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As everyone knows, the Oscars were on last night.  Jesse James’ wife and THE DUDE got Best Actress and Best Actor Wins, and my personal favorite The Hurt Locker destroyed the psyches of all the Avatar fans, by winning the Oscar for Best Picture.  I was giddy with happiness, and hope Avatar dorks used their tears to lubricate themselves as they masturbated with their Na’vi doll’s.  See all the winners here.

It brings special satisfaction to Katheryn Bigelow (the director of Hurt Locker AND POINT BREAK above right) who became the first woman ever to win for best director.  Also, when The Hurt Locker beat out Avatar for best picture, it brought her a supplemental dose of revenge because she was married to Jimmy Cameron from 1989-1991.  Pile on the fact that she is SMOKIN’ HOT for her age (58), and Suzy Amis–Cameron’s current wife pictured top left–isn’t.  So big ups to Bigelow for breaking the director’s glass ceiling AND shoving it in her exes face.

Most readers already know what happened, and if not, you probably already will once this finally gets posted, but check out HMJ’s favorite moment of the night after the jump.

This is the opening monologue with Steve Martin and Alex Baldwin.  Skip to 5:03 for our favorite moment with Woody.

Hope you enjoyed the Oscars as much as we did.