Here is a picture of Alex Rodriguez showing a little too much love to Derek Jeter during the Yankees loss to the Angels in game 3.  The butt smack in sports is a congratulatory gesture that athletes do to let the other guy know that he did a good job out there. Anyone who has ever played any kind of sports has probably had their bottom smacked at one point or another unexpectedly. Under normal society circumstances, this could be considered and threat to his manhood or a sign of attraction but like I said before it’s acceptable in sports SOMETIMES.

Here are the rules you MUST follow if you are going to be walking around smacking teammates asses. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

1. Pick one ass cheek or the other -  Just like with anything else in life, there is NO middle ground here. You have to be decisive about which ass cheek you are going to hit because if you fall somewhere in between you are going to have issues.
2. No cupping – As you can see in the picture above, A-Rod’s hand is clearly wrapped around the ass cheek.  That should never happen, I repeat THAT SHOULD NEVER HAPPEN.  Your hand should be kept flat at all times, nobody likes a surprise groper.
3. Girl on girl ass smacking is preferable – Is there anyone in the world who doesn’t like a little semi-lesbian action from time to time?  If there is, I am not one of those people.  The more women we have smacking ass everywhere, the better the world will be.  It’s like one of those things that you love that never seems to get old and you can never get enough of.
4. No oggling – Yet another rule that A-Rod broke.  We don’t want to know how cute Derek Jeter’s butt is or how soft/firm it is.  He looks like a proctologist giving Derek and deep examination.  NO!  Eyes chest level or higher during the ass smacking.
5. Only do it to congratulate good plays -  The ass smack is not something to be taken lightly.  It is not the same as a high five where you give the guy a high five after every free throw.  You are only allowed to do it to congratulate teammates or to lift their spirits but mainly just to congratulate.  Don’t just go around greeting teammates with ass smacks before the game.  You will be lonely on the bench.
6. Only one player is allowed to smack at a time – No ass smack gangbangs please.  One player at a time, one cheek at a time and that’s it.  It gets kind of confusing if multiple hands are back there and if your teammate breaks one of the rules, you don’t want to be accused of being the culprit.
7. Fingers should stay together at all times – I’m looking at A-Rod again on on this one.  There should never be a time when you clearly see in indent on the players ass from your fingers.  It should just NOT happen.  Some might not take it lightly and put an indent of their fist in your forehead.  That’s not the way to bring the team together.
8. Make it an ass tap – No lingering around the ass area too long.  No holding your hand there or having conversations while your hand is there.  Make it a quick “in and out” smack.  That’s it.  I’m serious about this one.
9. Make sure it is during play – After the game ass smacks are questionable, towel smacks are unacceptable, smacking random asses on the street is downright dangerous. Just ask this guy….
   
10. Limit your smacks to 3 per game - Do not smack the same players ass more than three times in a game.  It will just start to get weird and he will probably get nervous and keep his ass as far away from you as possible.  I bet we won’t see very many more Derek Jeter/A-Rod as smack incidents this postseason.

If there are any rules that I forgot, make sure to leave them in the comments.

For those of you who were wondering how Washington Capitals Star Alexander Ovechkin got so damn good at hockey. Besides the years he’s spent practicing and learning the game of hockey, he’s got a secret weapon… Sex.

Here is an excerpt from an interview of his that I found over at Puck Daddy.

Q. How do you prepare for the game? Is it true that you can’t have sex before the match?

OVECHKIN: Sex really helps, actually.

Q. Is that before or after the match?

OVECHKIN: Before and after.

That explains it. The full interview is available on the video above.

If you are one of the many stoners who have been fooled by your friends about effectiveness of getting high off of that bong water or you are just curious what it might be like to try that water, make sure you check out this small survival guide. Friends don’t let friends drink bong water.  Go———————>

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post’s poll.

A survey on moms who partake in marijuana smoking yielded some (semi) surprising results. Shout outs to the team at Chikii for conducting this survey. They surveyed hundreds of women nationwide between the ages of 25 and 60 years old. Out of that group, 52% admitted to using marijuana at least ten times a year. 27% smoked between one and seven times a week. And 78% of those women knew someone who got high on a regular basis.

This is just people who admitted it! We ALL know there are thousands of people who smoke regularly and refuse to admit it. If only everyone who smoked it admitted it, it would be legal by now.

Check out Mom logic for some individual stories of how marijuana has helped specific moms.

After getting this newfound knowledge about moms smoking, you should go and talk to your mom about it if you never have. Maybe if you smoke up with her, that will make her less annoying.

A man was arrested after allegedly posting an ad on Craigslist for weed. Police said undercover detectives replied to the ad and arranged to buy a bag from the 30-year-old dealer for $45. (Wait, that sounds like a good deal, what’s the guy’s number?)

Police reported that the dealer posted the ad in the classified section with the title “420 help is here” and listed a phone number, which detectives called and set up the meeting. The individual was arrested on charges of distribution and number for the dealer has been disconnected. (Damn!)

