I am a marijuana smoker. I am a cigarette smoker, for now.
It is hard for me to admit that. I despise cigarettes. I feel like there is a dark cloud over me and I am a slave whenever I light up a cigarette. I feel like I am getting closer to being able to live a life free of cigarettes but every time I feel like I am getting closer to escaping, the slave master comes and pulls me back.
It all started with an ex who showed me that smoking cigarettes felt nice when you had them after having a few drinks. The ironic thing was, I was always warned about marijuana being the gateway drug but I tried both cigarettes and alcohol before marijuana and have not tried any hard drugs since. That is in part due to the lack of desire for that and partially as a personal commitment I made to prove that marijuana is not a gateway drug. Haven't even tried shrooms, which I hear are pretty cool.
I got into the habit of smoking after I drank and smoking after I smoked (marijuana). Over the years I noticed many people around me who were either open to smoking both or strictly opposed to putting any tobacco in their body whatsoever. I have run into people who mix marijuana and tobacco in the same joint to create spliffs. I met many people who, like me, felt that they were more addicted to the act of smoking than cigarettes.
In one way of the other, all weed smokers will come across the challenge of how to handle tobacco in one way or the other.
Some choose to happily smoke cigarettes. I will not judge these individuals but I am choosing a different path.
I am choosing freedom.
Cigarettes are bad for obvious health reasons to nonsmokers but nicotine is one of the most addictive substances ever known to mankind. According to some, it is more addictive than heroin. I will never know because I will never touch heroin but I do know that cigarettes suck. I wake up coughing and wheezing. My energy levels are nowhere near where I know they could be. I lose strength every time I smoke and it literally feels like my immune system is getting weaker with every pull. Yet I still smoke.
They fool you. They fool you into believe that you need them to fill some sort of void that you somehow never needed to fill in this capacity before you got addicted. Most smokers smoke subconsciously without allowing themselves to
I have tried many different ways to quit and have found little luck with them. I have really come to the conclusion that this will have to come from me but it will not be a matter of will, it will have to come from a fundamental shift in my daily thought pattern and habits as they pertain to my mission in life. I have a responsibility to the greenies, to my religious organization, to my co-workers, to my family and most of all to myself to not allow myself to succumb to accepting defeat in this battle. This is literally a fight for my life. It is a fight for me to love and appreciate my life. Yesterday was Valentines day, I am really vowing to love myself and HMJ more than ever.
I feel like I am a strong person but I am asking for help from the greenies on this. I would like feedback from everyone who has any experience dealing with this on any level. Please leave your thoughts in the comments. I want to hear from you if you are a happy smoker, if you are trying to quit, or if you will never smoke a cigarette in your life. I want to hear your struggles and challenges with this. Do you feel like your weed smoking has an effect on your cigarette smoking? Will you ever quit? Have you resorted to e-cigarettes? I want to know. This is not impossible.