Are you ready for “Hi” answers? The homie Ron is here to answer the questions your parents would judge you for asking. Don’t worry about being judged by Ron. He didn’t marry your mother, but he might of impregnated her. I don’t know, I’m not “hi’, so I can’t answer that question. We are going to try to make this a weekly feature. If you have any “Questions For A Hi Guy”, email them to Green@hailmaryjane.com or go straight to the source and ask Ron at @RegualarAssRon. If that’s not enough, because I know it’s not. Visit his blog, Don’t Blow My Hi. I’m going to let the “hi” guy take it from here.
I was raised to be pure and innocent. I’m not. I’ve done a few things. I’ve seen a few things. And Yes I’m Hi. I’m by no means ashamed that I smell like indoor cat piss. People who are hi; have a wealth of information. If I want to know where good weeds are; I’m not going to ask the guy who looks like he still asks to hit the blunt instead of having his own. That guy is not cool. I’m going to ask the Hi Guy who smells like natures armpit.
If Steve Harvey can get a show, if Dr. Phil was able to do what he did. Fuck them. I can answer everyday life questions and give you more practical advice. Trust me. I’m hi. I have a lot of questions about life. Ask me your hi questions and ill give you my hi answers.
Hi Question 1:
Do you think people came from apes? Like evolution type shit. (Jamisa – Delaware/favorite weed: Chemdog)
Hi Guy Answer:
Hell No. We may be like apes. We may do a lot of the same shit. But we’re savages. Not apes. Every species alive on this planet is a savage specifically engineered to survive and accomplish their goal. The goal of an Ape is to hold the jungle down and get into shit. Humans just wanna get hi and rub on each other. Even if you don’t take drugs you still look for things to get you hi. Don’t question that. Apes are different. We might look like hairless apes but we’re smart enough to never do tricks for bananas and peanut butter. If you smoke reggie you’ll turn into an ape though. What if every animal was part human? Look in your dogs eye and tell me they don’t look like they judge you for masturbating in front of them.
Hi Question 2:
Do singles people have more fun? (Brian – West Virginia/favorite Weed: White Widow)
Hi Guy Answer:
If you’re in a relationship and asking that question; you’re a hoe. If your single and aren’t having fun; shave, buy a new pair of sweatpants or go to the gym fatty. Tough love is the only thing that works sometimes. Single people shouldn’t go home until the night is completely over. If you go home early and don’t have a girl, everyone knows you’re going home to tug on your penis. Tugboat Champ. Have fun whether you’re single or not.
Get Hi and Ask Questions. Its the only way you’ll hear real answers.
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