$@bs More by this author at: thesabs.com

For the most part sports are just a lot of fun. You get to have a reason to talk shit to your friends, a reason to dress up like an idiot, or a legit reason to cry when your team losses in the championship game.

With everything good in life though, there are always downsides. Parts of it that make it not so enjoyable. Here are 6 of the most annoying things that sports have to offer.

Players That Ruin Your Favorite Team

Every sport has those players that have exceptional talent.  They can make plays that shift the whole tide of games.  They’ll score that last minute goal or make the game winning shot but they also happen to be a virus.

Guys like Terrell Owens, Pacman Jones, and Ron Artest may look good on paper when they get traded to your team, but it’s only a matter of time before these guys get upset or angry and tear your team apart.

Players That Your Girlfriend Love More Than You

Ok so you know that your not that attractive, your middle aged, and your probably balding but somehow you managed to find the little cutie with the nice booty who actually watches sports.  You’re in love.

So you go to turn on the game and all you hear about is how cute Derek Jeter’s eyes are…

Or how Kyle Korver reminds them of one of the backstreet boys….

Or how cute Tom Brady’s butt is…

[Don't worry, I'll spare you the image on that one]

And all you wanted to do was watch the game, scratch your balls, and eat some hot wings…. Not necessarily in that order.

Horrible Play By Play Announcers

This can really the whole mood of a game.  How does it feel when you are all siked up for a game on Sunday and then you hear Bryant Gumbel’s voice.  I dunno about you but I mute the TV as fast as possible.

Whether it’s Pam Ward, Joe Buck, or Dick Vitale… The list of announcers who you wish they’d pay just to shut the fuck up never seems to end.

The Red Sox

Whether it’s the fact that they manage to get rid of every superstar minority player that comes through there (i.e. Manny, Nomar, Pedro, soon to be Big Papi) or if its the fact that as soon as the broke the curse they think they’re shit doesn’t stink or maybe it’s that fever pitch almost made me throwup but the Red Sox have to be the most annoying franchise in sports.

Their fans give constant reminders of why you should hate them.  If they won it last year, I would have hung up my hat on baseball, at least for a few years until they were rebuilding.

People Who Ruin The Ceremonial First Pitch

I’m not going to say much on this one, I’m just going let you watch some of the worst ones.

The Mayor is the funniest one.

Bad National Anthem Singers

The National Anthem is meant to honor our country and is sung before sporting events to fire up the crowd and get them excited for the matchup, but what happens when you mess up? Well you could just go back out there and try again but that doesn’t always turn out so good.

I want to hear from you guys. What are some more annoying things in sports that I missed?

My post about sports brawls from the other day has been getting a lot of buzz around the web lately. Thanks for all the love. Shout outs to the people who put me up on these brawls that I missed in the other post.

This brawl was from the current Ducks and Red Wings playoff series that is about to go to a game 7. Is it me or are the Red Wings always in some kind of crazy playoff brawl?

More fights afters the jump.

Montreal Canadiens vs Quebec Nordiques Vendredi Saint 1984 Parts 1 and 2.

Is that the most violent hockey game ever?

Yesterday I made a post about how hockey was only good when there were fights, I still stand by that statement, however this is the second best thing.

During a hockey game yesterday between the Bruins and the Maple Leafs, Milan Lucic decided that he didn’t like Mike Van Ryn that much. He thought he would look nice in the front row seat on someones lap so when he came up behind to him to give him a hit, that’s where Van Ryn ended up.

The possibility of being sent through a plexiglass wall is just one of the many reasons why black people don’t play hockey but if you like the look of having no teeth, by all means go for it.

I will be the first to tell you that hockey, generally isn’t my thing, or most people’s thing to be honest with you.  Sometimes I wonder why though.  You gotta love a sport where you can openly hit people, get into fights on the ice, and assault people with large wooden sticks (get your mind out of the gutter) and get away with it.

Here’s to the upcoming hockey season, full of fights and mayhem.

So the Ex-Senators goalie Ray Emery is denying reports that he loves to party and that he has a drug problem.

Well I doubt that he doesn’t love to party but the drug problem is kind of unfounded but that may have something to with the fact that he is unemployed right now.

“No, I don’t have a drug problem. I’ve heard that (rumour), yeah,” Emery told TSN’s Michael Landsberg on Off The Record yesterday. “People like to talk. People see you out and if you’re associated with anyone that’s seen as being like that, it snowballs.”

After a series of incidents last year with the Senators –involving a case of road rage, being late for practice and rumours of too much partying — Emery found no takers among NHL teams when the Senators bought out the last two years and $6.75 million (all terms US) remaining on his original three-year, $9.5-million contract. That made him an unrestricted free agent and he signed a one-year, $2-million deal with Atlant Mytishchi — in a suburb of Moscow — to play in the new Continental Hockey League next season.

Hopefully Emery can get himself back on track with a new gig in the NHL. If not then how will he support his drug habbit chillin with Snoop Dogg habbit.