic was also terrible

    You lose your lighter, find it, lose your cigarette in the process of finding the lighter, find the lighter but lost the cigarette again, find the cigarette and go out for a smoke, reach in your pocket and realize that you had your lighter the entire time and took someone else’s

    You go to take a leak but soon realize you left the door open and people see you

    You place the keys in the ignition but notice that you don’t have the keys in your hand

    You spend a considerable amount of time using the wrong key to open your front door

    Put on a hat covered in bong water

    When you talk to a girl with a rack you sometimes just drift your attention to their cleavage and try to be as inconspicuous about it as possible but clearly you aren’t

    You pass your cigarette instead of the joint

    You look for your shoe and it’s somewhere really random like a bookshelf (put your shoes on the wrong foot and you’re so lazy you don’t want to do anything about it)

    You make up words in almost every sentence (I also make simple words and phases more complex like instead of crucifix it would be “jesus cross”, lighter to “fire thing”, don’t have the best examples here but you get the point)

    You are easily fooled and swayed (perfect example is trusting someone high to cut your hair)

    Well, that’s about as much I can remember for now out of all good times… man there were some good times and still are

    • http://www.hailmaryjane.com/members/admin-2/ Lenny

      Sick list

  • mean_salad

    when the last thing you remember is taking 2 hits out of the GT and an hr latter realizing is the middle of the night and you're standing in the front yard, bare footed.

  • mrs.smith

    You know your too stoned when you get your dog high and then freak out because you think you got him too high!

  • blahdlk

    you know you are too stoned when your english teacher tells you "say no to drugs" haha

  • Persona

    When you eat peanut butter by itself with a spoon.

  • http://www.myspace.com/spiritshowdown Fighting Spirit

    there are all these plates in your room… but no crumbs. :D

  • TMb

    When you say "i can feel my brain"
    Lmao
    I do that all the time.

    Or when you are smoking between three people and you have a bong and a bubbler going around.

    Or when a cat jumps straight at you because it thought the couch was bigger when it was high to because you were hot boxing the whole trailer.

  • Stoned Every day guy

    When you come home with 3 lighters in your pocket, but you left with none…still searching for lighter to burn the rest of the joint… We make agreement that we meet in half an hour on another location after lunch, you finish your lunch and come back to the same place you was, wondering where is everybody… still you stay there till first phone call with dude on other side yelling “Where the fuck are you?!”…

  • demitri

    this one time i burned my eyebrow and didnt notice at first, but when i looked in the mirror and noticed half my eyebrow has dissappeared i googled cancer for about an hour lol.i figured it out after a nap and a bag of flamin hot cheetos

  • gabemac

    #1 You know you are too high when you can’t read out the jokes.

  • yungleeeeezy

    When you put something in the microwave,forget about it, and go sit down and freak the fuck out when it beeps and convince yourself that the house is haunted.

  • Jay

    you're too high when you think the shadow of your head looks like a dick.

  • melissa

    when you race your friends in the park and think your winning but come to find out they've been waiting for a long time at the end for you.

  • melissa

    yu know your too stoned when you suck the raoch down your throat or…. forget that you have to pass the blunt o….r when u jus start staering at people and laughing your ass off when they look back… or when your falling asleep while tring to walk down the street

  • Dean

    you know your too stoned when your at a corner store and finally after walking around the store 3 times and taking an hour to pull out your wallet, you try to purchase 10 bags of doritos with half a bag of weed true story
    (smh):S

  • http://fb ricky chand

    When by the time you read this you forget half the things on top..

    Make a group on facebook for all the people commenting..

  • Need4Weed

    u feel like you are in place where u never bin..but u are in ur room

    start to sing song, from any word that you tell

    stare at sumthing like carpet and see a movie there

  • 420rabbit

    when you stone just before you have a test to write.. i did it today actually.. Lol..

  • http://www.myspace.com/jessikuhh_fosho Jessica

    ok so i realllyyyyy dislike bush, but this man is hilarious. i could listen to him all day, no joke.

  • I SMOKE POT

    -When your calling someone but while its ringing you forget who your calling
    -When a drink cant cure your cottonmouth
    -When you go to blow a shotgun and burn your lips
    -When u forget the bowl has a shot gun and u wonder why its not hitting
    -When ur turning left at an intersection and think u have the right of way
    -When ur too lazy to pee so u hold it till u almost pee urself
    -When u try to relight a blunt and the flame is nowhere near the end of the blunt
    -When u freak out from seeing a taxi or pizza guy cuz u think its a cop
    -When u wonder why ur leg hurts and u realize u dropped the blunt on ur leg
    -When bud get in ur mouth from the blunt u swallow it
    -When u forget if u hit it twice or not
    -When ur too lazy to bend down to tie ur shoe
    -When u spending the rest of ur money to get even higher
    -When u think a lighter is out of fluid but u where just trying to use it upside down
    -When u can write this many things about being too stoned

  • Pat

    You know your too stones when you spend an hour arguing the most ridiculous ideas, like that puppies are a new breed of dog. We were all too baked because I won.

  • americanimengel

    when after an hour of driving around the same 3-4 block radius of your dealers house, trying to get home, you have to stop across the street in a parking lot and manually change every sentence on the google maps printout in order to understand how to get home… true story…

    i.e. from Main st. turn left on to SR 700 = from SR 700, turn right onto Main st.

    lol^_^

  • http://youtube.com/videosforstones Secret Stoner

    LOL really funny one right here,
    You know your too stoned when ur smoking a pipe and blow instead of suck hahahha happens all the time!
    Youtube.com/videosforstones

  • Riddlez

    you know you smoked to much when you start throwing up @_@ But you keep on smoking after.

  • Toooooooo

    You know you are too stoned when you go into your political science exam and you laugh at everything. I mean *everything*, Rwandan genocide, Israel/Palestine… Writing time was roughly 1 1/2 hours so I stopped giggling by the end. But I was still high enough to be very creative in my essay part. Weed enables me to write good essays.

  • abe

    you know when you're too stoned when your friends tell you to pack a bowl & you forget
    that you have the piece so you're talking for like 20 min then your friends will tell
    you "pack the bowl dudee" then your like "oh yeahh" hahaha

  • matt

    you know when you are to high when you get hypnotized by your friend.

  • tina

    loll you know your too stoned when your friend tells you to turn up the music and you feel as if they just asked you to perform brain surgery on them. So you pick up the ipod and just stare at it really confused and then you poke it and wonder why its not turning up the volume and your friend just laughs at you telling you your soo stoned.

    You know your too stoned when you slap your face and you can't feel anything
    you know your too stoned when you can't tell if life is real or not
    you know your too stoned when you pass out as soon as the movie starts and can't remember what movie you were watching in the first place
    you know your too stoned when you start putting in eye drops every second for an hour because your really paranoid and think your eyes are still red.

  • zach

    you know your way to stoned when it takes 10 minutes to realize the caps still on the eye drops

  • G(anja)-force

    When you think you just swallowed ur tongue nd force puke to take it to someone who l sew it back for you.

  • Sophieeee

    When your sneeze scares the shit out of you and when you put your eye drops in somewhere near your mouth.

  • shahnaz

    when your right butt cheek is cramping, like right now.
    also when it takes you all day to type up a comment

  • Ian

    You know your too stoned when ur sitting with ur sister watching the Office and Creed says something and you say something about him but you forgot what you said and ur just hoping it made sense and that ur sister sister can’t tell.

