42.0 Ways To Tell If Someone May Be A Stoner

Stoner friends are the best. If you have no bud, they might have some and come and blaze with you. You laugh together, cry together, and cough up smoke together. Finding new smoking buddies makes me very excited but you have to be careful trying to find new friends who smoke because afterall, it is illegal and all.

Have you ever been suspicious of a co-worker or friend being a stoner but you weren’t sure? Here are 42.0 ways for you to find out if you potentially have a new smoking buddy or not. These are not all true for every smoker so they won’t always apply but many of them apply to many smokers.

Hopefully no cops are reading this.  If you are a cop, leave my page immediately, but click on some ads before you go.

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123 Comments

  1. Smergy burglar September 4, 2016 at 15:23

    But what if I think my boss smokes?

    1. Profile photo of Lenny
      Lenny September 4, 2016 at 16:49

      Hahahaha good point

  2. TheEmperorOfWorlds October 19, 2015 at 01:57

    Smokes? For what purpose?

  3. Iris December 1, 2014 at 13:59

    Everyone always assumes I’m a stoner ever though I’m not. I often have people if I can sell them weed. I have tried weed and hate it with a passion. It makes my whole body hurt and makes me panicy and to start feeling like everyone hates me or that I’m a freak or something. I’m just naturally mellow, creative and laid back without that stuff.

  4. […] Pitino’s press conference doodles [Holy Taco] 42.0 ways to tell if someone may be stoner [Hail Mary Jane] Getafe and creepily BK team up [The Slanch Report] Sexy German model Lena Gercke [DJ Mick] on205th […]

  5. Nugmurphy May 7, 2014 at 21:00

    Reppin 401!

  6. BongRippyTrippyHippie October 30, 2013 at 17:05

    Haha, I got a good laugh outta this … Stay trippy, much love

  7. madi October 2, 2013 at 19:12

    you feel the vibes maaan?

  8. jonny novak September 5, 2013 at 09:40

    D.A.N.K to keep kidz off shwagg

  9. Jesus August 27, 2013 at 23:49

    I’m a cop.

    1. banana_king August 9, 2014 at 08:47

      omg jesus is a cop!

      1. Plastiek October 22, 2014 at 09:05

        This explains so much!

  10. ROOR@me August 1, 2013 at 04:58

    Pretty dank list! Rhoto silver’s for the win (if you’ve got a pair). I have to say thanks for the movie and music lists. Got some good pics on here too. Had a good laugh after I came back from watching TV only to read “can barely make it to the end of a list like this without getting distracted.” Good stuff…

  11. Lemar Chalice simpson February 8, 2013 at 01:40

    Yea I remembered just starting collage last year and met this dude who was always smiling and after settling down an becoming acquainted when ever he is not writing notes he kept holding the pen like a blunt and smiling.As for me my extra black burnt lips gives me a way.

  12. OogaBoogaKillaMonsta December 2, 2012 at 15:40

    Lol I got distracted about halfway down Thr list and I only remembered this an hour later when I turned my phone on lol. 😀 hit the hay buds 😀 haha

  13. Buddy December 2, 2012 at 15:39

    Lol I got distracted about halfway down Thr list and I only remembered this an hour later when I turned my phone on lol. 😀 hit the hay buds 😀

  14. @iam_tochy November 15, 2012 at 13:20

    Just started..it’s really nice getting high…from Nigeria

  15. Bob November 13, 2012 at 15:50

    Stoner for life ma niggas!!

  16. Yahweh Smokes November 6, 2012 at 10:20

    I have observed that the stoners are physically attractive, optimistic & straightforward (instinctively honest, decent people). They tend to be more intelligent and evidence-based sort of persons. One is drawn to their personalities, since they communicate 'fun' and 'well-being' in their facial and bodily features!

    Those who lie, cheat & steal in business and government jobs despise stoners, since stoners intuitively avoid them for the social plague such human scum represent. There will be a moral revolution in our society (USA) when MaryJane is legalized!

  17. TrippinNugz420 October 4, 2012 at 22:25

    all stoners zone out all the time ha ive become quite pro at it xD
    stay trippy n high
    duces

  18. KVSH MONSTA69 August 24, 2012 at 22:05

    who can get me a good connection.

