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Marijuana never hurt anyone. Not saying that smoking it will make you win eight gold medals or anything but it can’t hurt. Just ask Michael Phelps who walked away from the ESPY’s last night with five more awards to add to the wall.

Less than six months after shocking the sport world, bonghitter Michael Phelps was showered with five 2009 ESPY Awards – for Best Male Athlete, Male Olympic Athlete, Record-Breaking Performance, Championship Moment and Moment (shared with his relay team) – all due to the eight medals he won at last summer’s Olympics.

Host Samuel L. Jackson joked early about Phelps, “Nobody gives you a hard time when you smoke the competition.” And Wyclef Jean repeated the phrase, “Smoke the competition like Mike Phelps,” in a song.

Phelps thanked his mom, Debbie, who accompanied him, his coach Bob Bowman and fans, explaining: “This all started with a dream, to do something no one has ever done before… Have a good one.”

Even American Heroes smoke weed.