77 Ways You Should Know That You Are Way Too Stoned
We’ve all been there. You smoke and you realize at some point that you got way higher than you thought you would or it creeps up on you and hits you all at once. Then you are past the point of no return. You instantly turn into a vegetable that will only move to get food or to make your way to your bed. You still feel lovely though.
It happens to the best of us. Here are 77 ways that I (or my friends) have experienced that let us know that we may have had too much that evening.
You know you are way too stoned when….
- You can’t hit your bowl cause it’s clogged with resin
- You light your cigarette the wrong way
- When you realize that the song you thought you were listening to ended ten minutes ago
- When you decide to found your own religion entirely based on the eating of Doritos
- You are tired of talking midway through a sentence
- Your bags are empty and you don’t know why
- When you find yourself at McDonald’s with no money because you spent it on weed
- When you say a joke to someone who originally said that same joke to you
- When you talk to your cat and get angry because it’s not replying
- When you talk to your cat and it actually is replying
- If you play through just one level of a video game, then look over and find the clock has somehow skipped five hours
- When you cough up a lugie and it tastes like bong water
- When you stare at a TV that’s not even turned on because you don’t feel like turning it on
- You put your lighter in your mouth and try to light it with your bowl. (true story)
- When you put sentences together like George Bush
- When your friend tells you to roll another blunt, and half an hour later you wonder why no one’s smoking
- When you go to Wendy’s and pass out with your face in your french fries
- When you decide its a good idea to moon a police officer
- When everything is just a little too funny
- When walking to your kitchen seems like an epic journey
- When you start to do one thing, get distracted by another and never even remember that you started the original thing
- When you wake up still high and rush to work only to realize that this is your day off
- When you fall asleep 5 minutes after starting a movie
- When you stop at a stop sign and wait for it to turn green
- When you load a bowl without dumping the ash out of the last one, you cant pull a hit, and fuck up a bowl of good weed having to dump out a half burning bowl and watch it crumble into black powder
- You spend 30 minutes searching for something and then realize that it was in your hand all along
- You pour anything but milk into your cereal
- Someone says hi to you and you reply 45 minutes later because you just realize what they said
- You drive 40mph on the highway
- You drive 10mph on the street
- When you get excited because you beat your dog in a staring contest
- When you call to order a pizza, wait 2 hours and realize that you never actually ordered it
- When it takes you 10 minutes to figure out how to operate a seat belt
- When you go grocery shopping and the only thing you buy is pop rocks, nerds, and every single wonka candy you find
- When you just can’t stop coughing
- When you forget to put water in the bong
- When your bong is taller than your dog
- It takes you 25 minutes to roll a joint
- When the Taco Bell employees know you by name
- You’re eating something on your way home thinking about what you’re gonna eat when you get home
- When you start stealing friends lighters
- when you try to leave the house but had to go back in 6 times to individually retrieve your wallet, cell phone, lighter, keys, drink, and hat that you remembered to bring, one at a time
- You call burger king and ask if they deliver
- When you try to figure out ways to smoke the roaches
- When you misplace a 3 foot bong, that you just used
- When you don’t have anything to drink so you drink the juice from a can of fruit
- When you think everyone thinks you’re really stoned
- When you look like this….
- When you “accidentally” kiss your girlfriends sister thinking it was her
- You are out of weed so you try chewing on sticks and seeds
- Spend an hour trying to find a specific DVD only to realize you left it in the DVD player
- When you enjoy not being able to move
- When you’ve lost your lighter, again
- When you start a sentence and then half way through you forget what you were going to say
- When you swear you see police cars behind you and you haven’t even started the car yet
- When you forget where you put the rest of the weed or the dutch
- When you read a blog post and can’t even make it to number 57 in it without getting distracted by the fridge
- When you get lost in your own house
- When you have a baggie but no papers so you roll a joint with a page from the phone book
- When almost any song sounds good to you
- When you’ll eat just about anything
- When you change your order at a drive thru like three times and end up with everything you asked for
- When you can’t say “Say No To Drugs” without laughing hysterically
- When you spend 4 hours walking 3 big circles around town just to find a good place to smoke more
- When you forget what you were watching during the commercial break
- You are late and stoned to everywhere you go
- When you watch your favorite TV show on mute while you listen to your iPod
- When you and your friends keep playing a crappy video game because no one feels like switching it
- When you wake up at 6………………………….. PM
- When you roll up a blunt, forget about it, and then find it a few days later and wonder where it came from
- When you cook after getting the munchies and you forget about your find and don’t find it until tomorrow
- When you get a board game and you are too lazy to read the directions so you make up your own rules
- When You Wait For 4:20 to hit..And its 4:29 before you realized you were sopposed to smoke 9 minutes ago..
