Islamophobia: Will any Americans stand up to support this time?

This part has literally nothing to do with any of the rest of this, so you can totally skip it. I am not legally bound to anything that requires you to read this, so if you go against my advice, I just will refuse to go to court, okay. What I wanted to say is… Well, I would just like to let you know… Okay firstly, I’m a particularly slow writer (my bombastic writing style doesn’t help at all), so as I write, I’m going to narrate what’s happening in my head while I’m high, because I have a feeling it’ll be hilarious. Rofl. Just imagine a college aged girl dancing to “I’m blue, ah bah dee dah bah die.” That’s me rn. It’s awesome, ’cause I have blue in my hair, ahhaha. It’s 8 in the morning here as I’m writing right now, and I still haven’t fallen asleep (hence I got on here, for some entertainment at least!). Firstly, I’d like to just give a quick review on this strain…  While looking for cigs in my mom’s room, without even opening the airtight container that was in a closed leather bag I could still smell that smell that shit.

What the fuck is alternate text for? The caption? Wat. Idgi.
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 The kind that smells… Smelly. We can now safely conclude that Mr Krabs is both a stoner and he was never circumcised. Maybe a picture’s only worth 20some words idk man that’s serious, like with the rest I’m totally right though. 

I’m not some sort of professional chronisseur or whatever you wanna call it — where I live, nobody seems to realize there are different strains at all. Yeah, the stupidity amazes me as well. However, I do know one guy who does, chill as hell, I just usually get stoned and go through his crap and take pictures of random stuff in his room and he’s never minded, so I know he’s cool, cause I’d be pissed at me). When I saw him, he helped me — he realised I had never dealt with people who knew what they were doing, and by default I hadn’t gained the knowledge I needed to choose for my needs. I bought 1g of 3 different strains to sorta pick and choose to get a better feel and grasp on how I react; he knew most of it was going to my mum and that I’m sick as well, so he wanted to give me the best he could… As it turns out, diesel was the first (and only, so far) strain that has made my pain go down significantly, usually entirely — even sour diesel, biesel, NYC, white diesel, anything… Messing with the genetics of the plant is usually terrible for its effectiveness for me. I bought 1g mob boss, 1g biesel, and 1g diesel. I gave my mum the mob boss and we split the biesel, though I didn’t even want the second — Only one letter off, but there’s some huge genetic difference I’m missing, there’s gotta be. I had way bigger expectations for mob boss from reading about people loving it, same as biesel. But today that changed.

Well, today I went to go visit my mom.. She had what I thought was about .3 grams and I was pissed because I thought my brother in law ripped my mom off — she’s too close to blind to see properly and her hands shake too much to hand weigh it for reassurance. Thank GOD I got there, because it turns out the bud was just so dense that it’s probably a gram and a half. So that I loved in itself. My little redheaded Mary Jane! But I cracked it up and got ready to smoke [I usually use child scissors for this  but today I chose my hand, so don’t make fun of my short funds] and I found out… Well shit, it’s fucking purple. I’ve got purple diesel? Does this make sense, is this possible? I couldn’t believe my eyes — I know the smell so well particularly because it’s what I’ve found that helps me, so to have any difference scared me a little, though I do remember wanting to tell my mum I knew what the strain was after I went outside because it was oddly fruity on the exhale despite the classic skunky smell (and really, let’s be honest — skunks probably aren’t even real… I think parents just made up that concept so we wouldn’t realise people did “drugs” ever at all). I sat outside thinking, is this mixed with some sort of blueberry or blackberry flavour, what is going on?!

Overall, it’s my new favourite. It’s beautifully shiny with crystals, the buds are so small but pack such a punch. And the thing is, normally indicas make me want to just sleep — I have to use mmj for health problems, but one of my health problems is my narcolepsy that I’m trying to work around. Like, really, who wants to get couchlock when you’re already living with a disease that couchlocks you essentially? Hahaha. So I figured out it’s a sativa dominant, which I guess could explain why the inner bud was deep, dark purple but the outside looked just normal green normal orange hairs more trichomes than usual… I’ve also had a terrible headache and stressful last few hours/days/weeks/months, and it’s taking a toll on my migraines, but with this under my arm… Genuinely only got stoned probably in about 2x in the past three weeks but that’s it, which is fine with me, but during this time I want it to go away. So basically that’s me being emotional about … Las hierbas definitely help as well but it took my freedom away — the migraines I mean — I’m not able to look at my laptop screen (or even hear panties falling off…) without freaking out from the sensitivity to sound. I’ve just been wearing headphones with no music on to deafen the sound. It’s working for now… Mostly because it’s dead silent anyway, but.