  19. gingerguest August 7, 2012 at 02:20

    dude, i was most of these BEFORE i ever toked lol. friend in an old band would always ask if i was stoned haha

  20. Champ August 4, 2012 at 13:53

    I had a supervisor who always ask to barrow my lighter and the first thing he does after lighting his cig is look at the bottom of my lighter and give me a knowing look when he would see black stuff on it, so I had keep my toking lighter at home and a non burnt one in my car.

  21. Gary Maxwell May 3, 2012 at 16:21

    Or if they got long hair. Some people say that to me. "Oh you got long hair, You must be a stoner."

  22. bptr May 1, 2012 at 02:02

    This article was dumb as hell and not funny. But the pic of the chick smoking a bong with her tits hangng out above her hot legs and ass was worth it all.

  23. ganjaninjaxtremesmoke420 April 6, 2012 at 15:38

    efffry1 in da world shuld be a stoner, LEGALIZZZE POT 2012

  24. mrpurps March 21, 2012 at 19:32

    people who use the word "dank" are 100% stoner!

  25. Connie February 22, 2012 at 21:48

    i asked my teacher once but i only poped up with a random Q. once and a while and she would always answer. and she was a stoner!! her favorite color was green, she used the eyedrops or watever they are, and was ALWAYS TIRED. and she had a van that was painted like that and she also was a hippy and “had to get away from it almost everyday” so most of the time we had a sub…..but that was a LONG time ago….but im not as old as you think i am

  26. Roscoe P. Coltrane January 20, 2012 at 14:13

    I had a gf who would burn her acrylic thumb and index nails from trying to finish the roach all the time. Eventually, I had to get her a pipe. She was such a sexy stoner.

  27. bill December 22, 2011 at 14:29

    lol… #42. teachers. i go to college and know a lot of pot smoking future teachers.

  28. dannyson19 December 21, 2011 at 13:23

    I have a huge Bob flag with christmas lights around it. People never think twice to ask where da dank at lol

  29. dannyson19 December 21, 2011 at 13:18

    be careful of number 27 which is a good indicator but the person might be a cook or a baker which im sure they hit good dank….aww dam im a cook lol there mind im high

  30. 420:D December 13, 2011 at 00:25

    Diff moods all most every time ur with em.

  31. Rachel November 6, 2011 at 15:24

    Ha! The alpha-stoner in our group usually makes it a point to steal our lighters and rip off the safety before returning it to us. I get kinda pissed sometimes when I get my lighter back and the top is mangled. Oh well. :p

  32. guest+ November 5, 2011 at 22:13

    KIDS< PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE follow rule number 42!!! Your teachers really enjoy educating you and may very well keep your red eyed secret. but NEVER ask your teacher that question. It can ruin careers during these confusing and economically fucked times.
    Now… get your hpmewrok started!!!
    I'll relax….hehe

  33. bigsherm1957 September 26, 2011 at 13:05

    If they like to golf or go fishing, what do you think they are doing out there? Why do they need to "get away from it all" ?

    If you do like to smoke and golf, try http://bighittergolfpipes.com!

  34. Sleep's dopesmoker September 19, 2011 at 15:26

    thank god i live in holland, is just ask the dude if he wants to smoke a joint

  35. smokeweed August 15, 2011 at 20:17

    31. What about BC and Portland, OR?!

  36. Mike Sandy July 19, 2011 at 20:33

    You can tell a stoner when the subject of stoners is forgotten in the forum over a slight oversight of a zipper being down. Way to get shit done 🙂

  37. HippyGirl420 July 7, 2011 at 13:29

    on no.11 the dudes fly is down

  38. Dispensary Reviews June 15, 2011 at 16:09

    33 is apt for many that I know, although I wouldn’t actually consider the topics or subject matter discussed to be irrelevant.

  39. oldster June 10, 2011 at 23:19

    How to tell older stoners? They have Grateful Dead stickers on their car. They really need their medicine because the old arthritis flares up all the time. If male, has a long grey ponytail and beard. If female, is partial to tiedye muumuus. Still says "farout, man" or "trippy".