  • Ian

    You know your too high when you wake up mid-sentence while sleeptalking

  • Ironlung

    ROFL i stoped at #54 to go get some food came back and then nearly pissed myself at #57

  • casuallyidyllic

    When you stay in your homecoming dress for three days, all the while meandering around town barefoot only to remember your friend's dad sent you on a mission to buy him some bud, then return and sell your pipe to said dad.

  • jugalette

    when you actually realise that ur watching ppl acting on tv, and think about all the cameras and shit… and then try to do a better job than them

  • juggalette

    when u put on trippy kids shows for like 2 year olds and listen to hard rap…. haha them bitches be crazy!!!

  • Bruce

    I swear to god one time I was stoned out of my mind. And I had to pick up my sister, and I was scared she was gonna smell it on me. But she was drunk. So we went to white castles. hahahahahhahahaha

  • 72 72

    You know your too stoned when you break a guitar string, go all the way back to your house to get a spare, then end up not finding it (but take the time to get a snack anyways), go back to your friends house and then find the string you were looking for only to realize you needed a different one the whole damn time

  • FucktheDEA

    When someone gives you a mentos sweet, and you stash it in your stash pocket knowing that you’ll be hungry later, walk into a gig and the security guy searches and asks you what it is, you say just a sweet, and laugh far more than necessary for someone with just a sweet on them…

  • Ghandi Skywalker

    You know your too stoned, when you wonder why you cant copy and paste something on this list, from your computer to your phone to share it with your friend!

  • Double D

    How about when you’re so high that you have to give yourself a mental motivational talk just to stand up. I was BAKED that day lol

  • tyler

    well being uberly stoned i answered a freinds question looked back and started reading and realized that now i have to read the list backwards merry christmas(i forgot it was christmas untill i realized i was in my new comp chair)

  • Kiwi

    I have done 45 out of 77 on this list LMAO

  • MoonBeam

    When you find a seed burn on the back of your shirt.

  • Chase

    Your to high when your walking down the street listening to your jeans swoosh so u decide to make a song to the beat of ur jeans.

  • Mario

    i was too high and kept putting the bowl ( from the bong) in the top hole.. and coudnt figure out why i couldnt geta hit

  • Baking Girl

    When you use Icy Hot as lube cause you think it's going to be a pleasurable experience… Then start freaking out cause you think you accidentally set your vagina on fire. Then start laughing at how stupid you are to have set your vagina on fire.

  • artificial-demon

    When you smoke in a apartment and are scared someone will smell it and rat you out
    So you think turning up the volume of the tv will block out the smell…

  • Bubbles

    Pretty good list… These are some of the things I've done that haven't been listed… Probably because I'm the only one that does them.

    # You're too stoned when you realize you've been laughing at everyone else's laughter for the last ten minutes and nobody is laughing anymore. …Or, THEY realize you've been laughing for ten minutes and start laughing at you because you haven't figured it out yet.

    # When you speak and someone yells down from upstairs, "Wow, that's the first thing you've said in like two hours." and you feel like they must be mistaken.

    # When you periodically remember something you've been meaning to say for like two hours and then finally say it, once it has become completely trivial… Haha.

    # When a trip to Taco Bell seems overwhelming.

    # When you trust somebody else to drive your car to Taco Bell drive-thru and once you're in the car you have no idea how you got there or where you're going. -And once you get to Taco Bell, you have no idea how you got there or where you're going. -And once you get home, you have no idea you just went to Taco Bell, or why you were even outside just a minute ago.

    # You're convinced everyone would have the same kind of spiritual experience as you, if they would all just listen to music instead of watching tv, but then it's totally okay because you like American Dad.

    # You're scared of what might happen if you smoke more.

    # You're singing along to music that's not really playing… but you can hear it.

    # You go outside and smoke a cigarette. …And then you go back outside …and smoke a cigarette.

    # You realize you have cottonmouth and somehow that turns into worrying that you're going to be constipated.

    # You're pretty convinced everyone can hear what you're thinking… and then your mind starts spitting out really dirty thoughts that you would never share with anyone and you panic, thinking everyone knows how much of a freak you are.

    # You feel like you're being sucked into a black hole.

    …I'm sure there's more.

  • Bubbles

    # When you're still reading these comments an hour after you're done reading the list.

    # When you have to tell yourself to stop being lazy when you have to pee but you don't want to get up.

    # When you think about bubbles and ten minutes later hear yourself going, "blub blub blub blub blub" in your head and it becomes annoying, but you can't stop it.

    # When you suddenly understand the words to music that you weren't able to understand sober, ever, no matter how hard you tried.

    # When you find really obscure shit to make bongs out of, even though you have a perfectly good glass piece that already got your ass this high.

    # When you suddenly notice everything of the same color in a room.

    # When you're convinced you peed your pants, for some reason, but you really didn't. …Or conversely, when you really did pee your pants and you're trying to convince yourself you didn't because you've had this feeling before.

    # When listening to Pink Floyd makes everything better. (IMO, that's always, but it's even better when you're high.)

    # When you have an awesome time at the movies, but someone asks you what you saw three hours later and you can't remember.

    # You think there's a ghost outside because you saw your reflection in the back door.

    # You go to the bathroom… for like 20 minutes.

    # You wish to sit upside-down, but can't figure out how to make that happen upon discovering your legs no longer have any willful mobility left in them.

    # You wake up and discover you've been in the fridge at someone else's house, without asking them, and realize you consumed about two cups of mashed potatoes covered with cheese and ketchup. …And it was the most delicious thing you've ever eaten.

    # You're still posting comments on here, two hours after you originally viewed the page.

  • sarah

    when your boyfriend has to write a one paragraph discussion response on your online college class…….and it's the first assignment of the semester. haha

  • MARK

    WHEN U START SEEING DOUBLE LOL
    OR WHEN U CATCH A PANIC ATTACK

  • beastive stoner !

    you know your stoned when u see a chicken hittin off the bong instead of your friend

  • Stonerbastard

    When you make a mistake and say "Genuine stoner mistake"

  • Whaaaaat

    I don't touch non' that crazy weed.
    I stay on safe drugs like meth.

  • Joe

    When you forgot that you are holding in your breathe after breathing in, because someone told you it helps with the effect of being high, and or you are laughing at the possibility of the spider on the grass biting your friend, but you don't move because your laughing too much.

  • Abe

    When you think your talking to a higher power…

  • Abe

    When your making "top secret words"…

  • Abe

    When you start reading blogs about people being stoned…

  • Abe

    When you shorten words like "up" and "to"…

  • Abe

    When you cant stop flipping the blanket…

  • Abe

    When you start saying things you think "Neo" would say

  • Abe

    When your repeating lines the "cool" guys are saying in the movie…

  • sgsdadf

    when you're supposidly watching tv, but you re staring at the wall for 30 min, until u remember the tv is on.
    when you can feel you re brain sliding inside your head, and you start turning your head, and feel it wanting to come out your ears or pressing against your eyes.
    or when you can SEE music (best one ever )

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  • dea7

    when u get a text and u read it 5 times till u understand it, and when u have to reply a simple text and u write and erase all the time and end up not replying the text!