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Hear that? That was the sound of my underwear dropping while I cry because it’s too loud. Hahaha.

Welcome back to the people who just scrolled through that. You saved yourself a lot of trouble by not reading that, as it has literally nothing to do with real life, just some dank hahaha. 

I don’t like broadcasting it, but for factual understanding, my father grew up in a middle eastern country — he’s lived half his life here in America but some things are deeply ingrained into his mind as what essentially is an automated feature he’s got, because of where and how he grew up in Pakistan [I remember talking to my uncle over a webcam and you could hear gunshots through the webcam from outside] my dad thinks differently… I’m talking like he put MasterLock key equivalents onto the cable box at our old house… He didn’t unlock anything PG until I was 17, and solely because it was a film class for which, understandably, attendance is like to a court case is a crucial factor, but I was in the middle of a court case and almost didn’t graduate because of that. Wasn’t ’til I told him that before he decided I could watch medical Ripley’s believe it or not, House, the news even. My mom’s the opposite, she’s like “I’ve got Parkinson’s and I still bet I could roll a better blunt than you.” (For the record, she started smoking pot when… I think she was eight. Eight or ten. So conflicting values on a personal level with my family are… Easy to imagine, but not possible to actually feel, if that makes sense. (Which it might not, I’m rereading some of my sentences wondering how I am.)

My dad was born in a city that is now Pakistani territory, but the war had just “ended” over there a little while before or after he was born. Put that on top of the fact they like pretending they love their families (they don’t, ever, I eavesdrop to see how much I can pick up on what they’re saying when they’re not speaking in English), that they know their families, that they have to impress their families financially, usually ending up in bankruptcies. That describes Dehsis to a T — dehsi is a completely non-derogatory word that’s meant to encompass people in that African, Middle Eastern/Asian crossover land, because they’re not quite white and not quite brown (look how nice I am, I just taught you something! 

Regardless, think about the concept for a second of blowing money you don’t have on a wedding, whether arranged between a 40some year old man and a 9 or 10 year old girl or people who met at school (they’re usually separated by gender though). These people are so obsessed with social standing that almost every person in my family has filed for bankruptcy at least once (I’m more than lucky that my branch didn’t end up in that situation). I don’t know if that’s more from India, but I wanted to talk about the news about Saudi Arabia that isn’t really being talked about, and while I understand why, I can’t understand why. I’m dehsi, native american, and redneck mixed up, so I can indeed see every side of the argument going on here whether I agree with them or not.

I’m waiting for someone to start telling me off in the comments or get quietly angry, ’cause I haven’t gotten to my point yet hahaha. I don’t know how much you readers know about the middle east — if it has “arab” in it or it ends with “-stan,”  you’ve pretty much got the area covered. What groups them together is the fact that not only is there no separation of church and state, it’s the same religion, and unlike a lot of religions that are conveniently deciding they don’t want bits and pieces because they’re inconvenient or make them uncomfortable, they’re still uptight about it. That’s not a bad thing necessarily — yeah, honour killings I could do without probably but being protective of women… They think we’re helpless. It’s just part of their culture. Now that world geography class is over, we can move onto current events… More stuff that they should teach at school and don’t.

I’m not a sob story, no — some things I find funny now. But after 9/11 especially, I got attacked a lot, my dad lost his job, etc… That’s just how it went. I always wanted to be the better person so I laid there and took the kicks to the face because at least I’m not hurting somebody, because you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to realise that kids who are bullies were bullied before, and usually by their own family. So I’ve forgiven and I’m comfortably distant from everyone except my fiance and my mom and 1 real friend ’cause everything else fucked up.

Spending so much of my life being called filthy middle eastern slurs I don’t care to repeat, I still care about the reality of islamophobia, because not only do I have an obviously middle eastern name and therefore can never get out of the prejudiced trap, I know there are people who have it much worse — I’m a mix, so sometimes when I’m getting beat up it’s WHERE ARE YOUR PAPERS BEANER instead of the terrorist things. Not everyone gets that luxury, to speak Spanish and be able to hide under that and pretend to be hispanic during times when it’s, ah, more convenient — it can be the difference between getting curbstomped versus people I didn’t know screaming I smell like curry just for the public humiliation value. For the goddamn record, I hate curry anyway. I don’t even know why, but that pissed me off I cried. High school was only fun while high..

