As long as marijuana is illegal, we will all have to deal with them. You know, the sometimes shady, sometimes flaky, sometimes weird weed dealer? The one who will tell you he is going to call you and you don’t hear from him for 3 days. Yeah… that guy.
Hopefully you have a good weed man, for your sake. Hopefully you have a guy that will do at least 5-10 things on this list. They don’t necessarily have to do them all (nobodies perfect) but they definitely do have to have a few if they want return customers.
Here are 30 things you should expect to be done from a good weed man, if they aren’t being done then that means that you need to find a new guys.
- He has good prices
- Will take shorts from time to time
- Is available…. ALL THE TIME..
- Has a phone… with minutes
- Doesn’t make up weird names for every product
- Won’t keep you waiting
- He is local
- He delivers (sometimes they deliver food or something too)
- Never lets the phone go to voicemail
- He is always stocked
- He has a variety to choose from
- Throws you a bday sack
- When he says he’s going to call you back, he actually does
- Will smoke you up every now and then
- Doesn’t expect you to smoke him up on stuff you just bought
- Never short (Get a scale to make sure)
- Never pinches the bag
- If he has bad weed, he gives you large quantities
- Doesn’t weigh out his weed and gives more than what you paid for
- Gives free blunt wraps or papers with transactions
- Has at least one other person that can conduct business for him
- Doesn’t just give you a good deal the first time you go to him
- Offers other illegal goods or services
- They introduce themselves or offer you weed initially
- They are cool to hang out with. All weed dealers seem to want to be your friend so at least be interesting
- Their crib is a place where you can make connections
- He is consistent… You don’t want him to let you down at the wrong time
- Picks up his phone whether he has it or not
- Uses twitter.. Not a requirement but it makes it easier to keep up with him
- He reads HailMaryJane.com so he knows all of these rules
Shout outs to all my friends on twitter for helping me out with this one. Follow me on twitter if you aren’t already. Did we miss any?