42.0 Ways To Tell If Someone May Be A Stoner

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Stoner friends are the best. If you have no bud, they might have some and come and blaze with you. You laugh together, cry together, and cough up smoke together. Finding new smoking buddies makes me very excited but you have to be careful trying to find new friends who smoke because afterall, it is illegal and all.

Have you ever been suspicious of a co-worker or friend being a stoner but you weren't sure? Here are 42.0 ways for you to find out if you potentially have a new smoking buddy or not. These are not all true for every smoker so they won't always apply but many of them apply to many smokers.

Hopefully no cops are reading this.  If you are a cop, leave my page immediately, but click on some ads before you go.

  1. They always have a lighter, but you never see them smoke
  2. They always smell like weed
  3. You go to their house and hailmaryjane.com is in their browsing history.
  4. You see them hop out of this van.vw_van37
  5. If you ask them a question, every single response is "what? or "what did you say man?"
  6. If you are a stoner yourself, usually you can just tell.  Sort of like a stoner 6th sense.
  7. If they are funny and usually calm.
  8. Sometimes you see them and their eyes are red as hell and others they aren't.
  9. They are always "tired."
  10. Check the bottom of their lighter. If it has black marks on the bottom of their lighter, you know they been using it to push down bowls / snub out joints.
  11. Their lighter has no safety0925080040_545x409.shkl
  12. If they smoke cigarettes, they hold it between their index and thumb, instead of between their middle find and index.
  13. Their DVD collection includes half baked, how high, pineapple express, or any number of the other movies on this list.
  14. They are always smiling.
  15. They walk, move and/or talk slowly.
  16. Half the cardboard has been ripped off their pack of papers
  17. They like it big....420-chick-17
  18. Burnt finger tips
  19. Burnt lips aka smokers lip.
  20. Their ipod contains songs from this list.
  21. They always take a break at work at 4:20 pm.
  22. Stoners usually have baggy eyes, whether they are high or not.
  23. If you have dreads you are probably a stoner, if you are white and have dreads you are almost certainly a stoner.stoner-791927
  24. If they own a long board.  Where do you think they are riding? To go get stoned, duh!
  25. They use the term "dank for almost anything.  (Dank food, dank drinks, dank bud, etc.)
  26. They wear sun glasses at night
  27. They are very good with fractions (1/8ths, 1/4ths, 1/2ths, etc.) and conversions (28.3 g=1 ounce and 16o= 1 pound)
  28. If they are wearing a Bob Marley, Kottonmouth Kings, or Cypress Hill tee,
  29. They use Rohto eye drops.  Most people will just use visine but all real stoners know that Rohto is king.Coupon Outline
  30. They are a graduate of Oaksterdam University.
  31. They are from California, Amsterdam or Jamaica.  This isn't a guarantee but I'll usually put money on people from these places being stoners.
  32. You meet them at 3am at 7-11 buying two hot dogs, a bag of doritos, skittles, and a 2 liter bottle of pepsi; while you are buying the same thing.
  33. They always got some intellectual shit to say even though its usually irrelevant.
  34. Their favorite color is green, or purple.6-24-08 PurpleWreck (4)
  35. They wear clothes made out of hemp.
  36. You met them at Ziggy Marley concert.
  37. They haven't shaven in weeks (sometimes, or they might just be grimey)
  38. They pull their cigarette like a blunt.
  39. They dress like a hippy.
  40. Even their pets know how to get it in.qpuj7_545x409shkl1
  41. They can barely make it to the end of a list like this without getting distracted.
  42. Ask them.  Most of the time it will be fine as long as you are not asking a cop, a teacher, or your boss.

Shout outs to my friends at grass cityThis post inspired this post from me.  Did I forget anything?  Leave it in the comments people.

Comments

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Author: Lenny

Women. Weed. Weather. @LennyGaiter @hail_mary_jane

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119 Comments

  1. "# They can barely make it to the end of a list like this without getting distracted."

    Fuck, you got me.

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    • i know, i had to take a hit halfway down the list

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      • not the only one then. serious habit

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    • fucking got me 2 lol XD

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    • did it without even flinching and Im STONED as shit.!!! good fun. I liked the 6th sense one. i kinda have that. I just know.