    1. Mike Sandy July 19, 2011 at 20:31

      It's true. My grandpa was a huge stoner and he dropped a lot of acid in his day too. "Far out, Mick" That's all I hear when he's around.

  40. limpit norman June 4, 2011 at 09:06

    didn't get distracted until no 34 cuz my favourite colour is green then i sat back and thought i was born to be a pickle and got dead proud of myself for ending up smoking weed

  41. HitTheShit March 23, 2011 at 17:20

    This shit waz a trip. (oo)
    v

  42. Victorious January 7, 2011 at 21:39

    I know exactly what you mean by the "stoner 6th sense." It's like our souls instantly bond the second another smoker walks into the room.

  43. iamfwomwome December 21, 2010 at 12:56

    good list, but 1 pound = 454g

  44. smokethatblunt December 14, 2010 at 13:45

    33.They always got some intellectual shit to say even though its usually irrelevant. describes me a good bit loll

  45. Seth November 15, 2010 at 16:02

    When u burn your bangs from lighting a blunt or joint

    1. phil November 27, 2010 at 22:40

      yeah but that usually comes out if you wash your hair.

  46. codyGREEN November 9, 2010 at 20:02

    i fell under 38 of these

  47. Drew October 30, 2010 at 02:46

    You forgot "if they have a kottonmouth kings tattoo. That's usually a dead giveaway… JS. xD

  48. Mo_wizzle October 26, 2010 at 23:24

    it took me 15 mins to rad the list..then i got the one about not making it through the list..nearly dropped my L i was laughing so hard!!! hahahhaaha

  49. Mary October 23, 2010 at 05:53

    LOL that guys zipper is down

  50. Cannabeetch October 18, 2010 at 01:35

    hahaha brochacho, props on this list, it's so true.

  51. Some Guy October 10, 2010 at 02:59

    arent most stoners skateboarders

    i think my friends are stoners…

    by the way im from Albany OR too

  52. mean_salad October 4, 2010 at 04:00

    most of the items on this list are true when it comes to me hehe but i really love #40 cus is true… my dog knows when im gonna smoke and literally begs for me to blow my hit in her face 😀

    1. elkachonga July 20, 2011 at 07:43

      that's when you know your dogs a stoner lol. give your dog a pat on the head from me, he's a good boy!!!

  53. bair September 28, 2010 at 21:07

    hahaha im so stoned and for some odd reason this shit halarious haha, shitt.

  54. JonnySmokesAlot September 10, 2010 at 21:54

    When they are all calm, then they hear something n get serious and paranoid for a sec, then they go back to normal. Just say "Where the bud at" and you'll know fo show. This site is dank bro. Now I know why my favorite color is purple!

  55. Ihave noclue August 15, 2010 at 03:20

    this was funny. it took me an hour bc i had to think about everyone and how it was tru. and laugh to my self. and do other things,, but hahah i dont know man it was tight but some were soo off dude. but. uh yesah

  56. loub August 1, 2010 at 01:11

    haha that's hella funny

  57. crazysquid July 20, 2010 at 13:46

    You forgot the complete collection of Cheech and Chong movies, retro copies of High Times magazines and The Fabulously Furious Freak Brothers comic book collection. If they have these then they ARE or WERE a Stoner.

  58. ganjaman420 July 8, 2010 at 19:41

    when they can't remember what they just said

    1. elkachonga July 20, 2011 at 07:38

      car keys lol

  59. dukester July 8, 2010 at 18:26

    in between BC and Oregon you find the mecca of stoners Seattle, WA. If youre from there you re a stoner fo sho ! represent 206 & 425

  60. jesussmokes July 1, 2010 at 10:23

    is #12 true?

    1. smokethatblunt December 14, 2010 at 13:46

      with some people yes i have seen ppl ik smoke pot holding it like a joint

      1. N.O.B October 9, 2011 at 20:49

        I always hold it like that. I even hold bowls like that when i pass and receive them.

        1. N.O.B October 9, 2011 at 20:51

          I think its when you start smoking J's before you smoke cigs.

