The very cool guy named Confusion who runs Pigeons and Planes reached out to me about doing a post about weed and music. He came up with the idea to pick a genre and tell what weed, smoking method and things to avoid to have the best listen. I wish I would of had it done awhile ago, but HMJ just took up too much of my time. But what better time to have it for 4.20?
There are so many damn genres of music out there, so I couldn’t cover everything. I choose seven genres from Old School Hip-Hop to Classic Rock to even Dubstep. The dubstep is more of a parody of this at the end. I gave you the best strain to smoke, the best smoking methods and what to avoid to keep your high going. Nobody wants their high blown by hip-hop dubstep remixes while listening to old school hip-hop. I hope this helps you stoners enjoy music better when stoned. This is all for fun, not all of it is true, but 90% of it is. Just some laughs for the potheads and non potheads for 4.20.2012.
Genre: Old School Hip-Hop
Recommended Strain: Master Bubba
Reasoning: Besides marijuana making you happy, hungry, and sleepy. Master Bubba makes you very focused. You may be wondering why that matters when you’re getting high. It usually doesn’t. But when listening to old school hip-hop you need to be focused to catch all of the lyrics that are said. Let’s be real, nowadays majority of rap songs are pretty damn simple. Not a lot of story telling going on or amazing wordplay. I’m not saying that there aren’t artists out there doing this, because there is. I’m just saying it is a rarity. You need to be focused when you’re listening to artists like Big L, Tupac, and Biggie. They have such profound and meaningful lyrics that you need to think about. Like weed does for most, it makes you think much deeper than you would sober. So sit back smoke this and focus your mind on the lyrics that grossed the hip-hop genre to where it is today.
Recommended Smoking Method: I think anyone could of guessed the smoking method. It has to be blunts on blunts on blunts. Roll up a few white owls or backwoods full of that Master Bubba and get educated.
Avoid: Dubstep remixes, Vanilla Ice, any type of alcohol that isn’t in a 40 ounce bottle.
Genre: Stoner Rap
Recommended Strain: White Rhino
Reasoning: I have never been listening to stoner rap and felt motivated to do anything. When you have Spitta rapping about doobies and fruit snacks, what else would you want to do? Sit back, chill out and smoke more bowls from the bong. White Rhino being an indica is gonna make you stuck to that seat in laziness. While you giggle throughout bong hits and marijuana lyrics, you will be high and happy.
Recommended Smoking Method: There are no wrong ways to get high while listening to stoner rap. Nothing is off limits from the bong to joints to a vaporizer.
Avoid: Your parents house, people who are against weed, dubstep
Recommended Strain: Bubblegum
Reasoning: We have all heard of the term “Bubblegum Pop”. Katy Perry, Madonna and boy bands come to mind whenever I think of it. I blame the 90’s for the boy band part. Happy and uptempo music that usually wants to make you dance is what it usually consist of. So you are going to need a strain that isn’t going to make you stick to that couch. The top 5 artists at the moment in the pop genre are Rihanna, LMFAO, Gym Class Heroes, Katy Perry and David Guetta. All five of these artists usually make some type of music what I like to call, “Happy Music.”
Recommended Smoking Method: Most pop listeners are usually female from my calculations through friends. I have also calculated that majority of female smokers use a bowl or small bong to get high. That being said, I recommend a bowl. If you’re feeling a little wild or about to see a pop artist in concert then I’d recommend a mini bong.
Avoid: Blunts, anybody who likes the band koRn, Aaron Carter music, smoking next to the 10 year old at the Katy Perry concert.
