So you want to buy weed? Tired of getting weed from your friends and want to finally venture out and buy weed on your own? Hail Mary Jane has you covered. Until weed is legal everywhere and you can just go into stores and buy it like in Amsterdam, you need to be careful. Follow these new weed buyer rules and you should stay out of trouble with the cops and stay in good graces with you weed man which is crucial.
Notice: Putting your email in the comments and asking for weed in a certain areas could get you into a lot of trouble…or high. Be safe, we don’t want to see any Greenies get into trouble.
- Know the slang for weight. When your dealer asks how much you want, you want to be able to tell him and know what you are talking about. Examples… Eighth = 3.5 grams, Half = 14 grams, O = 28 grams (1 ounce), Nicks, Dimes, Dubs, Quo’s.
- When calling/texting your dealer, be as discreet as possible. DO NOT text saying dumb shit like “Do you have any weed?” or “How much does a dime cost?” Some dealers are ultra paranoid and that may get you cut off.
- If you plan on buying larger quantities, invest in a scale. You don’t want to get screwed on quantities and not all dealers are trust worthy. The more discreet the better.
Greed Edit: I’ve had the iPhone scale an it is horrible. Not worth the price. I suggest a normal scale that’s around $20 works fine.
- A lot of the time, dealers will give you a great deal the first time and then you may notice your bags getting lighter and lighter. If this happens, ask the dealer how much is in the bag and either weigh it or ask him to (if you can).
- If you are meeting up with your dealer or they are delivering, you have to be patient. I know, it sucks but a lot of dealers are on “stoner time” and will take a while to get there. You just have to deal with it sometimes but you have to realize they have lives too.
- Here are some examples of the proper way to ask your dealer for weed via phone/text: “What up? got any?” “hey man, you good?” or “Can I meet up with you.”
- Find a good spot to stash your weed while getting it home. Either in your car or on your person. DO NOT put your weed in that little pocket in your jeans, that’s the first place cops look. Discreet stash boxes come in handy. They now have Arizona Iced Tea, Monster Energy, household items, pantry supplies and soda can looking stash cans.
- If you are a female, being a little flirty can have it’s perks. Guys are suckers for cute girls and when it comes down to it, he will give you the bigger bag than he will give me if he even thinks there’s a chance with you.
- Master the pass and go handshake. If you are dealing with guys in the street or in public, often times they will pass you the weed and expect you to pass the money simultaneously. It’s not that hard, just practice with a friend if you need to.
- If you are buying small quantities, have exact change! No one wants to have the extra work of giving you change for the dime you just bought if they don’t have to.
- Look comfortable. If you look nervous, it will make your dealer nervous. Just act casual like you do this everyday (which you probably will be soon).
- If you can, go get your bag yourself directly from the dealer. No friends, co-workers, girlfriends or anything like that going to get it for you. No one likes the friends that pinch your bag and unfortunately that happens so you have to be careful.
- If the time and place is right, offer to smoke up your dealer from time to time. They probably like weed as much as you do and that will help you to build a rapport with them which may get you better deals in the future.
- Make sure to ask your dealer what kind of weed you are buying. Look at it and smell it as well. That way you will know whether or not you are buying dank weed or just some schwag. You don’t want any surprises when you get home. Know about your weed better by using Leafly.
- Understand supply and demand and keep your ears to the streets. Weed is just like any other commodity. The price goes up and down all the time. Just because you got gram for $20 three months ago doesn’t mean the prices are going to be the same today. Be informed, know what you are buying.
What did I miss? Leave more rules for noobs in the comments everyone.
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