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20 Types Of Marijuana Dealers

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We all have to deal with them whether we like it or not. There are thousands of drug dealers who profit everyday of the fact that drugs like marijuana are illegal. In order to get marijuana, even for medical purposes, you have to deal with these (sometimes) shady characters. As long as the Governments of the world continue to be stupid and keep weed illegal, we will always have to deal with these guys.

Here are 20 different types of dealers that I or people I know have come across. Now you will know what you are dealing with when getting your weed.

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Shady – This is the guy that tells you in order to get it you have to meet him two blocks down, around the corner, through an alleyway, and on the fire escape, just to get a dime.

The Aggressor – The hustlers are the ones that advertise way too much.  They will run up to you if they see you on the street just to tell you about the newest, strongest strain they have.  All of these strains usually have crazy names like Acapulco Platinum Haze or something wild like that.

Money is Money – The guy that will give you a dime for $8.75.  He sees money as money so will hook you up with deals every now and then.  We like this guy.

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Paranoido – The guy that is scared of everything.  He doesn’t want you to call or text anything.  He wants you to park you car 3 blocks away.  He wants you to come by yourself and will never tell you what his real name is.

The Part Time Hustler – This is the guy that you can only catch at certain times in the day.  You know if you call him between the hours of 12pm-6pm he will be available but if you try to get him any other time, he just won’t pick up the phone at all.

Mr. Flakiness – I hate this guy.  He’s the one that will tell you he’s not available and he’ll call you back in 20 minutes.  20 minutes never comes though.  He will have you waiting all day and then when you finally get tired of waiting and decide to call him, he’s not picking up.  Then he calls the next day with it.  You still get it but you are pissed that you couldn’t get it when you originally wanted.

Gift Giver – This is the guy that makes you smoke up in order to get the weed.  Sometimes that’s cool because you get some weed and he smokes you up, but sometimes you just want to grab some and go because you have things like work or something to go to.  Although it’s usually pretty good.

Buddy Buddy – The ones that want to become your friend.  I have enough friends.  I just want to make my purchase and go.

The Sleezball – The one that will exchange weed for sexual favors and isn’t ashamed about it.

The Infomercial – The hustlers that falsely advertise to you.  They tell you their stuff is the best stuff you will ever smoke and it turns out to be schwag with air freshener sprayed on it.

Mr. Reliable – This is our favorite guy.  You can always rely on him to have good bags, good prices, and he is consistent.  This is a guy you want to know.  You can move away and move back and he will still be there.

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The Delivery Boy – This is the guy that will delivery your weed to your door.  He has the car and the time to do it and doesn’t realize that he saves money if he makes you come to him.  Often times, these guys have jobs as delivery guys for other places.  It is always great when you find a guy that delivers Pizza and weed.

Mr. No Shorts – The guy that never cuts you a deal ever, you either have the normal price or you aren’t walking away with anything.

The Backwards Hustler – The guy who only hustles to support their own habit.  He is only getting an O every time he re-ups.  He is smoking half, hustling half, and doing it over and over again.  For years.  Never progressing.

The Social Hustler – He is not a regular hustler. Hes not normally the weed man but he will have every so often.  If he is at a party, you can bet that he bought an extra 1/8 to hustle off some.  Other than that, don’t expect to get anything from this guy on a regular basis.

One and Done – These are the guys that you see one time and one time only.  They usually have a great deal, you get their number and everything but for one reason or another, you never see them again in life.

Well Known Hustlers – These are the guys you go to just for their reputation.  They may not have the best stuff but they just have high status or they know a celebrity or something.

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Phone Hustler – This is the guy who you never really know where he is because he is always someplace new but if you call him, he will get up and meet you somewhere with a few bags.

Stationary Hustler – This is the guy that is always posted up on the corner or in front of the bodega.  You can’t call him but you can pretty much bet that most times in the day he will be out at his spot.

Mr. Middleman – The “I gotta holla at my man” hustlers. The one that never have anything of their own but always know someone that has it.

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Author: Lenny

Women. Weed. Weather. @LennyGaiter @hail_mary_jane

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  • Wes

    the top photo has grams of coke on the table, not weed.

  • yeah wes im aware but I thought that image was too awesome to pass up and i couldn’t find a pic like that with weed.

  • Eli

    That is so true!! LOL

    i must say that i contain most, if not all, of those qualities….
    these days u cant be stationary unless u gotta mean stash spot

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  • buck

    you got me fucked up cuz why the fuck go to those bitchass niggas when you can find some real huslas and get the shit any time. you got me fucked with these fake ass dealers!

    • adhd

      dude in english please

      • realdeal

        say what

    • realdeal

      i got what u need nigga

    • saber

      your just a fucking idiot lol.

    • John

      Yo can you hook me up

  • walker

    bad ass that describes every Dealer i no!

  • heavy G

    Mr. Flakiness, Mr. Reliable, The Social Hustler, Well Known Hustlers are the best kind

  • Kameron Reeves

    i love weed its my friend smoke it up homies!!!!

  • Lyric

    My guys are Mr. Delivery Boy, The Gift Giver, Mr. Reliable, and I'm definitely the middleman (or middle-woman I should say) for A LOT of people.