  • george

    you can feel the imaginary joint you decided to smoke when you've run out of gear
    you actually eat cheese, covered in honey, dipped in ground coffee beans or the instant stuff because you think it might actually taste nice

  • Jordan

    Lol I forget what I’m talking about mid sentence when I’m stoned all the time

  • guest

    u can not remember the stuff that just happened but you know it was funny

  • guest

    if you lit a cigarette backwards before and went to show someone to like you were doing that again but like a joke but your were goofed on something and the cigarette was already lit yyyyeeeaaahhhh

  • guest

    your bummed cause the scooby on TV ate all the scooby snacks and your reeaaalllyy hungry

  • guest

    if you started reading this but stopped because you got high again

  • Danni

    nothing seems like a bad idea and you end up with hands down your bra that aren't your own
    AND you do things even when they seem like a bad idea just because you can
    and anything, i mean ANYTHING is funny

    - you can feel the earth spinning on it's axis and orbiting the sun
    - you lie in the cold on the grass and don't move to warm up because moving is effort

  • Alyssa

    My boyfriend was texting me and I couldn’t figure ou how to text back and I put I set my hair on fire and sent it because I thought it was funny and he said who is this and scared the shit out of me so I just sat down and listened to music which is pretty awesome

  • Gabriel

    #65 happenes to me all the time!!!!! But I spend like 30 min trying to remember what I was wathing even tho it came back on.

  • guest

    if you had to fart then squeezed hard and ended up poopin' your pants

  • guest

    when just about anything can become a bong or a song or a song about a bong

  • Aragawa

    When you forget your friends name so you decide to invent native American names so you can learn his new name and not feel like a moron…. And when you think your apartment moved to the beach 200miles away, only to realize it didn’t and that you typed all of this. Haha retards!

  • snack maker

    *) when you search google for " Asian men facial hair" or " how is fertilizer sterilized?" to back up a silly argument.
    *) when you can't recognize the streets on your way to a friends house ( though u've been there a thousand times) and still make it there..
    *) when you feel a need to do a certain movement and try convincing everyone to do it..

    • sasa

      -when ppl you don't hang out with often start changing into a different person ( this is the mother of all high to me )

  • Mr. Spaceman420

    you know you're waaayyyy to high when you start smoking a cigarette only to realize 10 minutes later that you just smoked half the filter

  • Alex

    you know when you're stoned when you think there's cotton in your mouth and you read threw all 77 posts on this..

  • guest

    when you start calling things that aren't real (like a frisbee) dude

  • guest

    when a non french speaking canadian is talking to you and it seems like their talking in a whole nother language then english

  • Don

    you know your stoned when sitting down you cross your legs in weird ways you usually don't

  • THC Hero

    *After smoking* when you constantly lose at least one of your important things that you usually keep in your pockets (hoodie and all four pant pockets) wallet, lighter, keys, ipod, phone, glasses and you go through start seaching through all of them telling yourself i just had it!! and after 15 minutes you find it sitting right near you and Now you cant find your lighter to keep toking FML!! lol

  • RANGER

    -when you go to the nearest convience store and forget why your there by the time you get there..trust me, it happend lol

  • Rastaman

    Turn down the TV/Tunes to better taste your munchies :)

  • Rob

    You think it’s a good idea to re-enact a scene from Dumb & Dumber and light your fart on fire only to light your boxer briefs on fire and have to strip naked from the waist down to avoid having your pubes combust as well. Then forgetting your ass naked in front of everyone for the next 10 minutes.

  • Daniel

    I hate when you go to the fridge to get some munchies and have either the tv remote or cell phone in your hand. You start getting your food and realize that you need an extra hand to get all of the snacks. You sit down and realize that something awful is on tv and you can’t find the remote anywhere so you just turn off the tv manually and go to sleep. The next day you find the remote in the fridge when you are getting milk for breakfast.

  • Pingback: 77 Ways to Know That You Are Way Too Stoned « valetudocafe

  • nikertine

    when you say a word so many times it loses all meaning.

  • Lupuz

    while you drink a glass of soda you realize after the 5th glass that you only drank 1

  • Matt

    When you feel enabled to eat 20 more chicken nuggets after you already ate 60.

  • John

    When you are about to take a hit from a bowl an you laugh and it falls out.
    When you focus really hard.
    or when you eat so much it feels like your stomach is being pulled down by all the food you ate.

  • ganjagirl

    - when you're driving in the pouring rain and you've convinced yourself that your car is going to just fucking launch into the air once it hits the next puddle.

  • ama

    you know you're too stoned when you look at pictures of buds online longingly even though you just bought an ounce.

  • spaceman

    You know your stoned, when you realize that your talking to your computer about a song. ; )

  • carlo

    How about wearing your girl friend’s t shirt on your way home. BTW it had a print of a kitten in front. and the t shirt was pink.

  • sXs

    You know you're too stoned when you drive to Jack In The Box and the cashier laughs as soon as you start ordering, making you drive away immediately. Then you drive to the next city to go to McDonalds and your friend tells you, "Why didn't we go to the one by my house?"

  • tokechick2011

    you know you are high when you smoke a bowl and get on google and type in how to tell when you are high and find this website

    • YEAH BUDDY!!!

      And that would be exactly how I got here… LOL

  • bipolarhamster

    You know you're too stoned.. when you put weed in your sock in case you get pulled over on the way home from a friends place.. Then when arriving home, you search your car for 10-15 minutes wondering where you stashed your bag. (happened last week.)

  • Matthew

    You know your too high when you read this laughing at everything you have done! lol and reading the best ones TWICE!

  • http://nessiixxb.tumblr.com doryKush

    when you roll 5 big blunts, smoke 3, then forget you smoked them and spend an hour looking for them.
    happened to me and my friends this summer. lol.

  • sochasmash42

    You forget what you were reading about and going down the numbers reading and laughing

  • woah

    your too stoned when you have a mini heart attack when your phone rings
    your too stoned when your brother comes in the room and you call him mom (true story)
    your too stoned when you eat something and then while chewing you forgot what you ate
    your too stoned when you replace every "r" with a "w" (just happened)
    your too stoned when your trying to decide on which chair would be best to sit on
    your too stoned when your trying to make a joke but it ends up you were just talking about your day
    your tooo motherfucking stoned when it hurts to smile, cry everytime you laugh, and stumble on every bigg word you were trying to say … and then say i give up.
    your too stoned when you put woah as your name

  • danny

    your tooo stoned when you walk like a little british princess

  • shawnnnnnnn

    i got fucking baked outa my mind the other day and i started calling up evryone in my contacts jst to tell them i was stoaned and thn i somehow got to lincion and i was walking rite in the middle of ythe highway and i sware i saw a truck smileing and humping another carO.Othts when i got scred and ran to mcdonalds and got fries and tried to pay with afganistan money and whr did tht chair come fromO.O

  • renee

    you’re too stoned when you decide a door to door salesman is trying to break into your house and you and your friend go on an epic journey to flag down a police officer to tell him about the supposed crook. good times, good times :)

  • Mike

    Hahaha great list pretty much done about all of them xP

    Good ones to add (I have done all of these):
    -Got stoned and went to a friends house and woke up the next morning and freaked out because you didnt know where you were at.
    -You finish smoking and when you come down off your high you forgot where you put all your supplies.
    -You call around looking for people to smoke with and you try to get up with your parents. (Very bad outcome if your parents are anti-drug)
    -You text the wrong people the wrong thing.
    -When you stand up and you can clearly hear your heartbeat in your head.
    -When you go to a store like spencers and even they say you are way too high.
    -You think your food is gum and wonder why the texture is like shit after a few minutes.
    -Trying to drive home out of a pool with your boxers still on because you forgot to finish changing.
    -and finally. when you go to a head shop stoned trying to look for a new device to smoke more out of.

