Badass Super Stoner Escapes Prison Time By Acting As His Own Lawyer

This story is so ridiculous and awesome I can’t handle it. First off you have Brain Alexik, aka the Jason Bourne of Pot, casually escaping down a fire escape with large duffle bags just as the Feds bust down his door. His superhuman speed and agility left the cops dumbfounded, and when they search his house they find his stash of super badass weapons and stacks of counterfeit cash he’s been throwing around for months. He doesn’t get apprehended until 2 months later, and thats where the story should end. But this guy steps in the courtroom acting as HIS OWN LAWYER, gets all the charges thrown out and gets 5 years probation without breaking a sweat. Just a normal day for a super goverment engineered rouge stoner spy prototype. Next time someone try’s to argue that pot users are dumb and lazy, send them Brain Alexik’s luxurious penthouse loft to get thier ass kicked.

PS- I want to be this guy so fucking bad.

Brian Alexik, who acted as his own lawyer, entered his plea to two counts of possession for sale of a controlled substance and one count each of possession of concentrated cannabis, forgery and possession for sale of a controlled substance while armed, prosecutors said.The case began unfolding April 19, 2010, when Alexik’s neighbors called firefighters after smelling fumes emanating from his penthouse in the 400 block of West Olympic Boulevard. Police broke down the door of the penthouse just as the man inside was escaping through a back window and down a fire escape carrying duffel bags.

The $3,400-a-month loft, which Alexik had leased by paying in cash a year in advance, contained sophisticated counterfeiting equipment as well as a cache of weapons, including an AK-47.

Investigators also found stacks of counterfeit $100 bills totaling $15,000, a camera tripod, the formula for a Molotov cocktail written on a wall and a mosaic of the Central Intelligence Agency seal on the floor.

Counterfeiting equipment and freshly printed $100 bills were found in his penthouse unit, which overlooked the U.S. Federal Reserve building on Grand Avenue, according to police.

Story From L.A. Times

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Author: a13

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