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    • we got distracted by family guy right before #41

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  2. i need more photos of that chik!!!

    good article. i did barely make it to the end without becoming distracted.

    damn, i even "know" that same stoner kid!

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  3. 43. your g/f asks you why your nut always tastes like weed

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    • OMG THAT MADE ME LAUGH!!!!!

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    • whaaaaaaaat???????? shit son that made me LOL

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  4. Black streaks on their pants from cashing bowls and rubbing them on their legs when there's no ashtray within arm's reach.

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    • This is exactly what I was going to say. I told my best friend that that was once thing I didn't like about smoking bowls and she got me this "ashsmasher" from the local smoke shop, It's great.

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  5. lighters always out of fuel from hittin the bowl

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  6. hahaha I’ve been busted by the first one. I don’t smoke cigs so everyone wonders why I have a lighter. So now when someone asks for a lighter, they’re shit out of luck, even though I have one. Unless its one of my buddies.

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  7. I'm sorry but I don't agree with most of it and i am a hardcore smoker. I don't show most of those signs. About the only one is the black marks on the bottom of my lighter.

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    • cool "hardcore smoker", you're the man…. fag

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    • Im really careful about any evidence i leave.

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      • like comments on weed websites claiming how much you smoke? fag

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  8. when you ask "do you smoke" and they reply "cigarettes?"
    when my kid says "you smell like daddy!"

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  9. 31. Should have British Columbia in it. Obvious choice is obvious.

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  10. when you talk to yourself

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  11. Ways you can tell someone smokes simply by looking at their house/room
    – You're room smells like incense
    – You support NORML
    – You have more than two candles in your room
    – You have a can of febreeze in your room/living room
    – You have a large tapestry (or more than one) somewhere in your house/apartment/room
    – You have issues of "High Times" laying around

    (my house has all of these things :) I think I might be too predictable though.

    Oh and another one – – You're from Eugene, OR :) Represent!

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    • I smoked in Eugene… Last year, for a choir festival. I play drums, and my buddies play guitar and bass, and we were rooming together. i brought my bong and guitar friend rolled a joint out of Mormon bible paper haha.
      anyway. We stayed up all night and played music, listened to music, smoked, watched infomercials. The next day we took first place at the competition. Then we smoked again that night.
      Eugene's a pretty chill town.

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  12. A true stoner knows that 7-11 stops selling their hot dogs at midnight. #32 :)

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  13. I don't mean to nag or w/e but "SMOKERS LIPS" are a characteristic of crack heads or meth monkeys. I've smoked weed for like 5 years straight and never burned my self, i've get burned but in a good way.

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    • Idk about that. I know some "hardcore" smokers determined to get that last hit who've gotten burned lips

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      • yeah ive burned my lips plenty of time smoking joints

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  14. you are Right on the Money
    i agree with most of the signs

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  15. Dude these are great… I litterally laughed out loud when i read "41.They can barely make it to the end of a list like this without getting distracted." B/c i realized that it had taken me 20 minutes to read em all! Personally i think unless youve been a stoner and have that 6th sense then it is extreemly hard and near impossible to tell if a person is high if they dont want you to know. But if you go by this list you woulda caught me especially on the "irrelivent intellectual shit" haha! And btw dude with the lighter in the pic has his fly unzipped. and you should add a number 43- Person types a lot on website commentaries.

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  16. I wouldn't worry about the cops so much. Most of the ones I know are stoners, too.

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    • Ha! Yeah… My sister told me about this time she was smoking with some friends in their garage and suddenly a cop in full uniform comes in and casually starts taking bong hits. It freaked my sister out at first. Pretty awesome though if you ask me.

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  17. @ that one dude from Eugene

    Hey I’m from Eugene too, 541 nigga recognize.

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  18. wow

    im pretty high guys.n.girls

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  19. Shit, I fall into a bunch of these….3, 8, 9, 10, 11, 13, 31, 34 – Favorite color has always been green
    and of course #41 but in all fairness I've always been easily distracted, even before I started smokin

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  20. I don't know what a "1/2th" is but I'd say anyone who does is a stoner.