  • This_IS_My_LameName

    you know ur too stoned when you ask your homie/dealer to sell you a hooked up dime of mango kush for $8.50… and then trip out when it looks like a dub {true storie}

  • stoner808

    You kow when your a stoner when you start doing these king of things when your not even stoned

  • korndawg420

    you know ur too stoned when after 20 minutes u realize u are sitting in your room and everything looks familiar,look down to see if you still have legs and a body,realize that the music stopped 10 minutes ago but it’s too much of an epic maneuver to start it back up again waiting for the jedi mind hold on your arm to release to turn it back on,and “holy mother****ing bull**** being the most epic and profound thing anyone has said,and realizing you just made profound history with 3 words to describe an out of body experience,then holding your ciggarette in your mouth for 10 minutes before finding the courage to pick your lighter up to light it…true story,from one steamroller blast

  • Luke

    When you play Left 4 Dead 2 on easy (so you don’t die as easy) and look at every square inch of each map

  • pam`o`so high

    :D

    • pam`0`so high

      yea i got caught.by my friends mom, i didn't even have time to put it out . i just froze an all i could think to say was (you wont to hit this) to my surprise she looked a rounded then took it out my hand. and wail she was hitting it she told me don't say a thing about her smoking to my friend………..now 5 years later i still go by and smoke with her oh an my friend still don't no her moms a pothead like me. haaaa (she got some good shit)

  • FooddArtist7991

    You know youre too stoned when you get your pets high juss like you are and have a spiitual journey with them listening to Comfortably Numb….petting the hell out of them and the think theyre getting scared and stop….haha!

  • stonadave

    When you put a lit cigg in your ear to hit the bowl and you can’t figure out why the hell the side of your head is stinging and you start smacking the side of your head because you think its some kind of crazy insect biting or stabbin you and the cigg flies off and you just look at it like “oh yeahh” and proceed to hit the bowl and then look at your friend and start crackin up because of what you just dodid and thwey make fun of you for bein an idiot and. How your missin a small patch of hair near your ear….or another is when you are listening to someone talk and shake your head in agreement and say ” yup,mhmm,yeah ,etc etc” then when they are done your just like “uhh wait what”? Or you agree with something you wouldn’t agree with just because you have no idea what the person is sayin and they are like “whaat you reaally agree with that?” And ohhh soo much more I’m sure I could think of atleaats another 77 more haha

  • Trezzi

    You know you're too stoned when you live with your dealer, and walking across the living room to get more pot seems like "Eragon's Epic Adventures."

  • ZsM94

    u know your too high wen u close your eyes and think your falling . but dont open your eyes cuz they way 1000 lbz – wen u go to light a cigarette and the lighter never seems to reach the end of the Stoag – wen u try to sit down . and 30 minutes later u wonder how the hell u got on the ground . when there is a chair 2 feet from u – when u expect the bowl to light itself lol . not from personal experience or anything lol

  • swagmeout

    number 57 for the win, and there are a LOT of pandsy ass kids in hurr

  • gonzo

    lol……..when you get excited over beating your dog at a staring contest……lol……fuck yeah….been there ….done that…lol….great post

  • BillyBong

    The taco bell guy knows me by name and even gives me free food once in a while rofl.

  • Roxie

    WHEN NOTHING IS IN ENGLISH!

  • shake n bake

    your too stoned when you & your friend decide to roll a L with chicken strips so you dont get the munchies lol (adds flavor]

  • sananicole

    When you sit there for an hour trying to get your lighter to work.
    Or when authority asks if you smoked marijuanna today and you respond with
    "what are you talking about"
    Or when you and your friends pass around a bong and finally realize that it has been three hours and nobody has said one word.
    Or when you're laying on the floor and you dont know how you got there but it feels like you're on a cloud.
    Or when you look in your kitchen and all the food you stocked up on is gone.
    Or when you're laughing with your friends for so long that you forget what you're laughing at so you just keep laughing cause you realized how fcked up everyone is.
    Or when you're eating with your eyes shut.
    Or when you could keep going on forever with this list but you're to fcked up to type anymore.

  • sananicole

    When you're reading these and put a thumbs up to every single one of them

  • sananicole

    When your cigarette lights itself.

  • sananicole

    When you're laughin so much you start choking.

  • holland1993

    ending up at home while you were supposed to go somewhere else

  • AScreenname

    I blazed two days ago and everything was like..black and white like those illusion things. and i kept falling and passing out in the dirt.. but then i laughed by myself while my other friends laughed at me…

  • Erclicious

    When you and 5 other guys start canoeing back to the dock, only to find out 5 minutes later that you didn’t pull up the anchor.

  • aaron

    u know ur 2 high when u cloes ur eyes and freek out becaus u cant see true

  • Deven

    you know your stoned when you jump over shit that isn't really there

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  • Deven

    This list made me laugh so fuckin hard, i bet i'll piss myself when i read it baked.

  • chido

    you know your too stoned wen ur "listening" to ur ipod nd 10 minutes later u notice its off

  • I'm way too baked

    You know when you're too stoned cause you keep going to sip your drink that you finished 20 minutes ago…

  • not me

    @21 That's called being on lsd :)

  • yo's

    your too high when you are up at three in the morning playing starcraft and you don't want to wake the neighbors with the noise so you turn down the brightness on your monitor. true story

  • YEAH BUDDY!!!

    You know you're too stoned when you're looking through Netflix for a while for the perfect comedy, find it, put it on, and end up turning it off because it didn't make you laugh; even though you have only been watching for 10 minutes. Story of my life..

  • Annie

    your waiting in the middle of the intersection waiting to make a left turn, when you notice the your light has turned red and the other cars are already making their left turns around you

  • jake smokes alot

    when you have a really big bag of dead lightters that all have brunt bottoms and you cant bring your self to throw away

  • http://www.alivesinceforever.com Sage

    when you can't feel your face so you just rub it like there's face cream or something in your hands. lord

  • Elva

    when you start asking people wheres the blunt is and its in your hand..lit

  • Elva

    when you spark the blunt and hit it from the lit part burning the shit out of your mouth..yea sadly happened a couple times

  • shane

    haha i smoke so much i do this shit while sober

  • bryan

    when you dont remember smoking

  • Kas

    When you realise you've been rubbing the walls for about 10 minutes or that you just embarrassed youself by going to the corner shop, having a dilema over which crisps to buy and end up rubbing the packets on your face. Both true stories xD

  • Julie

    When you spend 10 minutes trying to unlock your friends car and then she tells you you've been using the wrong key.

  • GreyClowds

    You know youre blasted when you think of something that makes the most logical sense about life and you just lose it mid-thought…story of my fuckin life

  • guest

    someone called it was the wrong #, but we talked for like ever…wait I was drunk this is a site for stoners…sorry

  • Nick

    ive done more than half of this lmfao, Everytime I smoke weed it seems like I get too high.

  • Ian224

    When your friend can’t stop annoyingly laughing for literally 3 hours straight at absolutely nothing.

    When you take a huge hit from a bong and have to check if you jizzed your pants (true story)

  • BurhaHelm

    Its (.. heh heh heh ..) when (.. hih hih hih hih hih ..) (mmm ..) you (.. hah hah hah hah hah hah hah haha … hoh hoh hoh) .. mmmmm (.. heh heh …) mmmmm … where was I. mmmm .. what am I doing here.

  • alexander

    you realize that you are talking to lenny right…..the creator of hmj…..obviously he knows weed is good for the soul for gods sake the man is a legend!