          1. Roscoe P. Coltrane January 20, 2012 at 14:01

            That's me. I smoked pot for years before smoking cigs regularly. I only started smoking cigs because I took a job with randoms and had to stop smoking weed for a while but still had the smoking habit. People would always comment on how funny I held the cigarette. Eventually, I adapted and now I hold joints like a cigarette.

  61. smokingMarine May 2, 2010 at 02:53

    Now I havent smoke in close to a year and a half cas of the Marine Corps, but I must say that I really cant agree with all of these. Now some are true, with the black on the lighter and the fact it doest have a saftey. Idk, ii still have that 6th sense to spot out stoners. Everyone in my unit knows i was a stoner from the moment i got here. But just by slow reaction and slow talking. Taking a period of time to finish a answer. Being overly calm. And just your laugh in general.

    1. isa May 9, 2010 at 22:59

      How come everyone I've met on the internet who claims to be a Marine is fucking illiterate?

      1. Girl314 January 13, 2011 at 19:25

        Do you even know what illiterate means?

  62. jllvalentine April 14, 2010 at 01:08

    I don't know what a "1/2th" is but I'd say anyone who does is a stoner.

    1. Jimb November 14, 2012 at 13:43

      "Half..eth..?" Ask your connect for one, see how that goes haha

    2. john May 16, 2012 at 00:15

      a half oz

    3. Mikeking January 28, 2012 at 21:54

      Who knows but if we can smoke it I am in.

    4. drewmeister July 14, 2010 at 05:01

      this made me lol

  63. Tribute April 9, 2010 at 00:38

    Shit, I fall into a bunch of these….3, 8, 9, 10, 11, 13, 31, 34 – Favorite color has always been green
    and of course #41 but in all fairness I've always been easily distracted, even before I started smokin

  64. highcheesesouth April 4, 2010 at 03:43

    :p

    1. LOWKIE April 8, 2010 at 20:59

      FUCK YOU SUCK MY DICK

  65. highcheesesouth April 4, 2010 at 03:42

    wow

    im pretty high guys.n.girls

    1. .... June 3, 2010 at 19:32

      cool, fag.

  66. eric March 12, 2010 at 17:08

    @ that one dude from Eugene

    Hey I’m from Eugene too, 541 nigga recognize.

  67. Paul March 11, 2010 at 17:22

    I wouldn't worry about the cops so much. Most of the ones I know are stoners, too.

    1. Rachel November 6, 2011 at 15:21

      Ha! Yeah… My sister told me about this time she was smoking with some friends in their garage and suddenly a cop in full uniform comes in and casually starts taking bong hits. It freaked my sister out at first. Pretty awesome though if you ask me.

  68. John February 23, 2010 at 08:02

    Dude these are great… I litterally laughed out loud when i read "41.They can barely make it to the end of a list like this without getting distracted." B/c i realized that it had taken me 20 minutes to read em all! Personally i think unless youve been a stoner and have that 6th sense then it is extreemly hard and near impossible to tell if a person is high if they dont want you to know. But if you go by this list you woulda caught me especially on the "irrelivent intellectual shit" haha! And btw dude with the lighter in the pic has his fly unzipped. and you should add a number 43- Person types a lot on website commentaries.

  69. Roberto February 12, 2010 at 19:14

    you are Right on the Money
    i agree with most of the signs

    1. Guest September 11, 2010 at 13:39

      cop?

  70. Dr.LivingStoned February 11, 2010 at 07:30

    I don't mean to nag or w/e but "SMOKERS LIPS" are a characteristic of crack heads or meth monkeys. I've smoked weed for like 5 years straight and never burned my self, i've get burned but in a good way.

    1. abrasive November 20, 2011 at 01:46

      Idk about that. I know some "hardcore" smokers determined to get that last hit who've gotten burned lips

      1. Im Ryze September 13, 2012 at 14:01

        yeah ive burned my lips plenty of time smoking joints

  71. GregoryStoned January 27, 2010 at 16:33

    A true stoner knows that 7-11 stops selling their hot dogs at midnight. #32 🙂

    1. Andrew June 27, 2012 at 17:00

      So true

  72. Lyric January 27, 2010 at 02:22

    Ways you can tell someone smokes simply by looking at their house/room
    – You're room smells like incense
    – You support NORML
    – You have more than two candles in your room
    – You have a can of febreeze in your room/living room
    – You have a large tapestry (or more than one) somewhere in your house/apartment/room
    – You have issues of "High Times" laying around

    (my house has all of these things 🙂 I think I might be too predictable though.