- You accidentally light your hair on fire instead of the blunt
- When you are at Jack in the Box and you don’t even remember how you got there
- You have or know someone who has done more than 20 things on this list
- You browse Hail Mary Jane everyday, Subscribe to the feed, or follow me on twitter (shameless plug)
What did I miss? I want to hear some of your crazy “you know your too stoned” situations.
2134
7090
14011
455 Comments
Donovan
01.14.2012
Number 26, could not find my lighter! Told my boi i was gonna kick his ass if he didnt give me my lighter and it was in my hand the whole time
Daquirri Halverson
01.16.2012
When you wont let anyone smell your weed because you think they will smoke it without you.
When you go to Dairy Queen every night right before closing to get ice cream.
When you party with 20 Indians and realize you are the only white person there but its still all your weed everyone is smoking.
When a random Indian you were just smoking pot with takes you to McDonalds and MAKES you eat ice cream and three extra bacon cheese burgers that he is to full to eat.
When your best friend passes out on you at a pot party where you don’t know anyone but you keep smoking so that you have something to yell at her for the next morning.
When your laugh changes from really low to a power puff chuckle.
When you and your friends get stoned in your bathroom, one of your friends walks out just to walk back in and asks to use your bedroom floor to bone her boyfriend.
When you are smoking a joint in a car when it burns you so you throw it and it lands in the persons shirt beside you.
Kenzy
01.16.2012
You know when your brother is to stoned when he thinks his name is Brain Niles and he starts singing the song im on a boat. He also drools all over the bong and it gets past to me next.
Luke
01.23.2012
when walking with friends u reach a corner and everyone stops and say "where are we going?"
matthew reyes
01.25.2012
you know your stoned, when you go on the computer ti find out how stoned you are xD
CrackHulk
01.26.2012
when you get hungry, walk to the store, but get a pack of gum and get the hell out of there. then the munchies and pasties kick in even more. that's when you should've gotten chips and pop or something, but no. you were too high
lololol
02.03.2012
you know your too stoned when you hit your bong without water
Rob
02.04.2012
you know your too stoned when your friend starts petting a bird only to realize its dead and he wants to bring it to the hospital but you don't because your afraid its going to turn into a zombie. (Bullshit not)
james
02.21.2012
How bout i go to school stond and buy 4bisquets be i got the munchies
Shane
02.23.2012
One night I was driving my dude home and stopped at a stop sign for 10 minutes. My dude was wondering what was up and them it hit me I was so stoned that I was waiting for the sign to turn green lol
dankshit
02.23.2012
you know your high when your eyes are low and red as fuck and your parents will be home in a little but you don't give a fuck. hahahahaha
Fox
03.01.2012
You know ur too stoned when u and ur friends are at Mcdonals. 1 of ur friends tells u to buy 1 large cup and gives u $2. And when u coma back u bring 2 large cups 1 is mixed with Cola and Sprite and the other is Water with Dr pepper.
24/7 4/20
03.02.2012
lol this whole blog cracks me the fuck up, Yesterday i was chillin with some homies and we were just rollin around for about 5 and a half hours while trippin the fuck out. I NEVER knew where the fuck we were. All I knew was that i had gone out too far and wasnt comin back for a while. I have also done practically everything on your list, so mad respect to you man. I have been driving around crossfaded as fuck with a full car, me and my homi are painting a picture and smoking a bowl, while everyone in the back is passing a bong, dont know how long we were doing this, but we did it at a stop sign waitin for it to turn green
Strunz
03.06.2012
my friend ate her cat's face. She said it was too fluffy to resist
pmpmn
03.09.2012
Hmmm…I've done 54 and 65 when I wasn't stoned but maybe that's because I have ADD and I'm getting on in years….