  • Rachel

    When you look at a window for 30min straight, telling your friends what you see, when nothing is there. LOl. (True Story) :)

  • Gerwin

    when you try to leave the house but had to go back in 6 times to individually retrieve your wallet, cell phone, lighter, keys, drink, and hat that you remembered to bring, one at a time – i have that all the time!

  • juanitobanana

    number 65 hahaha thats fuckin true!

  • annnnnnnon

    you know youre stoned when you sit in your car in the parking lot of a Circle K for an hour debating whether or not you should go in and end up deciding to go swing at the park instead

  • 420:D

    When the cops ask u a question nd u just giggle and turn and walk the other way:}

  • Tifani

    You know you're too high when you are laying down panicking because you can't remember how to get up and walk

  • Andy

    When you hear a bell and instinctively think an Amsterdam tram is about to crush you, but you're really back in the UK and the bell never really happened either. One day I'll die over there!

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  • Nordicbud

    You know your stoned when you pass out, and you dream your dying and cant breath, and you wake up not able to breath and you see something leaves your body

  • nowayinnorway

    when rolling the greens in 2x bat wings from an old bat rolled in a x-joint and waking up remember nothing and find noone of your fella-smokers :P haha what a journey..

  • http://fruittalk.rateitstar.com lol

    When you light your lighter with a blunt, and think is alight.

  • BongBoy

    You're too stoned when you're cat is so baked that he eats 3 bowls of cat food in n hour lol :)

  • Sir_SMokes'A'_Bit

    You know your too stoned when you get excited because you've reached level 2 on the microwave and want to get bonus points before reaching level 3 (True Story).

  • SiR_Smokes"a"Bit

    *When you can't remeber your "yestergo's" lol

  • Sir_Smokes'A'Bit_

    *When you've been trying to text for the past 20mins and just realized you were holding your Game Boy…

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  • Nota Reelnom

    I once created my own religon about dinosaurs and Spuds MacKenzie. Didn't get much past that.

  • RowJimmy

    Several years ago after getting totally blitzed, I was walking home and lit a cigarette. At some point just after lighting it, I put it on my ear and continued walking. I then asked my friend who I was walking with for a cigarette. It was dark and when I turned my head he saw the glowing cherry of my first one and saved me just in the nick of time from a bad situation.

  • Tone

    When you see Mufasa in the sky just like Simba did…..and when you can hear Pokemon battle music everywhere you go

  • Donovan

    Number 26, could not find my lighter! Told my boi i was gonna kick his ass if he didnt give me my lighter and it was in my hand the whole time

  • http://www.gmail.com Daquirri Halverson

    When you wont let anyone smell your weed because you think they will smoke it without you.

    When you go to Dairy Queen every night right before closing to get ice cream.

    When you party with 20 Indians and realize you are the only white person there but its still all your weed everyone is smoking.

    When a random Indian you were just smoking pot with takes you to McDonalds and MAKES you eat ice cream and three extra bacon cheese burgers that he is to full to eat.

    When your best friend passes out on you at a pot party where you don’t know anyone but you keep smoking so that you have something to yell at her for the next morning.

    When your laugh changes from really low to a power puff chuckle.

    When you and your friends get stoned in your bathroom, one of your friends walks out just to walk back in and asks to use your bedroom floor to bone her boyfriend.

    When you are smoking a joint in a car when it burns you so you throw it and it lands in the persons shirt beside you.

  • Kenzy

    You know when your brother is to stoned when he thinks his name is Brain Niles and he starts singing the song im on a boat. He also drools all over the bong and it gets past to me next.

  • Luke

    when walking with friends u reach a corner and everyone stops and say "where are we going?"

  • matthew reyes

    you know your stoned, when you go on the computer ti find out how stoned you are xD

  • CrackHulk

    when you get hungry, walk to the store, but get a pack of gum and get the hell out of there. then the munchies and pasties kick in even more. that's when you should've gotten chips and pop or something, but no. you were too high

  • lololol

    you know your too stoned when you hit your bong without water

  • Rob

    you know your too stoned when your friend starts petting a bird only to realize its dead and he wants to bring it to the hospital but you don't because your afraid its going to turn into a zombie. (Bullshit not)

  • james

    How bout i go to school stond and buy 4bisquets be i got the munchies

  • Shane

    One night I was driving my dude home and stopped at a stop sign for 10 minutes. My dude was wondering what was up and them it hit me I was so stoned that I was waiting for the sign to turn green lol

  • dankshit

    you know your high when your eyes are low and red as fuck and your parents will be home in a little but you don't give a fuck. hahahahaha

  • Fox

    You know ur too stoned when u and ur friends are at Mcdonals. 1 of ur friends tells u to buy 1 large cup and gives u $2. And when u coma back u bring 2 large cups 1 is mixed with Cola and Sprite and the other is Water with Dr pepper.

  • 24/7 4/20

    lol this whole blog cracks me the fuck up, Yesterday i was chillin with some homies and we were just rollin around for about 5 and a half hours while trippin the fuck out. I NEVER knew where the fuck we were. All I knew was that i had gone out too far and wasnt comin back for a while. I have also done practically everything on your list, so mad respect to you man. I have been driving around crossfaded as fuck with a full car, me and my homi are painting a picture and smoking a bowl, while everyone in the back is passing a bong, dont know how long we were doing this, but we did it at a stop sign waitin for it to turn green

  • Strunz

    my friend ate her cat's face. She said it was too fluffy to resist

  • pmpmn

    Hmmm…I've done 54 and 65 when I wasn't stoned but maybe that's because I have ADD and I'm getting on in years….

  • steddymobbin

    WHEN YOUR PERCEPTION OF TIME SPACE AND DEPTH IS SO FAR GONE YOUR BRAIN IS IN A LOOP OF INSANITY GOING 1000 MILES PER HOUR

  • http://Hailmaryjane.com Reef

    Whim u sittin smokin with your friends and your eyes are so low everybody thinks your sleep

  • reggie

    when little things like bouncing a ball in your room to a mate is fun and do it for hours. when you get so stoned that you fall asleep at like 7 and wake up at like 6 in the morning with nothing to do. when you just walk aimlessly until you get really far and cant be bothered to walk back. when your half way through a sentence and your mind goes blank. when your talking to your mate about a total different thing than there talking about. when you make MAD food combinations. when you go to whitey but you have such a dry mouth and throat that nothing comes out. when you totally forget about the mix sitting there in front of you and just start emptying a fag into the cap. when you randomly whack out the tattoo machine and do some ridiculous tattoo. when you start up a massive convo with ya pal about what if zombies invaded or if i won the lottery. LOL TALKING ABOUT BEING HIGH IMMA GO MAKE ME SOME BIG PENG ARSED SANDWHICH, GOOD DAY MY FELLOW POTHEADS SMOKE IT EASAAY!!!

  • midnight toker

    recently I had saved a spicy chicken wrap that I’d bought in a combo but decided to keep for later. My mom put a note on it saying that it was my chicken wrap. I take it outta the fridge and put it into the oven. I blank out for 2 minutes and notice an empty bag with a note in it saying that it was my piece of pumpkin pie (I wasn’t imagining that, my mom had made pumpkin pie the week before). Although I never ate the slice that was reserved for me, somebody (possibly my sister) must have robbed it from me. I then got pissed and feeling quite uninhibited that night, I decided to write on the paper ‘I hope it was good.’ I planned on leaving the paper on the counter for the family to see.