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  21. Now I havent smoke in close to a year and a half cas of the Marine Corps, but I must say that I really cant agree with all of these. Now some are true, with the black on the lighter and the fact it doest have a saftey. Idk, ii still have that 6th sense to spot out stoners. Everyone in my unit knows i was a stoner from the moment i got here. But just by slow reaction and slow talking. Taking a period of time to finish a answer. Being overly calm. And just your laugh in general.

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    • How come everyone I've met on the internet who claims to be a Marine is fucking illiterate?

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      • Do you even know what illiterate means?

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    • with some people yes i have seen ppl ik smoke pot holding it like a joint

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      • I always hold it like that. I even hold bowls like that when i pass and receive them.

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        • I think its when you start smoking J's before you smoke cigs.

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          • That's me. I smoked pot for years before smoking cigs regularly. I only started smoking cigs because I took a job with randoms and had to stop smoking weed for a while but still had the smoking habit. People would always comment on how funny I held the cigarette. Eventually, I adapted and now I hold joints like a cigarette.

  22. in between BC and Oregon you find the mecca of stoners Seattle, WA. If youre from there you re a stoner fo sho ! represent 206 & 425

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  23. when they can't remember what they just said

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  24. You forgot the complete collection of Cheech and Chong movies, retro copies of High Times magazines and The Fabulously Furious Freak Brothers comic book collection. If they have these then they ARE or WERE a Stoner.

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  25. this was funny. it took me an hour bc i had to think about everyone and how it was tru. and laugh to my self. and do other things,, but hahah i dont know man it was tight but some were soo off dude. but. uh yesah

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  26. When they are all calm, then they hear something n get serious and paranoid for a sec, then they go back to normal. Just say "Where the bud at" and you'll know fo show. This site is dank bro. Now I know why my favorite color is purple!

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  27. hahaha im so stoned and for some odd reason this shit halarious haha, shitt.

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  28. most of the items on this list are true when it comes to me hehe but i really love #40 cus is true… my dog knows when im gonna smoke and literally begs for me to blow my hit in her face 😀

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    • that's when you know your dogs a stoner lol. give your dog a pat on the head from me, he's a good boy!!!

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  29. arent most stoners skateboarders

    i think my friends are stoners…

    by the way im from Albany OR too

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  30. hahaha brochacho, props on this list, it's so true.

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  31. LOL that guys zipper is down

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  32. it took me 15 mins to rad the list..then i got the one about not making it through the list..nearly dropped my L i was laughing so hard!!! hahahhaaha

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  33. You forgot "if they have a kottonmouth kings tattoo. That's usually a dead giveaway… JS. xD

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  34. i fell under 38 of these

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  35. When u burn your bangs from lighting a blunt or joint

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    • yeah but that usually comes out if you wash your hair.

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  36. 33.They always got some intellectual shit to say even though its usually irrelevant. describes me a good bit loll

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  37. good list, but 1 pound = 454g

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  38. I know exactly what you mean by the "stoner 6th sense." It's like our souls instantly bond the second another smoker walks into the room.

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  39. This shit waz a trip. (oo)
    v

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  40. didn't get distracted until no 34 cuz my favourite colour is green then i sat back and thought i was born to be a pickle and got dead proud of myself for ending up smoking weed

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  41. How to tell older stoners? They have Grateful Dead stickers on their car. They really need their medicine because the old arthritis flares up all the time. If male, has a long grey ponytail and beard. If female, is partial to tiedye muumuus. Still says "farout, man" or "trippy".

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    • It's true. My grandpa was a huge stoner and he dropped a lot of acid in his day too. "Far out, Mick" That's all I hear when he's around.

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  42. 33 is apt for many that I know, although I wouldn’t actually consider the topics or subject matter discussed to be irrelevant.

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  43. on no.11 the dudes fly is down

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  44. You can tell a stoner when the subject of stoners is forgotten in the forum over a slight oversight of a zipper being down. Way to get shit done :)

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  45. 31. What about BC and Portland, OR?!

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  46. thank god i live in holland, is just ask the dude if he wants to smoke a joint

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  47. If they like to golf or go fishing, what do you think they are doing out there? Why do they need to "get away from it all" ?

    If you do like to smoke and golf, try http://bighittergolfpipes.com!

