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Wow, wow, wow. Ok… I have to calm down. The NY times is reporting that Westword is looking for what would be the world’s first weed critic.  That’s wild business.  I want in.  Too bad it’s only for Colorado residents.  There are already thousands of people who have applied.

The idea is not to assess the green stuff itself, but to review the dispensaries that have sprouted like, um, weeds in Denver this year.

“We want to see what kind of place it is, how well they care for you and also how sketchy the place is,” said Patricia Calhoun, editor of Westword. “Do they actually look at your medical marijuana card? Do they let you slip some cash under the counter and bypass the rules?”

Last week, the paper published a call for a regular freelance reviewer with a real, doctor-certified medical need — asking each candidate to send a résumé and an essay on “What Marijuana Means to Me” — and received several dozen applications within a few days.

“Every time an application comes in, it’s like opening a little birthday present, because most of them are quite hilarious,” Ms. Calhoun said.

…Dispensaries promote different strains with distinctive flavors — there are, after all, marijuana snobs just as there are wine snobs — and some mix their wares into foods like hummus, pesto and chocolate. So why not critique the cannabis, too?

Shout outs to Reason for putting me up on this story.  I am just sorry to my Colorado readers that I didn’t report this sooner.  You can probably still apply but you had better make you tape magnificent and memorable.