    The part that said it was my pumpkin pie was crossed out and I didn’t make sense of that until I turned it over and saw that on the other side it said it was my chicken wrap. I laughed to myself about it when I realized what I’d done. Needless to say I was pretty damn high

  • Poncho

    When you watch a kids movie and can't stop crying.

  • haze

    Smoked for the first time last night… sat there for an hour wondering if a camel and a llama would do the tango if I asked really really really nicely :) Then I realized that I wasn't looking at a camel or a llama but a porcelain cat and a tube of lipstick! xD Then I looked in the mirror and thought about how I looked like a sexy dragon with smoke coming outa my nose :P Best shit ever!

  • charly bit me

    when u spend 10 minutes trying to put your head phones inside of your ipod

  • AIGEE

    i've done about 60 things on that list lol

  • David

    When you forget to put water in the bong
    lol i did that!

  • chiefin

    when your food starts talking to you like the food on aqua teen hunger force

  • jude

    I know I'm stoned when my next joint keeps fallng off my hand. I can't even light it and smoke, my hands seem to be shaking, then I look up and realize my friends have been laughing at me all along.

  • jax

    You know you are too stoned when your friend says ‘too much is never enough’ and you smoke again.

    When you were supposed to pass the bowl five minutes ago and your friend says, ‘dude pass the bowl’ you stare at it for a good minute and just look at him and say ‘its difficult’

  • Chris

    I laughed so hard while reading #25

  • Dreamer

    When ur feeling to high to type and u havent even started hittn tha pipe. Haha oh theres my first hit and im off to another world! Goodbye people!!

  • Denise

    When you go to the restroom to look at the mirror for a few seconds and it actually turns out to be over 30 minutes.

  • nick

    when you forget to pull up to the 2nd window at mcdonalds for almost 5 minutes

  • stop

    weed doesn't need to be mixed with cigarettes. they make it toxic & addictive. 10 years ago I stopped using cigarettes and at 40 my chest feels healthier than ever!

  • HAM420

    When you ask your teacher if you look high

  • John

    You know you’re too stoned when you almost choke on food that you believe is 6 months old.

    You know you’re too stoned when you fall asleep giving the lady at taco bell your order.

  • Daniel

    When you are sitting on the couch watching televsion then realise you are somehow sitting on a different couch to the one you were sitting on a few minutes ago.

  • Kevin Marley

    When youve been playing a video game constantly for the past week (I was on house arrest) and then you get so stoned that every time you close your eyes you are ABSOLUTELY convinced you are playing the game. For me it was fallout new Vegas. I swear to god my stoner brain came up with a new dlc for it.

  • someone somthing

    i didn’t know my name , then i went to balcony and started singing Lady GaGa bad romance although i didn’t know the lyrics

  • wow weed

    when you staring into bottle of energy drink in a refrigerator for bottles at some shop at the street for like a 10 min or more and suddenly you realize that the shop is closed and the refrigerator is closed too with locks :O

  • Mike

    When you see a movie and feel like its been days when itss been only 5 minutes

  • http://runescape.com blake is sexy

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  • D3EM

    Hello everyone ! It’s now 23:05 and tomorrow i will hit my glass pipe with some good Sour Diesel ! So i’ll trying not to get high, not to get stoned, but i’ll trying to get nuked by weed :) It’s will probably be awesome ( or not ). I will post my experience after being nuked. I will also say to my brother to film me to see what i’m doing !! Like some fucking crazy stuff……… And i will watch a comedie movie, and i will see if i fall asleep or if i will be killed by laughing. I’ve got now almost 8g of weed and i will hit this ALONE !!! MOUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA !!! I’m making a new website with my friends because we are [TheStonersThree] so when i finish it i will post the link here. I will also say to my brother to print all that list before getting high and see what i’m going to do on it. So goodbye all stoners ! Never stop weed ! Weed&Hash 4 life ! Breathe all the life you can breathe ! I’m D3EM from [TheStonersThree].

  • Mike

    When you set your microwave on fire trying to cook Ramon noodles for 20 min with no water when you got the munches

  • ash

    HOW COOL IS MY PACMAN SHIRT (TRUE STORY)

  • Toker

    When your in court and you start to get the giggles. Very bad experience.

  • http://www.glassblownpipes.net Tom Dwight

    Haha I like how I always catch myself staring at random things when Im high. It can be anything from watching cars passing by my window to birds outside. Weed is great

  • Justin

    When you’re in taco bells drive thru with your friends and you don’t respond when they ask what you want, then 5 minutes later you realize you don’t have any food and you get pissed that no one ordered what you wanted

  • Tom

    When you quickly find something to eat while the microwave is on

  • div

    when you talk like you are from another planet and your friends laugh at you. 2 seconds later you wonder why they wont stop laugh

  • Xiled Toker

    When you come back inside from the garage and the doorknob dissapperared but then you realize the doorknob is on the other side of the door.

  • Joel ostrom

    my best friend lived next door to our principal and one day he was mowing his lawn and we were smoking a bong in his room, the houses wefe literally like 10 feet apart and just as he was passing the window i blew a massive rip out the window and it went right into his face and he saw me holding a huge bong with really red eyes and coughing my lungs out. and another time my buddy was really really stoned and he thought itd be a good idea to take a shit in his mailbox..

  • Dajohn

    You know you' re stoned when you' re driving and you freak out because you can't find your seat belt and its already fastened.

  • cindy

    U know ur stoned when u tell your friend that you living 3 pages at once! U knw ur stoned when you start typing an sms to someone and then just stop and after and hour. You freak out that, that person is not replying to u, u chek ur phone to realise that you didn’t finish ur text.. U know ur stoned when u ask. Ur frnd how the waiter got to the other side of the table.. (And this hapen 15min ago). Know ur stoned wen u realise that u cannot say 1 propper word with out rolling ur tongue or mumbelling! U know ur stoned when u try to get up to get some coke or just to use the toilet,, and as u get up u cannot straighten ur legs all the way.. And u have to really concentrate holding the 2L bottle of coke with boths hands so u don’t drop it! Wen u sooo chilled that u leaning on ur friend 4 over 20min and wen she begs u 2 get off u realise that u hav absolute no strengh to do that! Hahahaha

  • Jah

    When you start hearing music and freak out, but it’s just the refrigerator

    When you’re eating a pocky stick and forget it’s there (in your hand), then when you realize it’s there you try to take a hit off it before realizing what it is.

    When stoner comics make sense

    When the plan is to only smoke a bowl or two, but you go through almost the rest of your stash (8-9 bowls) -this happened while with a friend and some random chick that appeared out of nowhere and offered to smoke us down, right after we had just finished a bowl. Damn I love that campground!

    When you walk into the living room to find the joint you recently rolled on the floor because you forgot it was on your lap when you got up

    When you’re too lazy to write anymore than that.

  • Breanna

    When everything around you looks like it's straight out of a comic book; you see everything cell-shaded.

  • mellie

    When you can only move, walk, and talk like a robot, and cant stop, even when your neighbor in your apartment building comes knocking on your door asking you to "either light some incense or share some bud" with them.

  • Sublemon

    When you have a cast on and try to rip it off because it feels to restricting and uncomfortable!

  • Krusty

    When you are driving down the road and the Black and White chevron markers on the bridge morph in to cows and walk across the road.

    After a few good golf ball sized spots, bung a CD on while harvesting, then 3 hours later discover the song is stuck on a 4 minute loop and is not some epic stoner song from 1973 you thought that you have been listening to.