Genre: Classical Rock
Recommended Strain: LSD
Reasoning: There’s a saying my buddies Dad has on his motorcycles helmet. It states, “If you remember the 60’s then you weren’t there.” Lots of amazing rock music was started in the 60’s and 70’s. From Jimi Hendrix to Ozzy Osbourne to Rolling Stones to Bob Dylan. There was also a lot of drugs used in those days, so I thought LSD sounded just right. Not only does the strain name apply, but so does the buzz. You get a very euphoric and uplifting high. I was fortunate enough to see Ozzy Osbourne for my first concert at 12 years old. OzzFest was clearly not the place for a 12 year old. Saw some things at a very young age. One thing that stood out was this guy next to me who kept smoking joints nonstop. I didn’t know much about pot then. But just he laid there smoked and enjoyed the music. He wasn’t moshing or jumping around. It’s like the music just took control and zoned him in. That’s where the euphoric comes in. The uplifting part is from artist like Bob Dylan lyrics. Lyrics like , “You don’t need a weather man to know which way the wind blows” from his song Bringing It All Back Home. Or Stones lyrics like, “I was bitten by a boar, I was gouged and I was gored, but I pulled on through.” Uplifting things that had people believe that they can get through anything.
Recommended Smoking Method: Majority of people that listen to classic rock grew up with it. I know from what I’ve seen and heard that bongs and bowls were huge in the sixties like they are now. You would roll up what I like to call a pinner. A small cigarette rolled with marijuana. I think that’s why a lot of older people I smoke with roll pinners like that. I blame the sixties for pinner joints.
Avoid: Vaporizers, drugs that don’t dissolve in your mouth, Ciroc
Recommended Strain: The Shake From Mexican Brick Weed
Reasoning: Whether I want to admit it or not, Nu-Metal is over. Even though Limp Bizkit just signed with Cash Money. It is still very dead in the year of 2012. I was the biggest koRn and Limp Bizkit (still am). But they have lost it. There is no market for white dudes in backwards fitted or bands with 6 string guitars with bad singing. Con suggested that we use shake for this genre. As much as it hurts me, I agree. No need to waste some nicely trimmed purple nugs on this music. A bunch of joints of some Mexican brick weed shake should do the trick, seeds and stems in all. The below picture describes it perfectly.
Recommended Smoking Method: It doesn’t matter at this point.
Avoid: Nothing. Nothing oculd be worse than listening to nu-metal while smoking Mexican brick weed. Believe me I know from experience.
Genre: Frat Rap
Recommended Strain: Grapefruit Kush
Reasoning: Majority of people who listen to “Frat Rap” are kids in frats or at college. When I ever I visit my buddies at college they always have some sort of frat rap on. Whether it’s Mac Miller, Asher Roth or plenty of other rappers rapping about red cups and beer pong. If you rap about beer pong and beer bongs, you’re probably a frat rapper. When you think of college you think of partying. A bunch of kids having a blast getting drunk with a ton of people. This is where Grapefruit Kush comes in handy perfectly. The three biggest effects from smoking Grapefruit Kush are happy, euphoric and aroused. Those are the three things you want to be at college. Happy because nobody likes a mad person at a party. Euphoric because everyone loves intense feelings of well-being, happiness, excitement and joy. I hope you get the aroused part as well.
Recommended Smoking Method: 6 foot bong, joint, blunt, vaporizer
Avoid: Alley Boy music, big girls, the guy wearing under armor to the bar
Recommended Strain: Burmese Kush
Reasoning: The reason to smoke Burmese Kush is for the effects after you will receive from listening to dubstep. From my in-depth studying of the creatures that go to dubstep concerts, I have found that most suffer from insomnia, migraines and lack of appetite. They usually suffer from insomnia and lack of appetite from the large amounts of molly or ecstasy used at the concerts. Molly is the new drug the dubsteppers and now rappers are even dipping into. The drug gives you a great feeling but keeps you up all night while you lose your appetite. If that doesn’t sound bad, realize you have to listen to dubstep music all night. I’d rather sit through a Kris Kross concert completely sober rather than being fucked up at a dubstep concert. Why am I calling it a “dubstep concert”? It’s just prerecorded beats that sound like Transformers that gives you severe migraines.
Recommended Smoking Method: Only cure for extreme dubstepping is to use edibles. Eating any type of weed cookies, brownies or candy.
Avoid: Everyone. We don’t want to see you extreme dubsteppers.