  • jack

    i'm so glad to live in the netherlands were we've got coffeeshops. the only thing what i have to do is walk inside give the money and walk out again( with the weed ofcourse) good one for the list of ways to know your stoned: buy weed but forget to take it with you:P

  • HarryManback

    Hah! this post is awesome. I've known so many of these in my life. I've got a mix of part-time hustler and mr.reliable, with a little money is money thrown in haha. decent mix if you ask me. I used to be the deliveryman(pizza and weed) but now i'm just a middleman.

    • sunilthakur

      hey bady what's up

  • haha; ive known like one of every one of these people! i love it 🙂

  • Will Crane

    No shit, i talk ta each of those kinds of guys/gals evryday. ima high sku student so u knw how it is tryn ta get a bag or 10 and a swisher.

  • mnasty

    lol nothin like a dutch and that haze get at me

  • g

    backwards hustler ftw lol

  • Declan

    mr.middle man is the fuckin worst. they always have the excuse “i hooked u up , so i smoke up”. and wont connect you with some ppl

  • yesinia

    sum of this shit is true.den again i grow mi own shit

  • bob

    for a while the only dealer is had was a combination of Mr. Middleman, Shady, The Infomercial, Gift Giver, and the most consistent trait; Mr. Flakiness.

    I could always tell when i got the shitweed, because he wouldn't ask to smoke it.
    The most unreliable person ever.

    As soon as i found another dealer, i dropped him faster than you can imagine.

    Customer service pays well.

  • Kelsey

    weeeedddd is fuckin awesomeeee (: smokin those bowls one by one ,

  • dippy

    i got a dude thats a middle man who is also one of my buds, but he hooks me up with good shit for free sometimes. and then i got my main man…

  • jhon

    do you deal to cumbria

  • cheyenne

    does any one know a great dealer in boise idaho

    • Ben

      Hey-from Boise here. Did you ever end up finding a dealer? I am new to the area and also looking around for so e maryjane.

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    Eway= dealer in malaysia, bust this mothafucka

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  • smokey mcpot

    my dealer seems to be a combo of all of these :/

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  • midnight toker

    In the past year I’ve been struggling to find a reliable dealer. The various ones that I’ve encountered are:

    one and done – this guy sold to me once but then stopped dealing and using all together

    number two is a combination of The Infomercial, the Middle-Man, and Phone-Hustler. It was my third time buying and I got ripped off from him and never bought again.

    next is a guy my friend usually buys from. He came off as a Gift Giver and Mr. Reliable. Recently we decided to buy a half o. He shaved $15 off his normal price and ended up selling us a ton of leftover buds, no nugs. While he seemed like a good guy in reality hes a Paranoido, Mr Flakiness, and somewhat of Mr. Infomercial.

    My current guy seems like Mr. Reliable. 🙂 my friend who sent me to him has told me hes sort of a Part-Time Hustler, but I’ve had no problems with that

    peace and pot everyone

  • Absolute2986

    I would be the middle man, I don’t usually have anything on me, but if you’ve got my gold I can find and if necessary deliver (for a fee of course) you’re poison. Always put a little tax on the product but hey, if you don’t like paying extra find your own dealer(s)! =P

  • alian

    i know like 20 of each kinds lol

  • gnarly shit

    the ” one and done “, ha. love it. hilarious
    i have met and dealt with… a ton of those guys. how about the ‘ love me 2 times’ category. also: have never seen a female hustlin buds in the street. 2012 and in this part of the east side of north america paranoia reigns supreme: no, you drooling puss-bag, I am NOT a fucking cop !

  • Mr Tibbs

    hey any one know a good dealer with exotic and knows what it is in SC or MD or hell that would mail it to me hit my email up mrtibbs18@gmail.com

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  • Toni

    I’m a middle man. For close friends only. Except I hook my niggas up for free. Up to an O. But if it is an O they want, we smoke and chill for a bit. ONLY cause we are close.


    • N.C cashflow

      They are scammers. They tried too sale me. But im no fool.

  • 1$mokeTuff4

    I get my purple for well know hustlers and the drug dealer with the pounds, but ive went through every dealer

  • dickhead

    im a mr reliable

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  • WonderingWTFisGoingOn321

    Came across this as I Sit here right now waiting on Mr. flakiness, the sleezball, the delivery boy, Mr Well-known hustler and phone hustler.
    Its just one person, been waiting for 2 hrs now…..WOW REALLY….& I spend at least 50 a day with this dude. His weed is just so good……

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    Hey buddy,Please hit back if looking for some hook up 424 259 1198

  • Kyle Walker

    We have medical Marijuana strictly thc..contact (240)718-4666 or email macktsilao90@gmail.com….

    • Benjamin Carver

      You sound like a cop.

  • Jason Kiernan

    I need weed in slatington pa

  • Jason Kiernan

    I need weed

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  • ufo

    Like i dont have a very social life and im going off to school in like 2 weeks. How would you suggest i get weed between then and now

    • ufo (the same guy)

      Btw i live in findlay oh if that makes a difference

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