  • jesse

    you know your too stoned when you cant open your eyes and can barely mover so to get to the kitchen you have to pull yourself off the bed and crawl.. but when you get to the stairs you crawl back to your bed and then when someone comes in your room to tell you something all you can think of to say is uh huh.

  • Indica

    You forget to pass the pipe over so you just keep holding / smoking it.

  • fuck

    i have a problem
    i have never smoked weed
    (i wish i could)
    and alot of that stuff happen to me every day lol

  • Zanner

    You know your to stoned when ur smoking by yourself look in a mirror forget your by yourself and start trying to have a staring contest with the mirror only realizing 3 hours later that your the only one there

  • Katies Imagination

    When you say "Custard tastes like the sun." and "I'm going higher and higher into the cosmic dimensions of milk!" lol!!!

  • eimilee

    you go to the kitchen to get water but then you fall asleep on the counter

  • Ryan

    You know that your too stoned when your contacts start drying up.

  • DJB126

    When you fall asleep on the floor only a few feet away from your bed.

  • Francisco

    when it takes you 10 minutes to order something through the drive thru because you and your friends keep laughing at the names of the orders!

  • Jesuslovescows

    When you tickle your butthole with a feather

  • Jasmine

    - Your answer to everything is, ” Wait, what? ”

    - When you can’t remember if you dog is a tiny deformed human or land dolphin … ( True story sadly xD )

    - When the clock says O2:O4, & you pretend it says 4:20 in some type of alternate universe .

  • nick

    you know your to stoned when you have conversations with food in your fridge (true story)

  • Actual Stoner

    Im not going to lie, this is incredibly inaccurate and lame

  • Bri

    When you're saying the most complex and genius things imagineable, and its only background noise to your friends arguing over who spilt the bong

  • MrLelo

    i got lost on my own street… or another story of mind where it took me 3 hours to walk to my house and let me remind that my house was 3 houses down

  • nignogg

    When your chest is pounding and every swallow is a.challenge to get down your throat

  • Ajkldsfg

    He wrote the article, Dumbshit.

  • iTidez

    I can check off 99% of this list all from one day. Perhaps I need to slow down :D

  • http://none Austyn

    When you cant keep a straight face infront of your parents when you stoned to death

  • http://twitter.com/BurnTheSpliff Indica

    1) When you think you’re out of weed so you shuffle around your floor and find a healthy bowl’s worth
    2) When you find a baggie on your bookshelf and have no recollection of how it got there
    3) You are more happy for your friend that got a new bong than you are for the friend that had a baby
    4) Your friends naturally check to see if you smell like weed when they hug you

  • http://77waysyoushouldknowyourwaytoostoned Skylershowalter

    U know your stoned when u start seeing a piece of pizza on a tree and u find out that it was only a leaf…

  • Kris g

    you know your really high when a ten minute car ride seems to last for hours and you try to physically seperate your ribcage from your body because you are laughing really bad and you are in the fetile position

  • Jamie, I think

    you know you are too high when you pass the joint, forget about it, roll another, and then get confused when you spark up as the original one comes back to you, leaving you with two.

  • http://bongpipes.cu.cc/ Rawrface

    LMFAO GREAT POST, Lenny! I notice I do a lot of this shit in my reviews on my site.
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  • kenny

    When you make a bong with a 8ft tube so that you don't have to get up to pass it, you just chuck the tube across the room instead.

  • stoner

    When you remember you havent lighted a joint in your hand in 30 minutes

  • Weeerrrd

    driving in a lane that ends thinking wtf why is this lane getting so small, then almost hitting the gutter

  • JACK

    when you meet your dealer to get more weed while wearing a D.A.R.E.(Drug Abuse Resistance Education) t-shirt…LMAO! :D

  • GINO

    You know your too stoned when: You cannot hold the bong, drop it, and destroy a perfectly good bong.

    You know your too stoned when: Instead of sucking the smoke from a bong, you blow into it and cause the water to erupt.

    You know your too stoned when: Your friends are talking to you and you have absolutely no interests in talking back.

  • http://stonerhideout.com stoner forums

    hahaha that kitten is really too stoned

  • Stoned stoner 101

    When you feel like your in a movie and nothing feels real and then think to yourself what if this lasts forever and then get freaked out so u try to go to bed but u can’t sleep so u get up to eat realizing ur still in bed

    • Purple haze

      Duuuude that happened to me before

  • Stoned stoner 101

    When you feel really high but you haven’t even taken a hit yet

  • Maria

    I laugh hysterically at everything… and forget everything too

  • ads

    You know your too stoned when a tree looks like an Easter island head statue because the street light shines on it at an odd angle…

  • Nicole

    When you can't remember if you had sex last night or not, and you spend the whole next day contemplating this.

  • amber

    omg so this happens to me every time i smoke and im watching tv like no matter what show is on, my brain relates it to a moment in my life like every little second is like deja vu and my brain just keeps going every second that passes in the tv show i relate it to my life and i start seeing stuff from when i was like 5 its so hard to explain but it bugs me the fuck out sooo bad and it happens every time i wish i could explain it better

    • Olivier

      Oh my god! I totally recognize that! My experience with that is actually after eating space cookies (homemade, way too strong). I sat down outside with a friend, and we just started connecting every single person that came by to a random character from a movie, tv show, book or irl, that fits the person so fucking perfectly you don’t understand where that knowledge suddenly is coming from. Weirdest part, it doesn’t take you more than half a second to relate a passer-by to a character!

    • wilvid

      Stop watching reruns & home movies. :~)

  • Josh

    when your driving home and you end up driving way past your house because your not paying attention

  • MistaTilley

    When u go to Krogers spend an hr shopping get home an got nothing u went for jus debbie cakes, canned fruit, juice an rello’s

  • Tasdel

    When you’re stoned right now reading this!

  • Redxbebop

    You know your to stoned when you get high for two weeks straight don’t remember any of it and then ask your friend what day it Is and you realised you have actually been high for two weeks straight.

  • sasser

    when your looking on google for good food to make when your stoned then come across this blog and laugh your ass off.

  • kevion

    i jus forgot wat i just typed

  • kevion

  • li jimmy

    how the flipping fuck did that man become the president it just blows my fucking my fucking mind

    • WaffleS420

      The world may never know.. but dear god that man makes more mistakes than lindsey lohan…

    • beholdTHAcreator

      When you type the ending to a sentence twice not realizing you already typed it you already typed it…. -__- smh

    • wilvid

      He wasn’t the best I’ll agree,But beats the hell out of this Fascist, POS we have now.

  • li jimmy

    when your enjoying the fact that you haven't blinked in 24 hours

  • what_goes_here

    when u spend 5min trying to turn the sink on then u come to a conclusion that u cant see water so you try rubbing it on your hands but its still not wet so you try spashing it on yourself but that doesent work so you go get a freind to help you turn the tap on

  • http://pornhub.com Sean

    So stoned you realize you’ve been sitting in the same spot for what feels like a long time. (probably 5 minutes)

  • Tony

    You know your stoned when you call your friend and her dad answers, so you spend 10 miniutes mumbeling to her dad not realizing that it was him and not actually your friend.

  • Alex

    When you can’t finish reading a paragraph or sentence without forgetting what it was about and have to keep starting over and end up being the last student in class in the finals of (high) school senior year and leave confident in the theories you developed while figuring out some answers.