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  48. KIDS< PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE follow rule number 42!!! Your teachers really enjoy educating you and may very well keep your red eyed secret. but NEVER ask your teacher that question. It can ruin careers during these confusing and economically fucked times.
    Now… get your hpmewrok started!!!
    I'll relax….hehe

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  49. Ha! The alpha-stoner in our group usually makes it a point to steal our lighters and rip off the safety before returning it to us. I get kinda pissed sometimes when I get my lighter back and the top is mangled. Oh well. :p

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  50. Diff moods all most every time ur with em.

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  51. be careful of number 27 which is a good indicator but the person might be a cook or a baker which im sure they hit good dank….aww dam im a cook lol there mind im high

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  52. I have a huge Bob flag with christmas lights around it. People never think twice to ask where da dank at lol

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  53. lol… #42. teachers. i go to college and know a lot of pot smoking future teachers.

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  54. I had a gf who would burn her acrylic thumb and index nails from trying to finish the roach all the time. Eventually, I had to get her a pipe. She was such a sexy stoner.

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  55. i asked my teacher once but i only poped up with a random Q. once and a while and she would always answer. and she was a stoner!! her favorite color was green, she used the eyedrops or watever they are, and was ALWAYS TIRED. and she had a van that was painted like that and she also was a hippy and “had to get away from it almost everyday” so most of the time we had a sub…..but that was a LONG time ago….but im not as old as you think i am

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  56. people who use the word "dank" are 100% stoner!

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  57. efffry1 in da world shuld be a stoner, LEGALIZZZE POT 2012

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  58. This article was dumb as hell and not funny. But the pic of the chick smoking a bong with her tits hangng out above her hot legs and ass was worth it all.

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  59. Or if they got long hair. Some people say that to me. "Oh you got long hair, You must be a stoner."

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  60. I had a supervisor who always ask to barrow my lighter and the first thing he does after lighting his cig is look at the bottom of my lighter and give me a knowing look when he would see black stuff on it, so I had keep my toking lighter at home and a non burnt one in my car.

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  61. dude, i was most of these BEFORE i ever toked lol. friend in an old band would always ask if i was stoned haha

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  62. who can get me a good connection.

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  63. all stoners zone out all the time ha ive become quite pro at it xD
    stay trippy n high
    duces

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  64. I have observed that the stoners are physically attractive, optimistic & straightforward (instinctively honest, decent people). They tend to be more intelligent and evidence-based sort of persons. One is drawn to their personalities, since they communicate 'fun' and 'well-being' in their facial and bodily features!

    Those who lie, cheat & steal in business and government jobs despise stoners, since stoners intuitively avoid them for the social plague such human scum represent. There will be a moral revolution in our society (USA) when MaryJane is legalized!

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  65. Just started..it’s really nice getting high…from Nigeria

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  66. Lol I got distracted about halfway down Thr list and I only remembered this an hour later when I turned my phone on lol. 😀 hit the hay buds 😀

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  67. Lol I got distracted about halfway down Thr list and I only remembered this an hour later when I turned my phone on lol. 😀 hit the hay buds 😀 haha

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  68. Yea I remembered just starting collage last year and met this dude who was always smiling and after settling down an becoming acquainted when ever he is not writing notes he kept holding the pen like a blunt and smiling.As for me my extra black burnt lips gives me a way.

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  69. Pretty dank list! Rhoto silver’s for the win (if you’ve got a pair). I have to say thanks for the movie and music lists. Got some good pics on here too. Had a good laugh after I came back from watching TV only to read “can barely make it to the end of a list like this without getting distracted.” Good stuff…

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    • omg jesus is a cop!

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      • This explains so much!

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  70. D.A.N.K to keep kidz off shwagg

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  71. you feel the vibes maaan?

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  72. Haha, I got a good laugh outta this … Stay trippy, much love

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  73. Everyone always assumes I’m a stoner ever though I’m not. I often have people if I can sell them weed. I have tried weed and hate it with a passion. It makes my whole body hurt and makes me panicy and to start feeling like everyone hates me or that I’m a freak or something. I’m just naturally mellow, creative and laid back without that stuff.

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  74. Smokes? For what purpose?

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