steddymobbin
03.13.2012
WHEN YOUR PERCEPTION OF TIME SPACE AND DEPTH IS SO FAR GONE YOUR BRAIN IS IN A LOOP OF INSANITY GOING 1000 MILES PER HOUR
Reef
03.16.2012
Whim u sittin smokin with your friends and your eyes are so low everybody thinks your sleep
reggie
03.19.2012
when little things like bouncing a ball in your room to a mate is fun and do it for hours. when you get so stoned that you fall asleep at like 7 and wake up at like 6 in the morning with nothing to do. when you just walk aimlessly until you get really far and cant be bothered to walk back. when your half way through a sentence and your mind goes blank. when your talking to your mate about a total different thing than there talking about. when you make MAD food combinations. when you go to whitey but you have such a dry mouth and throat that nothing comes out. when you totally forget about the mix sitting there in front of you and just start emptying a fag into the cap. when you randomly whack out the tattoo machine and do some ridiculous tattoo. when you start up a massive convo with ya pal about what if zombies invaded or if i won the lottery. LOL TALKING ABOUT BEING HIGH IMMA GO MAKE ME SOME BIG PENG ARSED SANDWHICH, GOOD DAY MY FELLOW POTHEADS SMOKE IT EASAAY!!!
midnight toker
03.22.2012
recently I had saved a spicy chicken wrap that I’d bought in a combo but decided to keep for later. My mom put a note on it saying that it was my chicken wrap. I take it outta the fridge and put it into the oven. I blank out for 2 minutes and notice an empty bag with a note in it saying that it was my piece of pumpkin pie (I wasn’t imagining that, my mom had made pumpkin pie the week before). Although I never ate the slice that was reserved for me, somebody (possibly my sister) must have robbed it from me. I then got pissed and feeling quite uninhibited that night, I decided to write on the paper ‘I hope it was good.’ I planned on leaving the paper on the counter for the family to see.
The part that said it was my pumpkin pie was crossed out and I didn’t make sense of that until I turned it over and saw that on the other side it said it was my chicken wrap. I laughed to myself about it when I realized what I’d done. Needless to say I was pretty damn high
Poncho
03.24.2012
When you watch a kids movie and can't stop crying.
haze
03.25.2012
Smoked for the first time last night… sat there for an hour wondering if a camel and a llama would do the tango if I asked really really really nicely
Then I realized that I wasn't looking at a camel or a llama but a porcelain cat and a tube of lipstick! xD Then I looked in the mirror and thought about how I looked like a sexy dragon with smoke coming outa my nose 
Best shit ever!
charly bit me
03.29.2012
when u spend 10 minutes trying to put your head phones inside of your ipod
AIGEE
04.06.2012
i've done about 60 things on that list lol
David
04.07.2012
When you forget to put water in the bong
lol i did that!
chiefin
04.07.2012
when your food starts talking to you like the food on aqua teen hunger force
jude
04.08.2012
I know I'm stoned when my next joint keeps fallng off my hand. I can't even light it and smoke, my hands seem to be shaking, then I look up and realize my friends have been laughing at me all along.
jax
04.18.2012
You know you are too stoned when your friend says ‘too much is never enough’ and you smoke again.
When you were supposed to pass the bowl five minutes ago and your friend says, ‘dude pass the bowl’ you stare at it for a good minute and just look at him and say ‘its difficult’
Chris
04.18.2012
I laughed so hard while reading #25
Dreamer
04.20.2012
When ur feeling to high to type and u havent even started hittn tha pipe. Haha oh theres my first hit and im off to another world! Goodbye people!!
Denise
04.21.2012
When you go to the restroom to look at the mirror for a few seconds and it actually turns out to be over 30 minutes.
nick
04.23.2012
when you forget to pull up to the 2nd window at mcdonalds for almost 5 minutes
stop
04.23.2012
weed doesn't need to be mixed with cigarettes. they make it toxic & addictive. 10 years ago I stopped using cigarettes and at 40 my chest feels healthier than ever!
HAM420
04.23.2012
When you ask your teacher if you look high
John
05.02.2012
You know you’re too stoned when you almost choke on food that you believe is 6 months old.
You know you’re too stoned when you fall asleep giving the lady at taco bell your order.
Daniel
05.04.2012
When you are sitting on the couch watching televsion then realise you are somehow sitting on a different couch to the one you were sitting on a few minutes ago.
Kevin Marley
05.11.2012
When youve been playing a video game constantly for the past week (I was on house arrest) and then you get so stoned that every time you close your eyes you are ABSOLUTELY convinced you are playing the game. For me it was fallout new Vegas. I swear to god my stoner brain came up with a new dlc for it.
There are no trackbacks to display at this time.