I also have become accustomed to hearing there are real people going through real suffering right now and now that it’s WWW… (That stands for WORLD. WIDE. WEB., people!) anything .com, you’re in. You are fully public. You cannot trust “privacy policies” all the time… Copy and paste is a bitch! Then ten, twelve, fourteen, sixteen ear old girls, and a smaller but still alarming number of men as well, sleeping with people (aka getting passed out drunk) and a bunch of guys having their way with her at a party, right outside by a lake in one case according to the police… Just kidding, CNN showed some lovely pixelated clips of the rape taking while laughing and the video went viral… Who would have thought #rape would be trending? But the thing is, it’s not only is it a rape epidemic, or a UK epidemic, or Japanese. People kill themselves here too.  but a death one: most of these girls have to go through so much court bullshit that not only does it trigger her every time either of those “men” are in the same room as her, court or not, she and her mother have both spoken openly, saying that the girl wants to leave it behind — she can’t remember it anyway — she wants to build a new life. Note that I’m not trying to objectify this girl by not giving her a name, she’s too young and with the nature of the crime they don’t release names.

The big problem is that this isn’t new. For whatever reason, this story of this one, two, five suicides after rape or cyberstalking , it completely describes and and doesn’t at all exaggerate the true trauma of western culture, which also seems to be a pro-rape culture as well. One, it gives crazy people more reason to do it again and again — serial pedophiles, if you want to get technical — by having them go into treatment for a few months, listed as a sex offender, and not allowing them to be around children… Prisons are supposed to be a rehabilitation of the justice system and the law. This just tells kids “wow they did that THAT many times before they got caught? that’s awesome!!” or, when it comes to online death or rape threats toward an intelligent social activist, a fully grown woman, and she decided even she was tired of it, and now her activism is focusing on helping people who were being threatened like she was — block, delete, new account, block, delete. With graphic descriptions of what this “man” wanted to do to her for “having her mouth open” instead of waiting on him. The police tracked his IP address and he was arrested for harassment, terroristic threats, cyber threats, stalking, etc. I think it’s important

It’s become  a “fad” in Pakistan amongst SCHOOL children to hurt themselves to the point of needing transfusions and getting stitches. We rank as one of the top most hated countries in the world, and yet, we could wear our clothes inside out solely because we wanted to and knew we could screw with people on a literally global scale. Eastern culture adopting western traditions for me always appeared in my mind as things like weird Indian rap, weird Arabian dubstep (if you close your eyes you travel into the Taj Mahal no joke), and really ugly clothes with random as fuck English words on them because English is magical idek.

THE MOTHERFUCKING POINT: In short, this weed is bomb, but no one even cares what happened today. Saudi Arabia a country that completely outlaws every woman the right to be in possession of firearms even for self defense iirc, and I know for sure they can’t drive at all. Burkas are, ah, encouraged, and the NYPD’s pepper spray fetish would probably be a lot more fun than what cops in a third world country would do. Saudi women can’t drive because they’re necessarily bad drivers… They can’t because it’s against the law. Original cars didn’t have automatic and you had to actually manually pull the wheels using the steering wheel to make a turn. To reduce the risk of a woman pulling a muscle in her arm from doing that, etc etc… To just say they can’t is a lot easier.

However, I was laying on the floor crying earlier, it’s just so unbelievable to me, that there could be such a huge turnaround seemingly with no buildup. Plus, Saudis are considered the “purest” Muslim followers, so any government that rules under dictation of the Qur’an is very, very likely to end up following. I want one day to have a child that can go to school and not have the principals, teachers, students, students’ parents, everyone they ever meet to deal with being a dune coon, a camel jockey, a dothead (by kindergarten people would take red markers to my forehead and hold me down to “fix me”), a half-bred, a kafir, an al-hajji, una pocha, a dirty paki, a pikey, a camel jockey, a computer management specialist, a doctor, anything. A raghead, a towelhead, a wetback. Muzzie. Confused desi. Chee Chee. Maybe there will be a day when I can go outside and not be worried. But for now I can sleep in peace knowing that women can call and report it if they’re being hurt. Not having help is the worst, and when the government finally decides to protect its women and children, damn right I’m gonna fucking tell someone. ‘Cause people are still talking about the stupid VMAs. Yesterday is probably gonna be in history books, and I’m the only one who knew it happened. lmfao.

Yes this does have to do with weed because Saudis love hash and alcohol has a specific Haad (punishment) for drinking any at all. I win. Hahah. 

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  1. Profile photo of DavidB
    David B September 2, 2013 at 20:32

    Love this.

    1. Wishy Panda Hafeez September 23, 2013 at 18:59

      Thank you! God damn I was high when I wrote this, I have no recollection of this at all lmfao.

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