Doobie Cruising 101: 10 Rules For Smokin’ On The Road

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I'm not gonna lie to you. I smoke weed and drive. I don't know of a pot smoker who doesn't. Even C-List Celebrities do it! (like above, Misha Barton. Remember that show she was on called "The OC"? Me neither.) I smoke n' drive alone, and with friends. Some say it's not safe, and I only partially agree. I do however, feel like I am a better driver when I'm high. My senses are heightened and I always follow traffic laws to the letter (I'm just afraid of getting pulled over).

Here is a list of 8 rules that everyone who smokes while driving should follow. The first five rules are to help you avoid the police, but the rest are tips to make your time smoking more enjoyable.

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1) Only Smoke Rolled Bud- I might be guilty of not following this rule every time I cruise. I used to ride with a bowl and smoke, but after getting pulled over with the bowl in my glove box, I'll never do it again. I didn't get caught, but I was so nervous he was gonna ask to search my car, it ruined my high. Don't let this happen to you. Smoke only joints and blunts. You can eat a roach, you can't eat a bowl. (Unless you are retardedly high)

2) Hold It Like A Cigarette- If your smoking a joint while driving, hold that thing like a cig. I've passed numerous cops while smoking J's, and as long as you don't hold it like a roach, you'll never get pulled over. Cops don't assume everyone is smoking weed.

3) Smoke At Night- About 75% of my doobie cruising occurs at night. This is the prime time for road smokin'. Fewer cars on the road, fewer cops, and no one can see what your doing (or smoking) inside your car. This would be the only time of day I would recommend smoking a bowl.

4) If Not At Night, Drive In Rich Suburbs- This rule is only for smokers who don't live in a big city. Where I live, there are 100s of suburbs that seem to sprout up like weeds. Generic people living in generic houses who work at generic jobs who have generic kids. Not for me, but I love using their perfect cookie-cutter subdivisions as smoking spots. No one is ever outside (they have Tivo) and I doubt any cop is gonna patrol a place that has $750,000 houses lining the streets.

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5) If You Think You're Too High To Drive, You Are- Everyone knows their limits when it comes to marijuana. And although I believe driving high is 1000 times safer than driving drunk, sometimes you can be too high to drive. If you feel like this, crash on a buddies couch or wait to come down. It's not worth going to jail or crashing your car (or someone else's).

6) Ride With A Drink- Trust me you'll thank me later, after your done smoking, cotton mouth is gonna kick in and you'll be stuck in your car, drinkless. Bring a 20oz pop, or a water bottle or whatever, just keep it in your cup holder. I do this: Bring your J with you and go to a Speedway gas station. Buy one of the 42 oz Slurpee drinks and fill it with half frozen coke/half wild cherry. Smoke your J and drive around sipping on a Slurpee. Best Time Ever.

7) Music Is Essential- If you're fortunate enough to have a iPod hook-up in your car (like yours truly), make a playlist of songs you like to listen to high. Mine is called (of course) "High Mix". If not, make a mix CD. Radio isn't always reliable to play good music, and commercials are boring. I personally enjoy Wild Wood by Paul Weller.

8 ) Driving With Friends = Good Times- I enjoy smoking alone like any stoner, but nothing beats a doobie cruise with smoking buddies. Don't have more than 5 people in the car though. Roll up a fat joint, roll down the windows, turn on some singable music (Pusherman by Curtis Mayfield), and let the laughter commence.

9) Obey All Traffic Laws- You don't want to give the police any reason to pull you over. They are looking for you to mess up some small traffic law so they can pull you over. No need to have a cop come up to your window with your car reeking of weed. You will definitely be searched.

10) Be Aware Of Your Surroundings- Take a look around before you take a toke. Make sure you're not at a stop light with someone looking at you while hitting the blunt. You never know how people will take it. Most people have no care for people smoking. But you can get those idiots who call the police.

Good Times,

Kyler Durden & MisterMaryJane

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Author: Kyler Durden

Independent Filmmaker. I Write, Direct, Act, Edit, and Produce. Like writing in my spare time. And, I'm the biggest movie nerd you'll meet.

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  • adam

    Its actually not a good idea to ride through rich suburbs. i should know i live in one and thats all what cops look for is kids and young people smoking in subdivisions. Head out to the sticks or a back road somewhere. the bigger the houses the more likely they have subdivision watch.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/houroc houroc

    I agree with Kyler… Its been my experience that cops patrol the suburbs waaaaayyyyyy less than in a city or in the hood…. I've lived in all of the above.