  • http://samsclub.com neptaly

    When ur jus high is enogh for me real shit

  • ellie

    putting the kettle in the fridge and the milk on the kettle stand ive done this many times also turning to a friend who is also baked and hes licking his arm lol

  • Scott

    When you forget where the door is in the room.(true story)

  • pennylane

    you know it when your googling “best things to eat high” and you just realized that your dog has been ripping ass repeatedly for a while, right next to you…

  • jrasta

    when you run out of ganga and you put lawn grass in your pipe

  • ricky stephens

    when you watch a tv programme and you think it was made for stoners

    when every dubstep track sounds 1000 times better than when your not stoned

  • Lamarr Blocker-Throckmorton

    When you call Domino’s Pizza and try to order using your EBT card.
    When it takes forever and a day to light up a cigarette.

  • pickiny

    When you feel like you just walked the same track over and over
    When wtf am I doing i’m so stoned lollllllllllllllllllll

  • meowmix

    when you hand your friend the joint so she can hit the bong :)

  • OldUncleDave

    When you put a spoonful of sugar into your coffee cup, then pour the coffee into the sugar bowl. and When you fix a bowl of cereal, then put the cereal in fridge and the milk in the cupboard.

  • Christina

    When eating food sounds like you’re lifes only mission.
    When you know you look stoned but you know theres nothing you can do no matter what
    When you smoke all the weed you were planning to save.
    When you’re talking to someone and you have to ask”what was I talking about again?”

  • NotInReality

    Feel like that every day – I smoke to get rid of that feeling :(

  • Martin Lepage

    When you finally find out what you are doing and you started doing this 30 minutes ago

  • Martin Lepage

    When you feel that you really need to post at least 1 thing on this page(just like I did)

  • Martin Lepage

    When you want to want to take the bus that will come in 30 minute and then feels like taking the one that is in a hour after the next one, because you ONLY have 30 minutes(true story. This morning, that is what I did)

  • meowmix

    when you hand your friend the joint so he can light the bong haha
    oops :)

  • Autumn

    When you feel like you’re in an adventure movie and every step you take is an accomplishment <3

  • hiiii

    When you’re reading this

  • Naes

    When you realize the TV is a car window, and you’ve been driving for five hours.

  • Ely

    When you feel like that car is mvng backwards and its not even turned on

  • JayBull

    illuminati

  • stonedbrohb

    when you walk around in circles without having a clue about ANYTHING

  • tyler

    When ur sitting in the garage/basement, & you ask ur friend “didnt i just go in the house?” You laugh hysterically cause u realize u were sat down the whole time.

  • Preston

    When you feel like your never going to get out of the high. You go to sleep wake up like a hour later and still high. You start freaking out at that point

    • TheTruthShallSetUsFree

      I would love to be high forever. Sure would save me a lot of money.

  • Martin Lepage

    When you play a video game and lagging as f**k and you think you’re not lagging

  • g92

    When you realize you’ve been holding the phone up to your ear
    even though the person on the other line already hung up.

  • Ali

    When you’re smoking alone and you try passing the joint to a buddy.
    When you’re riding in a car and it feels like you’re racing everyone around you.
    When you’re at a football game and you’re wondering why everyone is so damn loud.
    When your friend’s rant makes him sound like a philosopher.
    When you’re walking down the street, you see a friend, they say hello. You reply with “Man, we’re gettin’ some burgers.” with your smoking buddy walking chink eyed behind you and you both just keep walking without saying another word.
    When you feel like God.
    I could go on forever…

  • Pingback: Lingerie Football League & Philly Passion’s Dani Lynn Hearts Roadhead

  • Sebastian Cavolina

    you know you re too stoned when you go to a Mc’ Donald’s drivethru…
    .
    .
    .
    by foot

  • Sebastian Cavolina

    when you fall asleep listening to some heavy ass drum and bass

  • Henrique

    You are too stoned when:
    1.You are in office, Nobody is watching you but you think everybody knows that you are high and they are talking about you.
    2.You spend 30 minutes to find something only to forget what were you looking for.
    3.

    • Ethan

      Where is 3

      • saytan420

        That was the point.

  • Olivier

    Trying to glue your iPhone volume buttons back in (yes they fell out) using super glue, and only realising you’re way too stoned for that when you’re too slow and the glue dried up without the buttons…

  • Jay

    when you can get another hit just by walking in your room

  • bri bri

    You start something , get distracted , then I realize what you were supposed to be doing and restart it .

  • anonymous

    When someone says you should go on some adventure with them and you answer “yeahhh man” with your eyebrows raised , eyes squinted , and mouth in a gigantic smile .

  • scardrm

    when you realize everything you just read didn’t really happen at this moment

  • DJ

    You know you’ve smoked to much when you’ve got a perfectly good bong but instead you insist on utilizing every plastic bottle, straw, cap, tape, and whatever else appears to be even remotely useful in creating your own smoking utensil….

    • DJ

      You know your too stoned when you conform an entire roll of tinfoil to your face and the impression becomes an icon to your every customer lol…

  • SergeantBriggs

    When you fall asleep in the car you’re hot boxing, wake up an hour later and smoke the rest of the bowl you loaded an hour ago.

  • d

    When you accidently microwave a salad, then insist on eating it out of the sheer possibility that hot lettuce might actually be appetizing.

  • wilvid

    Driving some where but keep going past the road you are supposed to take & then turn around & …do it again. DAMN! Then do it again!!! :~)

  • fatkat

    When you arrive at your best friends house only to shit in the neighbors yard

  • aqblazer

    when you stare at the snack food closet for 10 minutes straight

  • Stuart

    when u skipped like half cuz i didnt feel like reading them all.

  • Alvaro Tavares

    when saying hi to your neighbor gets awkward as F*CK

  • Jake s

    When you dtar t thinking about life and other questions where they will never be answered

  • Danny Westley J.

    I dont believe you canever be to stoned–light weights–lol

  • kontradiktory

    when you go looking for an extension cord that used to be plugged in between the couches and don’t realize its been move to another outlet after trying to find it for 20 freakin minutes.

  • Me

    Or feeling like you’re a toy in God’s game and everything is on a chain. Then Become suspicious about everyone because all of them are in cahoots. But you can’t do anything because after your high, you won’t remember this so you have to take action right away.. or is that just me?

  • Homegirl

    When you try to put your seat belt on but you already have it on you just put the band behind you to load the bowl.

  • Greg Gallacci

    Wait, what, ok.

  • Sean Contreras

    When you’re sitting for what feels like an eternity only to look at the clock and realize it has been seven minutes

    When you convince yourself you got a laced batch

    When you watch TV and forget what you’re watching… while it’s still on.

  • me

    Duuuuude, legit. every. damn. time.

  • On_my_iphone

    When you have no idea what day it is while sober, and you don’t know whether it’s Monday, or Friday, you just have no clue whatsoever so you ask some one

  • On_my_iphone

    When a typical girl looks really really really beutiful

  • makasana

    COME DO SOME GOOD BUSINESS DEALS WITH SHEPHEN.I CAN SUPPLY YOU TOP SHELF STRAINS OF MARIJUANA.CONTACT AT (mkenttaylor@gmail.com] WE DEAL LOCALLY AND HAVE SCOUTS THAT WOULD COME TO ANY DESIRED LOCATION…..

  • denis

    When you eat your apple pipe before even smoking out of it. Lol

  • purple diesel girl

    omfg I feel like I’m in a little fake world and everything looks cartoonish

  • Ollie Gates

    Damnnnn this was some funnnnyyy shittt. i got about 40 of these down at least.

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