This is a Guest Post from our friends over at Weed Maps.
Being high as hell is fun in the right environment. Let’s be honest though; it’s easy to accidentally float out of your comfort zone and end up in places that are not so accommodating to your state of mind. There’s nothing quite like feeling awkward as hell while being high as hell. It almost makes you want to go back to the Medical Marijuana Dispensary and return their medicine. Weddings, jobs, and holidays with the family can be awkward, but it’s usually neither the family gatherings nor the work place that leave you feeling that way. Most people have enough of a routine down from dealing with those circumstances over and over that it’s possible to get through your granny’s 98th birthday party or an office manager’s rag session without feeling too awkward; auto pilot simply takes over in a situation that’s been encountered before. It’s those places you don’t regularly frequent that become real awkward, real quick, usually because you’ve underestimated the unfamiliarity of the scenario. Hit the jump for a rundown of some of the most awkward places to be high as hell, in absolutely no particular order of importance.
Most people can get through any church service high as hell; most of it is routine, most of it is familiar, and as long as you don’t reek of weed, most people will assume you are being introspective rather than spaced out. You don’t even have to interact with people if you stick your head in the hymnal or the bible and wait for the service to start. Church suppers, however, are entirely different. Not only are you expected to interact, but you are expected to interact with people who most likely aren’t high, have never been high, or will never be high. Kids are running rampant making very strange crafts, and parents, being in dreamy Jesus mode, are far more lax than usual with their discipline. Everyone has their God game on, and they can’t help gossiping about you going back for your fifth serving of Mrs. Jackson’s raisin cream pie. Ladies in starched dresses and raised eyebrows say they knew your mom, while men in suits smirk and also say they knew your mom. The food is awesome, but the atmosphere is unnervingly wholesome.
Hopefully, you are not in the emergency room due to some catastrophe, but let’s be honest, that’s not likely. Being high as hell, you’ve probably done something only a person high as hell would do. Now you need to be sharp witted enough to remember your blood type, next of kin, and where your insurance card is located, or at least your medical marijuana card. You also have some explaining to do about why you were standing on a skateboard trying to cast a fishing line.
Rodeos, Tractor Pulls, and Bull Riding Events:
The atmosphere is rowdy, loud, dusty, and testosterone saturated. These are not the types of places to be laid back; whether you are male or female, you better have your swagger on. You’d feel far more comfortable being drunk off of the watered down beer from the concession stand rather than being high as hell. Things get even more awkward when you have to call a friend to bring you gas money because you spent forty bucks on American flag sparkly wands and a horse themed belt buckle as large as your laptop.
PTA meetings are boring and redundant, but you attend them in order to gain parent brownie points within the parent/teacher circles. Being high as hell, however, does not make it any easier to tolerate the long winded speakers and their annoying inside jokes. It is impossible not to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, and there you are: busted for snickering in your metal chair during a serious speech about poodle skirts for the 50’s theme dance. There is also a lot of voting, which means a lot of hand raising. If you’re not focused, you could end up being the only parent voting against fixing the rusty, jagged metal on the monkey bars.
The Karaoke Stage:
Karaoke stages are for drunk as hell people, not high as hell people. Why did they put a medical marijuana dispensary right next to a Karaoke bar? You might deserve some slack here because most likely some twisted friend of yours dragged you up there by telling you it was the entrance to the balcony out back where you could get some fresh air; you know, because you’re high as hell and you need some air. Is that the bar menu you are reading off of while singing, or the lyrics screen? And no, people probably don’t want to hear your folk rendition of Eye of the Tiger while you’re equally high as hell friend plays bongos in the background.
Be high as hell if you want, but remember: some places are more awkward than others. If you do end up at any of the previously mentioned places after smoking on marijuana, good luck! At least you’ll probably have some great stories to tell later. Let us know in the comments the most awkward situations you’ve been in whilst accompanied by Ms. Mary Jane.
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