  • concerned

    NEVER go through a rich suburb… or ANY SUBURB… those people do call the cops, they have nothing better to do in those rich houses but be paranoid about their expensive things. they will find you and think you are doing much worse than smoking. don't need that kind of vibe when high.

  • JJ

    You’re both right. The rich suburbs have more tax money for more cops. Look like you know where you’re going (ie Don’t circle more than once Twice if absolutely necessary)

    Also one rule I didn’t see but is VERY good rule of thumb:
    Only break ONE law at a time. its much harder to get caught that way.

  • phatty

    A really good thing to do is sit in your car while you get your car washed in one of those auto car wash places. It’s really fun.

  • tiffany

    umm maybe you should just NOT smoke and drive. has no one ever thought about that before? wow you are all stupid

    • patty

      Enter text right here!why even come on here if you don't want to learn form this get out don't come back !!!

  • Jay

    tiffany you stfu.

  • max

    uck it tiffany. GREAT ARTICLE, i always bowl it though, stinks less, or i have a vape and a adapter for the car. i like to park in the back of supermarket parking lots too. if ur off tax payer money= less cops, and if ur in a good spot u have good vision. sometimes if youre driving around alot after a blaze sesh a cigg is good after to “cover up” the smell, i dont even like ciggs its my only use for them

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/KylerDurden KylerDurden

    I've been doobie cruising in rich suburbs for years and have seen only one cop riding around the sub. And i agree with Max, but i usually light up a black and mild cigar, cuz those things have THICK smoke that gets rid of the smell quick. thx for the feedback!

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  • http://intensedebate.com/people/SUNand3Stars SUNand3Stars

    Haha! Great stuff. I wish I read this a long time ago. I had to learn all this stuff over time, but I still love doobie cruising. But the best is to be with the homeboys, with a drink of choice, some badass tunes (from the ipod of course) in the car, and driving through the rich neighborhoods at the speed limit (fun aww-ing and ooo-ing at the big ass houses). Great times…

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/ese_hozer ese_hozer

    Awesome post man. These definitely hit the nail on the head…The only other thing I can think of is keeping a business card on hand to make a roach killer, but that would be a night thing.

  • Tha Joo

    I just recently moved to the city I live in now and one of my favorite things to do is go exploring the city high. I usually will go ahead and pick a destination and just start taking random backroads to try to get there. One thing that always works for me too, if you are rolling by a cop and you got illegal stuff in your car, start picking your nose. Really get in there deep too. Put all your attention into it. I've done it every time and have never been pulled over when smoking, only times I've been pulled over is when stone cold sober.

  • meg

    meow

    • sirsmokeallot

      i live in the middle of the city i luv to ride and smoke. cops are every were. just be smart about it and u dont have to worry about da 50

  • Anne

    I'm an old doper from way back and the best way to visit Mary on the road is to pull into a cemetery.

  • adam

    i just know dont blaze in novi michigan cops here are dicks and would love nothing more then to catch someone blazing

  • Smokey McPot

    i never store my stash with my registration just in case i do get pulled over.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Jaa420 Jaa420

    The number one rule for any stoner driving at night should be to check all their lights before driving, wouldn't that be sad to get pulled over with a pungent kush blunt burning just because your left tail light was out.

  • http://www.CannabisResearchAZ.com Jim
  • Aj Presley

    I never ride and smoke in residential areas. I always do it on the freeway, with the windows down. That way if I get pulled over I can stretch out the time it takes for me to find a safe spot off the freeway to pull over. This also allows me time to air out the car of the weed smell. I also keep cigarettes in my car, so if I get pulled over after I’ve let the windows back up I spark up a cigarette so it REEKS of cigarette smoke in the car. When passing the doob amongst friends I always have them pass the doobie low and it never gets handed to me from the backseat and I never hand it to the backseat. I always have the front passenger do it. I always make sure lights and turn signals work. Registration and inspection are current and obey all traffic laws to the letter. The absolute BEST time to smoke is during rush hour traffic. Its AWFUL here in houston, but enough so that if anyone DID see me smoking, there’s absolutely NO WAY that a cop can get to me because its so congested. Nightime is always the best time to burn.

  • spoiled_sport

    A courtesy to the driver is to always pass the joint to them near the steering wheel so they don’t have to avert their eyes too much from the road. Not good if they have to reach over their shoulder to grab the joint, they may run off the road.

  • Jim Beam

    Everyone’s talkin about checking your lights….. I fully agree, BUT the ONE LIGHT folk forget to CHECK is they LICENSE PLATE LIGHT… uhhh, scoose me sir, I noticed your TAIL LIGHT was out & I had to let you know about th…. *sniff sniff* scoose me sir…. what’s that smell?