    Oh and another one – – You're from Eugene, OR 🙂 Represent!

    1. Evergreen January 24, 2012 at 03:53

      I smoked in Eugene… Last year, for a choir festival. I play drums, and my buddies play guitar and bass, and we were rooming together. i brought my bong and guitar friend rolled a joint out of Mormon bible paper haha.
      anyway. We stayed up all night and played music, listened to music, smoked, watched infomercials. The next day we took first place at the competition. Then we smoked again that night.
      Eugene's a pretty chill town.

  73. coopz January 25, 2010 at 06:37

    when you talk to yourself

    1. fffg June 1, 2010 at 07:21

      no

  74. Jjj January 22, 2010 at 14:40

    31. Should have British Columbia in it. Obvious choice is obvious.

  75. karol January 14, 2010 at 16:12

    when you ask "do you smoke" and they reply "cigarettes?"
    when my kid says "you smell like daddy!"

    1. Satyva Wylde February 25, 2013 at 06:03

      HAHAHA! Omg.. I've TOTALLY answered with that. BAGGED! Nice one.

  76. sugartits January 14, 2010 at 14:24

    I'm sorry but I don't agree with most of it and i am a hardcore smoker. I don't show most of those signs. About the only one is the black marks on the bottom of my lighter.

    1. jim November 27, 2010 at 22:34

      Im really careful about any evidence i leave.

      1. iration December 19, 2011 at 20:57

        like comments on weed websites claiming how much you smoke? fag

    2. sugartits sucks April 30, 2010 at 01:32

      cool "hardcore smoker", you're the man…. fag

  77. Dom January 5, 2010 at 10:02

    hahaha I’ve been busted by the first one. I don’t smoke cigs so everyone wonders why I have a lighter. So now when someone asks for a lighter, they’re shit out of luck, even though I have one. Unless its one of my buddies.

  78. never.ending.quest December 29, 2009 at 15:15

    lighters always out of fuel from hittin the bowl

  79. doped December 27, 2009 at 02:07

    Black streaks on their pants from cashing bowls and rubbing them on their legs when there's no ashtray within arm's reach.

    1. Jessica September 24, 2010 at 21:18

      This is exactly what I was going to say. I told my best friend that that was once thing I didn't like about smoking bowls and she got me this "ashsmasher" from the local smoke shop, It's great.

  80. frogit October 2, 2009 at 17:43

    43. your g/f asks you why your nut always tastes like weed

    1. paige February 11, 2013 at 04:10

      whaaaaaaaat???????? shit son that made me LOL

    2. olphatkatt January 19, 2011 at 01:23

      haaahaaxD

    3. StonedTonigh March 12, 2010 at 01:12

      OMG THAT MADE ME LAUGH!!!!!

  81. Lily August 26, 2009 at 01:23

    I love stoners.

  82. gordy August 14, 2009 at 20:09

    i need more photos of that chik!!!

    good article. i did barely make it to the end without becoming distracted.

    damn, i even "know" that same stoner kid!

  83. Hans August 14, 2009 at 19:34

    "# They can barely make it to the end of a list like this without getting distracted."

    Fuck, you got me.

    1. jasus January 20, 2011 at 03:35

      we got distracted by family guy right before #41

    2. bob November 27, 2010 at 22:33

      did it without even flinching and Im STONED as shit.!!! good fun. I liked the 6th sense one. i kinda have that. I just know.

    3. peter "flowers" August 7, 2010 at 18:05

      fucking got me 2 lol XD

    4. Guest June 1, 2010 at 08:00

      i know, i had to take a hit halfway down the list

      1. rohit June 18, 2011 at 15:38

        not the only one then. serious habit

  84. […] Pitino’s press conference doodles [Holy Taco] 42.0 ways to tell if someone may be stoner [Hail Mary Jane] Getafe and creepily BK team up [The Slanch Report] Sexy German model Lena Gercke [DJ Mick] on205th […]

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