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When you work from home, smoke weed and watch TV all day you have the privilege of seeing crappy daytime TV shows that most people miss because they have “real” jobs. I get to see all kinds of crappy talk shows, judge shows and Soaps that would never make it in primetime. One of my personal favorite happens to be the always loud and irate Judge Judy. People come to her small claims court hoping to get her to help them out, sometimes she does and sometimes she doesn’t but you can bet that someone is going to get yelled at.

She is very charming too, here are some funny quotes of hers via IMDB:

“She doesn’t like to work, she likes to make babies.”

“You, sir, are a low-life, amoral piece of crap!”

“[yelling] I don’t believe you!”

“I don’t care what you think! *I’m* the one who has to determine what is fair.”

“…And you ought to be ashamed of yourself!”

“If you live to be a hundred, you will never be as smart as me. On your BEST day, you’re not as smart as *I* am on my WORST day.”

“Have you ever heard of the K.I.S.S. principle? “Keep It Simple, Stupid.”

“This is not ‘Let’s Make a Deal,’ and I’m not Monty Hall!”

“When you mess around with jail-bait, you accept the consequences!”

“I’m here because I’m smart, not because I’m young and gorgeous… although I am!”

“This is my courtroom and I can say what I want. When you become a judge, we will talk.”

Charming huh? Here are some classic videos of hers as well.

eBay Scammer gets shut down by the Judge from hell.

Earthquake hits the show. No that wasn’t her farting, that was an actual earthquake. She got out of there hella quick.

World of what?????

Stoned people shouldn’t be on Judge Judy, we learned that last week.

“Not everything that has a pretty face is a nice person…” We all need to remember that one from time to time.

This guy is a skitzo but hilarious.